I've just received a text from MIL which I think was meant for DH and it has upset me.

[Thishasupsetme]

The message said 'Looking forward to Sunday, I'll pick you and DGD up at 1.30pm for X's christening, remember not to mention it to DW'
DH has told me that he is going to take DD out for a few hours on Saturday to give me some time to myself, but it looks like he is going to his family members christening and I am not invited.
I didn't know I had upset anyone. DD was christed 6 months ago now and all of his family were invited and his cousin is DD godmother.
I am really upset. I don't know if I should mention it to him or hust leave it.

He is talking out of his arse, he had every intention of going to the Christening.

Did he tell you why you were excluded from the invite and why he didn't see fit to stick up for you?

Have all the obvious options already been considered? Surprise party etc?

Well done for keeping calm.

Keep email to godmother brief and friendly - I would just outline what has happened and say you're upset, and you hope you haven't offended her. There is a chance she has been spun some line by the MIL - like you can't/won't come for some reason - so you need to keep it neutral until you're sure of the facts.

Now turn the hot water tap on in the kitchen to freeze his shower.

lol at tap and shower IANH

OOh, a surprise party! That's a thought! Best not to give MIL a good talking to, jjust in case!

at your DH trying to weasle out of it.

Hope it all gets properly sorted out in the long run

Iamnothere- wicked but I love it

I think you need to talk to him again. Tell him he's got some more explaining to do!

I'd ask him why you werent invited in the first place? Or perhaps you were invited and MIL and DH had just decided not to pass on the invite?

I'd also ask him to explain what exactly he was 'humouring'!! So his mother basically said to him 'lets go with THUM' and he said yes to humour her even though he didnt agree or want to go? Ask him why on earth your MIL didnt want to tell you about it in the first place and why on earth he went along with the crazy idea of lying to you?

I wouldnt rest until I had all the answers and I'd tell him that you are planning on calling DDs Godmother to find out more too and even tell him you plan to call MIL to ask her why she talked your DH into it (if that is what he is saying!). If he is lying now to try and appease you then he will panic at the thought of being caught out and hopefully tell all!

He owes you big time - no flowers, chocs ... and he could n't come up with anything better having had a while to think about it . Well done on being so calm, bet that threw him . Like the idea of a cold shower !

he is lying to you

which is really worrying

He hasn't given you a proper explanation yet and he hasn't been made to tell the truth, so I would not leave it at this, personally. But proceed with not losing your temper, just ask cold logical questions and don't accept lying half-responses.

I have been trying to catch up with the rest of the posts, I am not a troll, I really wish I was, I really wish that I wasn't in a marriage that looks set to go down the pan

I am a regular (have been here since may 2007), not a well known regular and a relative newbie in relation to others, but I have name changed because I feel embarresed about this. I like my usual name it os more my own persona iyswim.

I do agree with Greeny - he is lying and I don't know if that or humouring MIL instead of telling her to fk off is worse tbh.

He sounds scared of his mother.

Has he said why you weren't invited?

I agree greensleeves. Favourite opt out clause of most men- no real explaination, merely a half conversation. FGS I'm now angry at MY DH and he hasn't even done anything!!!

pmsl shoot, mine is sat here being very quiet with his hands over his bollocks

THUM everyone gets called a troll.

We have gone from 'ignore the troll' to 'ignore the troll patroll' on mn.

Ignore troll accusations.

Hi, read all the thread and think you handled it really really well. Well done. I'd have been a screaming obscenity-laden mess, I expect. I really hope he sorts his priorities out sharpish - you deserve better than this.

I'm almost sorry you're not a troll coz then you wouldn't be a real person who's in such a shitty situation. Please get him to tell you why he condoned you not being invited. It is the only way that your marriage won't go down the pan if he starts to be honest.

dont feel embarrased you have done nothing wrong.
You are the only one who knows if dh is telling the truth or made up a cover story.
I hope it works out ok in the end. hugs

hope ur ok THUM, just changed my name myself, i was lisamaguire

No he hasn't told me why I wasn't invited

TBH I dont want him here atm, I need him to go so that I can get my head straight.

He has stomped off upstairs now, probably gone to bed so that he doesn't have to sit here with me and do any explaining.

I am going to ask him tomorrow if he will leave for a few days (mil is welcome to him).

I'd stomp off after him, kick him out of YOUR bed and tell him to feckle off tonight!