I've just received a text from MIL which I think was meant for DH and it has upset me.

[Thishasupsetme]

The message said 'Looking forward to Sunday, I'll pick you and DGD up at 1.30pm for X's christening, remember not to mention it to DW'
DH has told me that he is going to take DD out for a few hours on Saturday to give me some time to myself, but it looks like he is going to his family members christening and I am not invited.
I didn't know I had upset anyone. DD was christed 6 months ago now and all of his family were invited and his cousin is DD godmother.
I am really upset. I don't know if I should mention it to him or hust leave it.

How very strange. Hope you get to the bottom of all of this, with no more lies or deceit.

or a least call your friend so at least you have some idea of why before he comes in and lies through his teeth.

Gone to play a game, shocking. Poor you!

"Didn't want you to find out like this" tells you straight away that there has been some deceit. Deceit is never OK. End of. Put the fear of God into him and tell him he won't be able to take your dd anywhere at the weekend because he won't be living with you. And have a bag packed for him. Then watch him grovel.

Fwiw, here's my theory:

MIL has assumed that you would be upset at not being a Godparent. Whether she really believes this or wants everyone else to believe it to stir up shit, who knows?

She has therefore persuaded all the sorry participants in this mess to go along with a secret Christening that you will be excluded from possibly "for your own good". There are more people than just your dh involved in this, you see - a lot of people have lied to you.

She is currently with your dh coaching him on how to make peace with you.

It's all a bit pathetic.

Btw, how old is your dd? Too young to tell you where she'd been on Sunday presumably?

I have been reading this thread, oh my gosh, I totally feel for you, how awful!
Fancy a new pair of earings? Im sure his balls would make lovely ones!
Id be fuming, but agree that you should defo stay deadly calm, and do say a word, silence scares people and he'll spill it all! This works a treat in my opinion.
Godd luck and I really hope its not as bad as we all think.
Big hugs

Even though you're angry though, try and couch it as "I think you need to come home so that we can address this as adults" rather than "get your arse home now, I'm furious with you"

it's very typical for a man in this situation to just frame his dw as another controlling mother - he is then free to shuttle between the two, whining that nothing is ever his fault and women are always nagging him.

He ISN'T caught between a controlling mother and a harridan wife - he's a married man with a child who needs to stand up for his OWN immediate family and stop being a dickhead before he loses everything

God this has riled me!

I think a packed bag would be a very good message accompanied by the words "go and live with your mother". (whether you mean it or not)

in this instance i would insist dh stayed at home with me on sunday
if i am not invited then neither is he

i would ffeel awkward going know ing that i wasnt supposed to be there

I believe you KerryMum

Yes. A bag accompanied by a note:
"Go live with your mum, as I am clearly not your family"

Or, If it was me, I would just take my dd and go on a small imprompty holiday for a week, while considering my future in this marriage.

Go on, pack him a bag. It will at least give you something to do while you wait for him to work up the courage to come home. Then you are in the stronger position of deciding whether or not he'll need it.

DH home now, be back later......

best of luck

Me too Greensleeves

OP- have you rang him yet and told him to get home and start talking?

Good luck.

Good luck!

Sending you some vibes, best of luck love.

Hurry up and come back THUM I've got an essay to write....

Good luck, hope all goes OK.

Goodl luck be strong I was going to get tea make tea half an hour ago but am gripped

Now, I like QS's style. Why don't you pack some stuff for you and your dd and go off to your mum's / best mate's for the weekend? If you're not invited to a family event, I don't see why you should have to let your dh take your child.

How many of us have just thought "oh to be a fly on the wall" ????

My word, this has picked up hasn't it? I've only been gone an hour!
Poor THUM, I hope she gives H an incredibly hard time.
I can't imagine what he could say to make this better.
Then to go and play a fucking video game! Is he mad?

I feel sick with nerves for her...got to cook tea and don't think I can concentrate..