I've just received a text from MIL which I think was meant for DH and it has upset me.

[Thishasupsetme]

The message said 'Looking forward to Sunday, I'll pick you and DGD up at 1.30pm for X's christening, remember not to mention it to DW'
DH has told me that he is going to take DD out for a few hours on Saturday to give me some time to myself, but it looks like he is going to his family members christening and I am not invited.
I didn't know I had upset anyone. DD was christed 6 months ago now and all of his family were invited and his cousin is DD godmother.
I am really upset. I don't know if I should mention it to him or hust leave it.

You need to tell him to come home now and sort this out.

I bet that he will not be home by 6pm as he will get cought up in 'call of duty' and won't be home until he thinks you will be in bed.

there cannot possibly be an innocent explanation for this.

Tbh, rather than wantin to know why, I would be wanting to know how many other family occasions you've been excluded from, because I would bet money this isn't the first time - it's just the first time you've found out.

And then I would refuse to have a relationship with your mil and would refuse to allow your dd to have a relationship with her.

And I would be seriously questioning my marriage.

E Mail your friend and ask her whats going on. if she was your bridesmaid then i assume shes your friend. Just call before they are all telling the same story as i agree with others your DH and MIl will be getting thier stories straight at the moment and the mother of the christening may be involved too. Hope this is innocent. take care xx

if I wanted to be even less helpful I would say I suspect that she has dropped this big stone in the middle of your marriage because she wants to cause unrest between you...... but scratch that if it sounds wrong, it may just be my nasty mind

I am amazed at your control. If Dh knew he had upset me and decided to go to a mate's place rather than come home to sort things out I'd be round there in a flash!

....you poor thing.

I would be SO and upset. Your earlier posts were upset, but I'm glad to see you are now bloody .....just in time for him to get home....from seeing his friends

Even if MIL done this on purpose, it doesn't excuse his behaviour.

Hope you get the truth.

Take care

I can't believe he's off playing call of duty instead of getting his arse home from work to explain why he has lied to you about something like this.

I'd be sorely tempted to drive by his mother's house and see if his car is there. If he can lie so easily, he probbly isn't at his friends, as others have said.

I think MIL has done all this on purpose to create a massive argument. DH has gone round to MIL to get his story straight. MIL must be bloody loving this.

I would be phoning DH and telling him he has 10 minutes to get back home or he could live somewhere else.

Do you think maybe your DH has really gone to see MIL this evening?

DH knows it is more than his life is worth to ever do anything with MIL behind my back but if he did, he'd damn well know his only chance of survival was to scuttle home ASAP and face the music. I feel for you. His not coming straight home shows a lack of respect for you TBH. I know you don't need to hear that, but it does.

MIL is not the problem, neither is the godmother, your DH is.

I would wait until I had dealt with him before even thinking about them. His behaviour is completely disrespectful.

The friends he goes to play call of duty with are his old work mates at the college, they work late of a tursday evening so he goes to see the every thursday to play call of duty (You guessed it, no managers there then) he does it every thursday.

Mil is v controlling and dh sees anything that she does as normal even though any sane person would see her being a mad old bint. Dh just doesn't see it. If I know him as good as I think I do, he would have been steemrollered into this and just not thought about it. Not an excuse though.

Their family dynamic is odd to say the least, but I suppose everyone is different.

Could i just say

CALL him
don't text him

Texting is not suitable in this instance

if he doesn't answer then call the friends house

OMG!

How crass of him to not come straight home

gobsmacked.

x posts

well don't forget, for him is is normal

It is what he has grown up with

I have read through this thread and I am absolutely furious on your behalf.

As he is not there to answer your questions, I would call the mother who is Christening the baby and tell her you know there is a Christening on sunday, and that your dh and dd is invited and not you, and ask if there is anything you have done to upset her, and that you would like to talk about this.

Hi Blu

This DH mentioned call of duty in a text (see post timed 17.01). This man is truly spineless.

A truly awful situation for Thishasupsetme.

He has been very deceitful though. I would be wanting to know why he has gone along with excluding his wife and blatantly lying to her. WTF was he thinking! It would take a lot for me to get over that betrayal personally.

Wish you luck OP.

Attila, i think it's a bit much calling the MIL toxic. THUM has stated a couple of times that it's not usual behaviour for her MIL. She's undoubtably acted in a way that warrants an explanation and apology, but what THUM has said this far doesn't merit the tone you are taking about her. THUM is upset enough already without us stirring her up any further.

Up to you THUM as to whether you contact the godmother, don't let it worry you. Personally I would but there's plenty others that have advised against. I doubt whther it'll make the situation worse if you don't, but there's a risk it will if you do i guess.

Yes, CD is right about caling him.

It is really really outrageous that he has taken this detour. Totally disrespectful to you, knowing how upsetting and 'finding out' would be.

I think I may have mentioned that call of duuty is a game, and the reason I know is my DH used to have it, currently he is playing Tiger Woods golf

Good grief, what a couple of schemers.

I'm sorry, but your husband is being a complete twunt, and as for your MIL... What does he mean 'didn't want you to find out like this'? How exactly did he want you to find out? because you surely would find out, wouldn't you? Would your DD not have said something when she got home, (I presume she doesn't know at the moment?). How old is she?

And as for playing video games when he knows what has happened. I too would be inclined to leave a bag on the step.

(Attila - yes, i am dim and behind the times and did not know cal of duty was a vide game - I thought it meant he had some importan obligation to the freind he visited)