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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

40 yr old bachelor needs some advice!

634 replies

saracenandy · 21/10/2008 15:12

Ladies

Can you help? I seem to have long term problems developing relationships with women. I consider myself attractive, active, fit, successful in sport (ex pro rugby player) and business (MD of my own company) but am increasingly frustrated with women I have relationships with. Most do not last more than 3 months.

After a number of initial successes over the years, the ladies have soon lost interest or they just play extraordinary games. I have Tourette's, epilepsy and echopraxia, and when women discover this it seems to be the catalyst for ending what we have, even after things are going swimmingly. BTW my condition does not involve spontaneous profanities or major fits, and I do not consider myself a liability, just in case you wanted to go there! In most respects I consider myself normal. :-)

I have a very comfortable lifestyle but my generosity is often abused. I do not consider myself needy or emotional. I'm not flashy or advertise my wealth. I'm just a sound guy with lots to offer the right woman, so why is it all so difficult?

For instance, my current girlfriend problem is unusual even by my standards. She is 40 also, photographer, beautiful, very sexy, lots of fun, GSOH, and after 6 months I have fallen in love. Trouble is there is no intimacy between us. Last time we snogged was in May, and we've never slept together. She claims she has old-fashioned values, which translates as "I have to submit to her every whim, pay for everything, be at her beck and call, only go out or see each other on her terms etc, etc". Thing is, I don't succumb to her needs, yet she always keeps bouncing back thinking there's nothing wrong, when I tell her its over.

Is it me, or do women of my age not know the word compromise, and don't want to understand me?

Any thoughts or suggestions appreciated.

OP posts:
MwaHaHaMhamai · 21/10/2008 17:53

I wouldn't mind him dazzling me with his "big Bentley"

AnneOfAvonlea · 21/10/2008 17:56

This is a great thread . Stop telling him to go to other sites everyone.

Right then, after you finish with 'girlfriend' what are you going to do?

Where do you normally meet women? Of the people you have dated, what made you date them? ie, looks, similar interests, jobs etc.

eeewahwoowah · 21/10/2008 17:58

Also, I think you are on a hiding to nothing with the present woman and would draw a line under it if I were you.

zippitippitoes · 21/10/2008 17:59

one thing that definitely isnt showing is in what way you are good company or taking people for what they are

you are not really in my frame of reference tho

i think you need a smythson wife

MwaHaHaMhamai · 21/10/2008 18:02

What's a smythson wife zippi?

zippitippitoes · 21/10/2008 18:05

the kind of person that would fit the ops lifestyle

zippitippitoes · 21/10/2008 18:07

who might write something like this smythson twaddle

and of course not indulge in emails

VinegArghhhWasStabbedInTheTits · 21/10/2008 18:09

Maybe you have got a little dick?

you made me fall asleep earlier, you are a dullard

ahundredtimes · 21/10/2008 18:10

ROFL at Zippi on this thread. Inspired. LOL.

MwaHaHaMhamai · 21/10/2008 18:14

Bleurgh at that shoite. Are there really women like that out there?

witcheseve · 21/10/2008 18:15

His present 'girlfriend' hasn't even bothered to find out if he has a little one so it carn't be that.

You sound like a guy that asks me out. The reason I don't snog him (well I did once but was leathered) is because I don't fancy him at all, he's very ugly.

ivykaty44 · 21/10/2008 18:15

I want a photo then I will know.......

witcheseve · 21/10/2008 18:17

Should add, he's great company and I will go out with him occassionally but keep him at arms length. He is wealthy and likes to flash it but he's like that with his male friends too.

VinegArghhhWasStabbedInTheTits · 21/10/2008 18:22

He hasnt come on here for advice really, he came he to bragg and advertise himself, he hasnt listened to a word any of us have said, he came here hoping to find a date

zippitippitoes · 21/10/2008 18:24

i suggest guardian soulmates

he can join the married mne/only if you live inside the m25 crew on there

it is full of men with heads up their arses

ruddynoraaaaaaggggggghhhhh · 21/10/2008 18:25

i'll date him.

and report back.

it's ok andy, dh won't mind.

zippitippitoes · 21/10/2008 18:26

he is too old and boring for me

eeewahwoowah · 21/10/2008 18:28

Christ on a bike.

ruddynoraaaaaaggggggghhhhh · 21/10/2008 18:31

oh no, i can't be travelling all t'way t'London.

forget it.

Pan · 21/10/2008 18:33

I have come to learn a few things from MN, and one of them is that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, was a keen cyclist.Before bikes were invented, but he has special powers.

and also that saracenandy is a bit of a rugger-bugger and I do suspect that current lady friend is taking you for what you advertise yourself as. Can't blame her. And she probably having fabulous sex with a greengrocer from Luton.

eeewahwoowah · 21/10/2008 18:35

He was a great tap dancer too Pan.

darkpunk · 21/10/2008 18:38

pan..you make me lol...don't ever leave mn.

zippitippitoes · 21/10/2008 18:39

now of course pan isnt too boring for a date lolol

or dadadda naturally

Pan · 21/10/2008 18:40

belive me I've tried, dp.

zippitippitoes · 21/10/2008 18:41

i read that as

believe me ive dried up

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