40 yr old bachelor needs some advice!

[saracenandy]

Ladies

Can you help? I seem to have long term problems developing relationships with women. I consider myself attractive, active, fit, successful in sport (ex pro rugby player) and business (MD of my own company) but am increasingly frustrated with women I have relationships with. Most do not last more than 3 months.

After a number of initial successes over the years, the ladies have soon lost interest or they just play extraordinary games. I have Tourette's, epilepsy and echopraxia, and when women discover this it seems to be the catalyst for ending what we have, even after things are going swimmingly. BTW my condition does not involve spontaneous profanities or major fits, and I do not consider myself a liability, just in case you wanted to go there! In most respects I consider myself normal. :-)

I have a very comfortable lifestyle but my generosity is often abused. I do not consider myself needy or emotional. I'm not flashy or advertise my wealth. I'm just a sound guy with lots to offer the right woman, so why is it all so difficult?

For instance, my current girlfriend problem is unusual even by my standards. She is 40 also, photographer, beautiful, very sexy, lots of fun, GSOH, and after 6 months I have fallen in love. Trouble is there is no intimacy between us. Last time we snogged was in May, and we've never slept together. She claims she has old-fashioned values, which translates as "I have to submit to her every whim, pay for everything, be at her beck and call, only go out or see each other on her terms etc, etc". Thing is, I don't succumb to her needs, yet she always keeps bouncing back thinking there's nothing wrong, when I tell her its over.

Is it me, or do women of my age not know the word compromise, and don't want to understand me?

Any thoughts or suggestions appreciated.

how did you know she had a great time?
did she give you a birthday kiss?

Get orf Mhamai. You need to QUEUE

did you go out ofr your birthday? who paid?

This is pure entertainment. And bugger it, I've got to go home now (will have to catch up later...)

I know another single geezer with a bentley but it is an old one with little wipers on the headlights. He is also rich. He is a knob though

You only asked to go out flight I proposed! Ner ner

a girlfriend cant be havign a great time with her boyfriend if they dont even kiss these days

I do not have a tick list of desirable qualities. I take people at face value.

my ex's problem was that I wasn't slim enough or beautiful enough for him.

The problme is that his previous slim enough, beautiful enough girlfriends were either vacant or boring or vain or too young.

He wanted by brians and sense of humour and their looks.

I did point out to him that this paragon of virtue was likely to have set her sights higher than the likes of an unreliable middle aged bachelor

The gifts don't sound very personal though, if you've been going out for 6 months.

I buy Champagne for friends when I have no idea what to get them!

Are you handy andy?

You're not the geezer I just nearly lamped in the car park are you? Oh no, he was driving a black 'seat'.

I mean if you're going to worry about a car getting damaged you kind of need to get a nice car first.

Kew I'm going to frame your post and cherish it! Classic!

actually I'm not really sure that he wanted brians (though I did have my suspicions).

"a girlfriend cant be havign a great time with her boyfriend if they dont even kiss these days"

Nope, you have to wait until you're married to reach that point.

im not sure its possible to explain to you why yoiu arent making it

but it is up there in flashing lights

it is the love equivalent of the pensioner who never sees an accident

cufflinks are like..'god i don't know, i'll go to a mens shop..a ha..men's gifts..yes, cufflinks..well he wears a suit so yes he'll like them.'

Oh ruddynorahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ruddynorahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I bought my ex cuff links for that very reason.

what did you buy her for her birthday?

Aw, we've scared him/her/it off.
Come back and play andy?

What can you offer a woman that won't just attract gold-diggers?

I don't like the over use of 'ladies' in your posts. Patronising.

Have you tried not telling these women that you are wealthy and successful? And that you have Tourettes, epilepsy and echopraxia? I'd say that there is no need to give away such information (until such a time as you feel that you can trust the person you are with.)

One thing that I would point out is that if they are playing extraordinary games with you, they are still interested!

I buy my brother-in-law cufflinks.

Boyfriedns get pink fluffy handcuffs, choclate body paint or alternatively something they might actually want.

SHE ISN'T YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

a) Go and meet a nice ordinary girl take her on nice ordinary date (walking in Richmond PArk or Chiswick house is nice, don;t spend lots of money but be thoughtful)
b) Get to know her and her you
c) keep doing this until you edcide if you like her and she likes you
d) Repeat until you find the right person.

If she doesn't kiss you every time you meet and after date 3, it isn't a date, its meeting a friend for coffee/lunch/dinner.

Have you tried not telling these women that you are wealthy and successful? And that you have Tourettes, epilepsy and echopraxia? I'd say that there is no need to give away such information (until such a time as you feel that you can trust the person you are with.)

One thing that I would point out is that if they are playing extraordinary games with you, they are still interested!

"I've been told I'm enthusiastic, generous, reliable, spontaneous, romantic, not much phases me, life and soul of the party, glass half full. Great with kids, always up for a good night out. Well respected by my friends. Will put myself out for my friends and family. Calm in a crisis."

Well that sounds great - what's the problem? Please don't say it's the women that are problem. If that's what you really believe then I would suggest that the women you meet or are attracted too are supremely shallow and you really need to broaden your social horizons.

From what you describe of your activities/interests on paper at least you should have plenty of opportunity to meet a range of interesting women. You row, great, I used to row and one thing I remember fondly was the fantastic social life attached to my rowing club. Lots of happy relationships developed there.

Agree with others who have said don't place too much emphasis on your big Bentley and other such symbols of wealth. Keep it simple and modest. Let the woman get to know you for who you are. If you need to dazzle her with your wealth then that suggests to me that you aren't happy with who you are. Is that a possibility?