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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

40 yr old bachelor needs some advice!

634 replies

saracenandy · 21/10/2008 15:12

Ladies

Can you help? I seem to have long term problems developing relationships with women. I consider myself attractive, active, fit, successful in sport (ex pro rugby player) and business (MD of my own company) but am increasingly frustrated with women I have relationships with. Most do not last more than 3 months.

After a number of initial successes over the years, the ladies have soon lost interest or they just play extraordinary games. I have Tourette's, epilepsy and echopraxia, and when women discover this it seems to be the catalyst for ending what we have, even after things are going swimmingly. BTW my condition does not involve spontaneous profanities or major fits, and I do not consider myself a liability, just in case you wanted to go there! In most respects I consider myself normal. :-)

I have a very comfortable lifestyle but my generosity is often abused. I do not consider myself needy or emotional. I'm not flashy or advertise my wealth. I'm just a sound guy with lots to offer the right woman, so why is it all so difficult?

For instance, my current girlfriend problem is unusual even by my standards. She is 40 also, photographer, beautiful, very sexy, lots of fun, GSOH, and after 6 months I have fallen in love. Trouble is there is no intimacy between us. Last time we snogged was in May, and we've never slept together. She claims she has old-fashioned values, which translates as "I have to submit to her every whim, pay for everything, be at her beck and call, only go out or see each other on her terms etc, etc". Thing is, I don't succumb to her needs, yet she always keeps bouncing back thinking there's nothing wrong, when I tell her its over.

Is it me, or do women of my age not know the word compromise, and don't want to understand me?

Any thoughts or suggestions appreciated.

OP posts:
saracenandy · 22/10/2008 15:15

Thanks for making that milestone HeadFairy, very thoughtful.

OP posts:
HeadFairy · 22/10/2008 15:17

Like getting a ton in cricket... or whatever

jofeb04 · 22/10/2008 15:25

This thread has made me lol.

jofeb04 · 22/10/2008 15:26

Opps, still and always will be a Blues supporter, used to be a season ticket holder!

zippitippitoes · 22/10/2008 15:30

ah i have just worked out that his posting name contains a rugby reference

i think it is the fact the thread is about datijng thast it is so popular as to be honest it does have all the ujsual suspects posting lol

RantinEminor · 22/10/2008 15:37

fast work zippi. Good on ya.

zippitippitoes · 22/10/2008 15:39

i was blinded by the headlights of his bentley

littlelapin · 22/10/2008 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kewcumber · 22/10/2008 15:53

Kew, I also love the Scarlets, going to see the last match played in Strady as well!

Spent many many happy hours down at the tanner bank in Stradey - I literally lived down the road in the shadows of the sospans...

I saw Llanelli beat Australia but sadly was just a littel too young to go to the "Llanelli 9 Sealand Newydd 3" match. But I remember ti still - our cat (acquired that week) was called Delme

zippitippitoes · 22/10/2008 15:54

well it did say somewhere in his ad that he played rugby or liked it

Rhubarb · 22/10/2008 15:55

I think my Pot Noodle is repeating on me.

Kathyis6incheshigh · 22/10/2008 16:49

Rhubarb! You've just stomped on my entire family. And they weren't randomly screaming, they were giving you some really good horseracing tips.

EachPeachPearMum · 22/10/2008 17:31

Am I the only one to be slightly suspicious of 'andy'?
Methinks this is not a first time mner....
post of Wed 22-Oct-08 12:22:52 - refers to hundred times as '100x' - no-one else on the thread had done so, so far, yet only a reg would refer to her as such

zippitippitoes · 22/10/2008 17:33

peach tisd verboten to be suspicious of people lol

Flightattendant2 · 22/10/2008 17:50

EachPeach:

By Flightattendant2 on Wed 22-Oct-08 12:15:42
110x I think that's an excellent point, and can be tied in with the one which I made about him seeing the 'women' as his own mother, not as individuals.

Ok so I didn't say 100x but I nearly did

Rose100 · 22/10/2008 17:55

eachpeach. No, I'm wracked with doubts as well. I think naughty Andy may be having a laugh with us Ladies, but it is an entertaining thread to his credit.

zippitippitoes · 22/10/2008 17:57

dont start flight on miss marple stuff please she is learning chilling

lou33 · 22/10/2008 18:00

this is too long to grasp now, can someone give me a quick update?

zippitippitoes · 22/10/2008 18:04

andy dumped his ungirlfriend which she found hystertically funny

he is not going to sell his bentley

he reads those books which tell you how to do stuff and has a respect for quaint motto style advice

he is in therapy

not just as a result of his mn encounter but because of long standing problems

he may be an all round good egg

he is probably not osbourne mandy or rothschild

Flightattendant2 · 22/10/2008 18:07

'Whill, Zippi, I must say it's all virry, virry odd'.

pointygravedogger · 22/10/2008 18:09

lol @ zippi

themildmanneredjanitor · 22/10/2008 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lou33 · 22/10/2008 18:31
zippitippitoes · 22/10/2008 18:38

glad status is quoed lou

lou33 · 22/10/2008 18:39

all is peaceful in the 33 household now thanks to you

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