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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

40 yr old bachelor needs some advice!

634 replies

saracenandy · 21/10/2008 15:12

Ladies

Can you help? I seem to have long term problems developing relationships with women. I consider myself attractive, active, fit, successful in sport (ex pro rugby player) and business (MD of my own company) but am increasingly frustrated with women I have relationships with. Most do not last more than 3 months.

After a number of initial successes over the years, the ladies have soon lost interest or they just play extraordinary games. I have Tourette's, epilepsy and echopraxia, and when women discover this it seems to be the catalyst for ending what we have, even after things are going swimmingly. BTW my condition does not involve spontaneous profanities or major fits, and I do not consider myself a liability, just in case you wanted to go there! In most respects I consider myself normal. :-)

I have a very comfortable lifestyle but my generosity is often abused. I do not consider myself needy or emotional. I'm not flashy or advertise my wealth. I'm just a sound guy with lots to offer the right woman, so why is it all so difficult?

For instance, my current girlfriend problem is unusual even by my standards. She is 40 also, photographer, beautiful, very sexy, lots of fun, GSOH, and after 6 months I have fallen in love. Trouble is there is no intimacy between us. Last time we snogged was in May, and we've never slept together. She claims she has old-fashioned values, which translates as "I have to submit to her every whim, pay for everything, be at her beck and call, only go out or see each other on her terms etc, etc". Thing is, I don't succumb to her needs, yet she always keeps bouncing back thinking there's nothing wrong, when I tell her its over.

Is it me, or do women of my age not know the word compromise, and don't want to understand me?

Any thoughts or suggestions appreciated.

OP posts:
ahundredtimes · 22/10/2008 12:33

[waits]

zippitippitoes · 22/10/2008 12:34

oh as for continuing we are whimsical on mn

like the porridge pot once you have wished it into existence there is no turning it off

or the sorcerers apprentice

mistlethrush · 22/10/2008 12:34

(sorry, that took rather a long time and post had moved on...)

zippitippitoes · 22/10/2008 12:36

anyway good luck i hope you find what you dont know you are looking for

it is possible

ahundredtimes · 22/10/2008 12:36

Yes, what Zip says is true.

You can't make it go away. Then we start asking you to demonstrate some kind of understanding of yourself, and all that has been said.

Zip and I are entertaining trolls we're so bored.

saracenandy · 22/10/2008 12:37

Anyone want to buy a Bentley!

OP posts:
Pan · 22/10/2008 12:39

Nope. I have a MASSIVE cock, so it would be entirely inconsistent for me to own one. Sorry.

ahundredtimes · 22/10/2008 12:39

Is that the extent of what you've learnt from the thread? Hmmm?

zippitippitoes · 22/10/2008 12:39

ill swap for a fiat doblo

there surely cant be much to go wrong with it as it has had a new engine for 3k

zippitippitoes · 22/10/2008 12:40

im not sure what a bentely looks like tbh

will it run on chip oil

saracenandy · 22/10/2008 12:40

Nice photo Flight! You look like a first class gal!

OP posts:
ahundredtimes · 22/10/2008 12:41

See. Lacks insight.

That's your problem.

Jazzicatz · 22/10/2008 12:42

I have to admit to being quite shallow about men and their cars and do find certain types of men and their cars strangely alluring - however not Bentley's

PustuleRots · 22/10/2008 12:42

You don't say what sort of Bentley. Is that because you don't really own one and don't know much about cars? Or because you presume women don't.

ahundredtimes · 22/10/2008 12:42

No, it's because he's not real actually, that's why.

PustuleRots · 22/10/2008 12:43

Actually Zip, it will. It won't do the engine much good, but you will get some mileage from chip oil.

Thefearlessfreak · 22/10/2008 12:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

saracenandy · 22/10/2008 12:43

Zippi, go to www.bentleymotors.com/Corporate/display.aspx?infid=41

for further info.

OP posts:
SylvieSprings · 22/10/2008 12:45

ahundredtimes, it is quite a challenge to keep up with the pace, to read and respond to all the posts. Perhaps Saracenandy will have a chance to read and catch up later?

PustuleRots · 22/10/2008 12:46

Quick Andy, do some googling, find a model.

zippitippitoes · 22/10/2008 12:46

if im up a mountain or on a boat i dont mind my hair blowing around but in a car i hate it

saracenandy · 22/10/2008 12:46

Freak I'll call you baatches from now on, a la Vicky Pollard, if it makes you feel better!

OP posts:
Jazzicatz · 22/10/2008 12:47

Nope does nothing for me

eeewahwoowah · 22/10/2008 12:49

FlightAttendant. Is that really you? You are cute - and I say that objectively as a happily married woman.

SylvieSprings · 22/10/2008 12:50

FA - you do look lovely! Thanks for sharing your photo. Perhaps Saracenandy may consider a return gesture?

Saracenandy - are you seriously planning to sell your car? May I ask why?

Also, are you on medication for your epilepsy? When was the last episode?