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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Are you still madly in love with your DH/DP?

176 replies

sad36 · 06/03/2005 10:03

...or do you just love them dearly? DO you think it is normal to lose those heady rushy feelings and just feel happy, comfortable, settled, or is that not enough in a relationship?

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 09/03/2005 09:46

No. He's alright though. Just about fits the bill!

triceratops · 09/03/2005 09:53

I would take a bullet for him without a second thought (in that unlikely eventuality) but I still don't like to iron his shirts.

dyzzidi · 09/03/2005 09:56

YES been together 10 years and getting married in September. He works away and i still get excited when he is due home.

There is still magic although it is now sometimes coupled with stress, rows etc. But we both still think its worth it!

handlemecarefully · 09/03/2005 10:07

With all of you so ecstatically happy, how come we have such a phenomenol divorce rate?

snafu · 09/03/2005 10:09

are the ones who are really happy the ones with a dh who works away a lot?

seriously though, even for us embittered singles this is a very heartwarming thread...you lucky lot

Expectantmum · 09/03/2005 10:12

Very much so!! We've been together for nearly four years, although we've known each other for about 8 years in total. I first met him when I was with my ex-DH, just about to get married, and although I still got married, somehow I just knew that I would always end with DP. Our relationship just keeps on getting better and better, and yes we argue, but the passion, love, trust and respect seems to continue to grow with every day!! Sorry, I guess you're all now wanting to throw up?????

northerner · 09/03/2005 10:30

Yes I a still madly in love with my dh, bit this has just made me realise that I don't tell him that often enough. We do say I love you to each other every day, but you get caught up in life, work, children, juggling childcare etc and it's so easy to snap at each other and bicker. We have our rows and we sometimes say very hurtful things to each other but the reality is we will always be together. I remember how my tummy would flip when I saw him in those early days, how we'd survive on hardly any sleep and go to work all loved up, and really pine for each other when apart. That doesn't last. It can't. Life takes over and you get back to reality, but you need those feelings to look back on as a foundation as what it was like before 'life' happenned.

So yes, I am still madly in love with him - just the madness is a little different.

We've been together naerly 10 years, married for 6 and a half years.

tamula · 09/03/2005 11:04

My boyfriend is the apple of my eye, never have I found anyone more attractive inside and out. Women come up to him in the street and say he should do modelling!! hahahaha.

He's my darling angel. Of course we sometimes bicker and be silly with each other but we both truly love one another and are fully committed to us.

piffle · 09/03/2005 11:07

No I still watch out the window for him coming home, I cannot sleep when he is away and he just makes me warm inside when I see him, no one can make me smile like he does.

handlemecarefully · 09/03/2005 11:10

Good God, I need to trade mine in I think....

lisalisa · 09/03/2005 11:14

Message withdrawn

handlemecarefully · 09/03/2005 11:18

Yes I second that.

Feel free to chat to me about it Sad. Me and dh are definitely not all that lurrvved up - we are fine really, but can't say I feel like some of the other lucky posters here

Issymum · 10/03/2005 11:01

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

joash · 10/03/2005 11:20

In answer to thread title question - YES!!!!!
Miss him when he's working. Still get excited when he comes to meet me anywhere, etc, etc. (Together for just over 24 years - saddo's or what?)

alicatsg · 10/03/2005 11:54

it depends on the situation but yes I think so - we'll be married 10 years in July, together for 14 years and somedays I'll look at him and just feel so so lucky. That said at 4 this morning on my 8th trip cotside and listening to the snores from my cosy bed.... well it wasn't love I was feeling thats for sure!!

DaddyCool · 10/03/2005 11:58

yes. we do everything together and i look forward to seeing dw after work every day. she's my soul mate and best friend.

nutcracker · 10/03/2005 12:00

Ahhh thats lovely Daddycool

Toothache · 10/03/2005 12:05

Sad36 - No I'm not madly in love with DH.... don't know if I ever was. Our relationship has never been a lustful one. I've had 2 lustful relationships before DH and they didn't work out! This one has.... although we are having problems just now. I love him, but I don't go weak at the knees when I see him.

nutcracker · 10/03/2005 12:07

It is very sobering to me to read so many people are so happy and still in love, am so .

Don't think i ever went weak at the knees over dp. He was just in the right place at thr right time and the rest is history.

Toothache · 10/03/2005 12:10

Nutcracker - Totally relate to that. None of my friends are madly in love with their partners either. Mum isn't really in love with Dad etc etc

In fact, the only place I have ever heard of this phenomenon is from MN'ers!!

skerriesmum · 10/03/2005 12:12

I started out with those feelings of mad love but I don't think they're sustainable. Snap Lonelymum! That said I think you need to have felt them at the start for the relationship to grow into the committed loving stable partnership that I feel we have now...

skerriesmum · 10/03/2005 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

nutcracker · 10/03/2005 12:14

Thats true Toothache, i don't know anyone in RL that has those feeling still after so many years, only Mners.

Ahhh well have lived and learnt now so i ever get another go at it I will be more choosy

Toothache · 10/03/2005 12:16

Really Skerriesmum? I perhaps felt like that about DH for the first few weeks. But then we moved in together and it very quickly became a reality check! Life kicked in and we started building a home together.... I was pregnant 9months after we met. We've been together just over 5 years now.

My lustful relationships where I was so madly in love that it actually hurt, they both ended after only 18mths.

Everyone is different, I don't really believe that you have to have been full of lust for eachother at first for it to form into a lasting relationship!!

Gobbledigook · 10/03/2005 12:17

It's changed but I love him more than anything in the world (except my wee boys of course). Don't get the butterflies or anything - it's just not the same when you live together and have 3 children, mortgages, bills etc as it was when you had noone but yourself to think about and all your salary to spend on whatever you liked! Family life puts a bit of a dampner on spontaneity etc but yes, I'm still 'in love' with my dh but are much more like a little team now rather than a couple of lovesick, rampant puppies!!