Are you still madly in love with your DH/DP?

[sad36]

...or do you just love them dearly? DO you think it is normal to lose those heady rushy feelings and just feel happy, comfortable, settled, or is that not enough in a relationship?

[romilly]

well said 80smum

[Socci]

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[romilly]

p.s. graham greene said a similar thing about love, i cant quote verbatim but its along the lines of - once love has faded with all the jealousies, disappointments and failures that are inevitable, you are left with the simple desire for companionship if you are left with anything at all

[nutcracker]

Thats right Socci it is being happy that matters, and if you don't have that then it makes everything else so much harder.

Dp is satisfied with how our relationship is and would quite happily leave things the way they are because he would rather this than be on his own.

I on the other hand cannot bear the thought of spending the rest of my days with someone i don't love or even like sometimes. I am not happy and haven't been for a long time. I cope with it quite well most of the time, but I know that one day enough will be enough and that will be it.

[Socci]

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[nutcracker]

I have told him before yes, and he even read it on here once, but he seem s to think i don't actually mean it. I think sometimes i probably give mixed messages too, mainly because i'm struggling to keep the peace.

He would be devestated yes, but only i think because he doesn't want to be on his own again.

I probably shouldn't say anymore. Last time i discussed this on mn a few people seemed to be annoyed that i didn't do something about it now.

[Socci]

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[bumptobabies]

so glad im not alone,met dh 4yrs ago but knew each other for 11.i have a 10yr dd and we have an 18mth ds, after a drunken fumble he never left that was 4yrs ago. my previous dh was so passionate and exciting i felt like a woman.dh2 is mechanicl and happy to stay in and watch a film.im bored and cant stop thinking about a guy i met on new year whilst me and dh were out facy dress i was wearing an agent provocater bask and looked hot,nothing happened just really fancied him and dont dh what do i do?

[ponygirl]

Oh Nutcracker. I do worry about you!

[nikcola]

hi nutty havent read all ur posts but dont you love your dp anymore ? (sorry if being nosey)

[bumptobabies]

feel bad now dh walks in with flowers and a card saying sorry for being boring but moneys a bit tight.they dont get it do they you can be poor and still have oomph.how about lets go for a walk or lets go to an exibition,no if anything happens in our house its because ive suggested it.sorry i rant.

[bumptobabies]

nutcracker i completly understand why you dont do anything.its convinient its safe its familare (cant spell) ther are times when its ok and you dont want to upset the kids,and its scary and hard work to start again.i do however believe that we deserve to be fullfilled and we dont have to settle for seconed best.but is there ever mr right ie stable passionate

[BubblesDeVere]

At this minute in time NO and I do not like him either .

Oh how I wish at this minute work would call me in on a long shift till the early hours so I wouldn't have to be in the same room as him.

[littlemissbossy]

Well I love dh today.... cos he's not here
Gone to Twickenham to watch the rugby

[Blossomhill]

Yes I do. I love dh more than I ever have but it has definitely changed, I no longer have butterflies when I see him. I just know that I couldn't live without him and that sums it up I think!

[SeaShells]

Ditto BH, exactly how I feel about DP.

[Blossomhill]

Ah it's nice isn't it Seashells, makes me feel safe and happy knowing I have him around. I think it also helps that he is such a good dad and helps me out in the house. he is definitely a modern man, nothing like my dad!!!

[SeaShells]

I know I'm sooo lucky to have DP, he is an amazing guy, I really should tell him that more often

[mamadadawahwah]

well the ayes have it then, most are still at least "in love" with dh/dp and that is saying something. Or this thread only attracted those who are still in love, i dont know.

Its good to hear.

[Blossomhill]

I feel the same ss. Tonight instead of sitting on here and dh watching telly we are getting a takeaway and are going to sit at the table and actually talk. I think we do take each other for granted too much.

[Blossomhill]

My dh is the only person I am compatible sexually as well, so that helps

[mamadadawahwah]

Blossom, yes he might be but in that regard, I am sure there are men out there who would equally "fit the bill", its just that we cant have sex with them all! Pity

[TwinSetAndPearls]

i was listening to an interview on radio 4 once with OAPs who had been married since their twenties and someone said something that really struck home with me.

You never love someone for every hour of every day but the key to a successful marriage is that there is always one person who still feels the loves and wishes to keep the relationship strong. A marraige fails if you both fall out of love at the same time.

[ggglimpopo]

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