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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Falling really badly for gorgeous total stranger??? *long, sorry *

372 replies

Portmeirion · 13/10/2008 16:35

Namechanger

So the title says it all.

A few weeks ago I was in the park with DS, and there was this chap sitting on the grass with a model plane. DS watches him flying it completely fascinated, and the bloke saw this and then looked up and smiled at me, then he said to DS, Here, do you want a go? And he let DS fly this plane and fetch it back a few times.

After a bit he said he had to go, and stood up, and DS wanted to carry on playing with the plane, and he smiled at me again and said Sorry, is he going to hassle you to buy him one now? Then went off.

Pushed DS on the swings a bit, and then went for a coffee. It was busy and I'm looking around for somewhere to sit, and who do I see...yes, Model Plane Boy there already. DS saw him too and ran over, so I went over to get him back and MPB said we should sit there because he was going and we could have his table and sofa. He looked very pointedly at both my hands, checking for rings, then he asked if he could buy my coffee!!

Did I mention I really fancied him? He isn't my usual type at all, I like beefy rugby player types and he's thin and quite geeky looking but very good looking. Blond with big grey eyes but he has this lovely manner about him - stands up when I come in, listens without interrupting, and never takes his eyes off me. His name is Joel. I even like his name.

I had to get DS to nursery (he does afternoons) so had to go. J is out of work at the moment - he had meningitis and then got something else in hospital, so he lost a lot of weight and then while he was off work they laid him off. He doesn't care because he claimed on his insurance and had a lump sum, but he still gets tired easily. He sort of flops gratefully into chairs and then hardly moves, just lounges around looking chilled.

Anyway I couldn't see him because of work and stuff and also I don't want to see him with DS tagging along, getting attached to someone who might not be sticking around (anyone basically). But last week he rang me and we spent 3 HOURS on the phone! He has an older half-brother - his dad married his mum when she had a boy from a previous relationship so I guess he's not fazed by DS.

We got together yesterday (DS had a party) and had a lovely couple of hours - tea and chat outside on a sunny autumn day. He made a paper aeroplane for me to take home for DS which I thought was sweet. He says the most charming things in a very innocent way. He asked me if the coat I had on was expensive and when I said no he said Well you make it look expensive. He said he let DS play with the plane because then I'd have to talk to him...

He wants to take me out for dinner this Friday but I can't get a babysitter - I don't know many people round here except other mums from nursery who'd be in the same boat. Also I am thinking Wait a minute, he doesn't have a job, I don't know him, I don't know anyone who knows him and although I've got his phone number I don't even know where he lives. Why hasn't he got a GF? He says he broke up with someone last year. All I know is what he's told me.

Basically he is an almost total stranger but I can't stop thinking about him, I feel like we really connected on the phone and I really, really want to sleep with him (haven't had sex for ~2 years and I even told him that...)...I've been having very detailed dirty thoughts about him . But I don't know what to say about Friday, if I say no because of the babysitter, will he not bother again?

So am I being really rash? At times I think maybe that's what he does? Maybe he's a paedo who picks up single mums in parks? Or am I being paranoid?

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 18/10/2008 14:41

i cant say im worried at all

i am anticipating some sort of dramatic denouement

zippitippitoes · 18/10/2008 14:42

op did say too busy to post over the weekend

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 14:42

Nothing, Monkey - just some of us think it's a troll.

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 14:48

By Portmeirion on Thu 16-Oct-08 16:42:46
'It's going to be the interestingly short skirt, black tights & boots, sweater with high neck over underwires. Has to be sweater on top if underwired beneath, as do not want the scaffolding visible. Lets daylight in on the magic. There are ways of displaying your tits without displaying your tits . The boots plus short skirt route offers a bit of leg without showing anything.

I think I will probably go with the hair up suggestion. Maintains a slight formality and makes for a cool distance, and I can always thaw

Babysitter is coming at 6.30 and the table is for 8, so she can help with dinner / bath / story / bed for DS while I get ready. Eye makeup! Yeah I remember that! Christ it's been ages! Hope the hands are steady enough '

Sorry but this post just had me going, 'whatt???'

'lets daylight in on the magic'

ilove · 18/10/2008 14:52

Oh I dunno...my other half has had critical illness cover since his late 20's that will pay out the equivalent to his salary 9as it was then)...well, that's always supposing they will pay out. Insurance companies are crooks on the whole and will do anything to avoid paying out!

zippitippitoes · 18/10/2008 15:01

yes flight that was the point at which i could sit on my hands no longer lol

witcheseve · 18/10/2008 15:21

I've been following the thread and must admit I got the feeling it sounded like a fantasy. Was too polite to post such a cynical thought. Hope not though.

BellaMummy · 18/10/2008 16:16

I've just read the whole thread and it didn't cross my mind that it might not be entirely ringing true, until the murmur started.

Maybe I'm just terribly naive/gullible, but I thought it seemed genuine. And I'm not going to be able to stop myself from watching the thread to see how it went - real or not!

piratecat · 18/10/2008 16:32

oh fgs, i hate this. it's taken ages to get to the top.

bah

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 16:44

I know witcheseve, I didn't really dare before but now she has been absent for a good while, I just felt like I didn't want to see people being strung along - if it is a wind up that is. It was a very hard decision whether to say something or not.

SylvieSprings · 18/10/2008 16:48

"Absent for a good while" - thought the date was Friday 17th, at 8 pm, only yesterday?

Though I must admit, I hope that she's alive and well, not buried under some patio.

wannaBe · 18/10/2008 16:51

but what does it matter whether it's real or not?

It's one thing to not want people to be strung along when it's someone making up a story about dv/babies dying/something that is going to involve a lot of emotional and perhaps financial investment from people, but someone having a potentially real/potentially not real relationship is hardly a big deal is it?

And the fact she hasn't been back doesn't necessarily mean she's a troll does it? Are people not allowed real lives beyond mn?

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 16:53

Sylvie - yes, but she only posted three times yesterday - once to bump it in the morning, once to reply to my question about who she is, and then again at 3.17 to say she was nervous.

That's not really 'here' is it?

I don't know. I apologise in advance if I'm totally wrong, but it's difficult when you suspect people are being made fools of, unless you count romantic fiction as something one's allowed to post disingenuously in aid of on MN.

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 16:55

Wannabe - I think it matters enormously. People like to know if things are real or not and there is emotional investment happening. I don't know what the protocol is really in a case like this, whethert o sit back and watch it unfold or to mention that you have doubts.

Perhaps it doesn't matter. I'm not sure if I have done the right thing.

Dttoydto · 18/10/2008 16:58

Hi - yes it's me (oh - not me as in the OP, but me as in Dottydot! Changed my name in homage to Cod).

Shame if this isn't true - I'm an old romantic at heart.

BellaMummy · 18/10/2008 16:58

She's a single mother who works and is on her own - with not that much support nearby - so no doubt she doesn't get that much pc time. Might explain her not posting today yet. Chances are OP will post after her ds is in bed - really want to hear what happened!!

princessmel · 18/10/2008 16:59

ooh I want to know what happened. I think it's genuine

TheInvisibleManDidIt · 18/10/2008 17:00

oh have been keeping an eye on this all week.

Such a shame if it's not true.

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 17:00

I'm a single mother too and I am here all day but that's because my children are figments of my imagination locked in the cellar. (doing educational stuff, honestly)

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 17:03

It could be true. I am terrified of getting labelled the bad guy now.

I can't for the life of me think who posts like this. And if she hardly posts why would she namechange?

It feels wrong to me but that's possibly not because it is wrong.

Sorry once again if I'm being unfair, just trying to protect people from being fibbed to.

princessmel · 18/10/2008 17:05

I don't think you're being unfair, just saying what you think.

I think this could easily happen. I hope she had a nice time

SylvieSprings · 18/10/2008 17:08

Flightattendant2, not to worry, I know where you are coming from. Portmeirion had been posting quite regularly up till yesterday although she did mention in one of her previous posts that her time online could be limited because her DS could be quite a handful at times.

Let's hope PM's evening romance, if happened, did come to no harm, and she is in no way compromised, bruised or sobbing away in a corner.

wannaBe · 18/10/2008 17:11

if people have an emotional investment in this and it being made up upsets them dreadfully then they really need to get out more imho.

FA tbh I think you want this to be made up, or the guy to be a jerk, because you have related so much of this to your own experiences.

I don't think it's wrong to be skeptacle but I don't think that worrying for people reading this thread is necessary - it's a date with a stranger, at best it's a lovely romantic thing to have happened to someone, at worst it's the plotline for someone's novel. So what.

And just because you don't recognize the writing style doesn't mean it's not a regular. I think that if I get to a point where I can recognize the writing style of every poster who namechanges I shall consider it's time to step away from mn.

BellaMummy · 18/10/2008 17:13

Poor Portmeirion is going to come back and wonder what has happened to her thread.
Please post again Port- we do really want to know how you got on!

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 17:15

Thanks for being kind everyone. I've had a check around, there are a couple of people who rarely post on the single parents boards it might be - so I'm more confused than ever.

Wannabe - you've a right to think that but it isn't true. It makes me sad that you think that. I'd love it if it was true as then I would have hope that it can be a good ending and that there are genuinely nice guys out there, and Christ knows I need hope.

You've got me wrong on that, really. I just don't think it sounds genuine.

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