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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Falling really badly for gorgeous total stranger??? *long, sorry *

372 replies

Portmeirion · 13/10/2008 16:35

Namechanger

So the title says it all.

A few weeks ago I was in the park with DS, and there was this chap sitting on the grass with a model plane. DS watches him flying it completely fascinated, and the bloke saw this and then looked up and smiled at me, then he said to DS, Here, do you want a go? And he let DS fly this plane and fetch it back a few times.

After a bit he said he had to go, and stood up, and DS wanted to carry on playing with the plane, and he smiled at me again and said Sorry, is he going to hassle you to buy him one now? Then went off.

Pushed DS on the swings a bit, and then went for a coffee. It was busy and I'm looking around for somewhere to sit, and who do I see...yes, Model Plane Boy there already. DS saw him too and ran over, so I went over to get him back and MPB said we should sit there because he was going and we could have his table and sofa. He looked very pointedly at both my hands, checking for rings, then he asked if he could buy my coffee!!

Did I mention I really fancied him? He isn't my usual type at all, I like beefy rugby player types and he's thin and quite geeky looking but very good looking. Blond with big grey eyes but he has this lovely manner about him - stands up when I come in, listens without interrupting, and never takes his eyes off me. His name is Joel. I even like his name.

I had to get DS to nursery (he does afternoons) so had to go. J is out of work at the moment - he had meningitis and then got something else in hospital, so he lost a lot of weight and then while he was off work they laid him off. He doesn't care because he claimed on his insurance and had a lump sum, but he still gets tired easily. He sort of flops gratefully into chairs and then hardly moves, just lounges around looking chilled.

Anyway I couldn't see him because of work and stuff and also I don't want to see him with DS tagging along, getting attached to someone who might not be sticking around (anyone basically). But last week he rang me and we spent 3 HOURS on the phone! He has an older half-brother - his dad married his mum when she had a boy from a previous relationship so I guess he's not fazed by DS.

We got together yesterday (DS had a party) and had a lovely couple of hours - tea and chat outside on a sunny autumn day. He made a paper aeroplane for me to take home for DS which I thought was sweet. He says the most charming things in a very innocent way. He asked me if the coat I had on was expensive and when I said no he said Well you make it look expensive. He said he let DS play with the plane because then I'd have to talk to him...

He wants to take me out for dinner this Friday but I can't get a babysitter - I don't know many people round here except other mums from nursery who'd be in the same boat. Also I am thinking Wait a minute, he doesn't have a job, I don't know him, I don't know anyone who knows him and although I've got his phone number I don't even know where he lives. Why hasn't he got a GF? He says he broke up with someone last year. All I know is what he's told me.

Basically he is an almost total stranger but I can't stop thinking about him, I feel like we really connected on the phone and I really, really want to sleep with him (haven't had sex for ~2 years and I even told him that...)...I've been having very detailed dirty thoughts about him . But I don't know what to say about Friday, if I say no because of the babysitter, will he not bother again?

So am I being really rash? At times I think maybe that's what he does? Maybe he's a paedo who picks up single mums in parks? Or am I being paranoid?

OP posts:
Flightattendant2 · 20/10/2008 11:15

No, not really...perhaps that's why.

witcheseve · 20/10/2008 11:17

I agree, FA it was all made up drivel. OK if people wanted to carry on reading it perhaps we should have butted out. If there was any truth in it then the only other explanation is that the OP got very carried away on someone that was a jerk and felt embarrassed so didn't post an update straight away. No need to be embarrassed on an annonymous forum.

Flightattendant2 · 20/10/2008 11:21

Thanks witches.

honestfriend · 20/10/2008 12:12

Portmeirion
If you are genuine, please come back and fill us in...

you spent hours on the phone to this guy before you met- you were even thinking of having his babies!- but since you have met, he seems to have completely turned-tail on you.

Surely he would have had a little think about dating a single mum before he asked you out, phoned you, made contact in the park etc?

why the sudden change of heart?

dittany · 20/10/2008 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shopaholicDIVA · 20/10/2008 22:31

Fa and honestfriend,
can you read all your posts done on this thread. at some point some of them sound really bad.
you two really worked up things too much.
i agree with shiny and wannabe.
i was reading this thread for while, and even Portmeiron is real or not you two spoilt it.
talking about truth,do you want her call you and say who she is and let you meet joel.
chill out relax.
To Portmeirion,
Im sorry your date didnt go as expected. but hey, who knows what ahppens next.
Keep your head up,girl.

Flightattendant2 · 21/10/2008 07:10

You're right. I got carried away and it was pretty mean. I feel ashamed of it now. I am sorry.

There was no need for me/us to get so horrid unless it was certain she wasn't for real. I was feeling bad in myself and I guess I took it out on someone anonymous which wasn't fair.

I really hope she wasn't real because that would exonerate my comments a bit but of course we won't know now.

I'm not sure if HQ would agree to deleting my hurtful posts but it might be worth a try.

I don't know what came over me really.

Flightattendant2 · 21/10/2008 07:12

Btw no, I wouldn't want her to call me and i certainly wouldn't want to meet 'J' as he sounds like a twit. That makes me even more sorry for her if she really didn't make all this up.

I still don't understand the whole set up and it still sounds really dodgy, but there is always a small chance she was genuine and that's why I shouldn't have said the things I did.

ToughDaddy · 21/10/2008 08:15

FA- don't beat yourself up. Many of us had doubts and Saturday night's banter was much fun. I don't think that you are a mean person, just dogged .

Portmeirion - apologies; we didn't mean to be mean but some of us were/are not convinced. Naturally you will tend to get the full spectrum of responses on MN. Clearly, you don't have to prove anything but please understand that either way you have been VERYengaging/entertaining. I hope things work out for you.

LoveBeingAMummy · 21/10/2008 08:55

Hi PM

I'm sorry it all turned out a bit of a let down, did he say why others were saying that and why he was listening? Maybe he was a little hurt you didn't reply to his text and thought you weren't that bothered? Have you heard from him again?

WideWebWitch · 21/10/2008 11:32

Agree with ToughDaddy's post. FA, don't worry about it, you haven't done anything wrong afaics

SunshineSmith · 22/10/2008 23:02

I guess that this was a fake then?

Could be Portmerion the bachelor on the other thread?

uhm uhm

BananaSkin · 23/10/2008 10:18

You might be onto something there Sunshine - I imagine Andypandy might fantasise about 'scent' and 'underwires' whilst driving his bentley!

honestfriend · 23/10/2008 14:04

I reckon it was all a hoax...sad, peeps should get a life.

zippitippitoes · 23/10/2008 14:06

as gubbins goes i quite enjoyed this thread

but maybe that is a commenbt on mn at the mo or my life at the mo lol

SunshineSmith · 23/10/2008 16:19

Mumsnet is a truly weird and wonderful place, innit?

LostHorizon · 23/10/2008 17:20

I've just read the beginning and the end of this (too long), but (if this is real, I've no idea), surely all that's happening is the bloke's saying he's made all the running and she's been keeping her distance. So now, it's her turn to show some interest in him, or he'll find someone else who will.

If only he knew! As Sir Les Patterson would say, "Take her home, son - she's ready! Don't spend any more money on her!"

A single working mother of 38 sounds like a great prospect for a 32 year old. She likes kids, she can definitely have kids, she knows how to look after kids, she'll never show up unexpectedly at his place, she's learnt to be wary of men so she won't gauchely fall in love with him in 10 minutes flat, she's probably both sexually experienced and sex-starved, and he can legitimately leave straight after sex - "Mustn't still be here when little Johnny wakes up, dear". She probably doesn't look any older than he does, and she's got a house!

Sounds terrific! No wonder he's coming on strong!

zippitippitoes · 23/10/2008 17:27

well i did enjoy this thread till i read lost horizons post and then thought oh shucks that is depressing

lou33 · 23/10/2008 19:15

he would have a shock coming to him if he thought that with me! (tho am 42 and not working)

Kally · 23/10/2008 19:16

And anyway, the OP disappeared.. are there a lot of trolls around lately? or is it the breakings of autumn? Dark evenings, economic slump?... Seems to be a lot of very active, 'leading nowhere', 'getting us all wound up' threads about this last week. They are good for a laugh tho ... must admit.

LostHorizon · 24/10/2008 00:35

Kally - I'm not surprised the OP bloody disappeared!

No idea if this was for real, but: that bloke's behaviour sounds plausible to this one.

The checking-for-rings business - he could have easily avoided being seen. He wanted her in no doubt that she was having a mild pass made at her.

Sorry to piss on it for you zippi. The bit about leaving after the shag and her having a house were jokes. Blokes say these things to convince themselves they're not getting emotionally involved. Not really. Like that 10cc song.

A self reliant, together, older SWM could be a seriously attractive prospect to someone who's getting fed up dating 20-somethings. I don't see anything very unlikely in that.

ToughDaddy · 25/10/2008 21:33

It's a week now. Any tears being shed about this classic romance?

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