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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Falling really badly for gorgeous total stranger??? *long, sorry *

372 replies

Portmeirion · 13/10/2008 16:35

Namechanger

So the title says it all.

A few weeks ago I was in the park with DS, and there was this chap sitting on the grass with a model plane. DS watches him flying it completely fascinated, and the bloke saw this and then looked up and smiled at me, then he said to DS, Here, do you want a go? And he let DS fly this plane and fetch it back a few times.

After a bit he said he had to go, and stood up, and DS wanted to carry on playing with the plane, and he smiled at me again and said Sorry, is he going to hassle you to buy him one now? Then went off.

Pushed DS on the swings a bit, and then went for a coffee. It was busy and I'm looking around for somewhere to sit, and who do I see...yes, Model Plane Boy there already. DS saw him too and ran over, so I went over to get him back and MPB said we should sit there because he was going and we could have his table and sofa. He looked very pointedly at both my hands, checking for rings, then he asked if he could buy my coffee!!

Did I mention I really fancied him? He isn't my usual type at all, I like beefy rugby player types and he's thin and quite geeky looking but very good looking. Blond with big grey eyes but he has this lovely manner about him - stands up when I come in, listens without interrupting, and never takes his eyes off me. His name is Joel. I even like his name.

I had to get DS to nursery (he does afternoons) so had to go. J is out of work at the moment - he had meningitis and then got something else in hospital, so he lost a lot of weight and then while he was off work they laid him off. He doesn't care because he claimed on his insurance and had a lump sum, but he still gets tired easily. He sort of flops gratefully into chairs and then hardly moves, just lounges around looking chilled.

Anyway I couldn't see him because of work and stuff and also I don't want to see him with DS tagging along, getting attached to someone who might not be sticking around (anyone basically). But last week he rang me and we spent 3 HOURS on the phone! He has an older half-brother - his dad married his mum when she had a boy from a previous relationship so I guess he's not fazed by DS.

We got together yesterday (DS had a party) and had a lovely couple of hours - tea and chat outside on a sunny autumn day. He made a paper aeroplane for me to take home for DS which I thought was sweet. He says the most charming things in a very innocent way. He asked me if the coat I had on was expensive and when I said no he said Well you make it look expensive. He said he let DS play with the plane because then I'd have to talk to him...

He wants to take me out for dinner this Friday but I can't get a babysitter - I don't know many people round here except other mums from nursery who'd be in the same boat. Also I am thinking Wait a minute, he doesn't have a job, I don't know him, I don't know anyone who knows him and although I've got his phone number I don't even know where he lives. Why hasn't he got a GF? He says he broke up with someone last year. All I know is what he's told me.

Basically he is an almost total stranger but I can't stop thinking about him, I feel like we really connected on the phone and I really, really want to sleep with him (haven't had sex for ~2 years and I even told him that...)...I've been having very detailed dirty thoughts about him . But I don't know what to say about Friday, if I say no because of the babysitter, will he not bother again?

So am I being really rash? At times I think maybe that's what he does? Maybe he's a paedo who picks up single mums in parks? Or am I being paranoid?

OP posts:
MummyTheQueenOfDarkness · 18/10/2008 10:38

well !!!!!

ShinyHappyPurpleSeveredHeads · 18/10/2008 10:54

Ooooh just read thread.. need update!!!

Knax · 18/10/2008 12:02

come on portmeirion, we need an update!!

superloopy · 18/10/2008 12:18

Yeah c'mon I'm waiting up here in Aust to find out how your date went! I need to get to bed!

Dttoydto · 18/10/2008 12:28

Ahem - we're waiting.... have just discovered this thread and need to know what happened.

ShinyHappyPurpleSeveredHeads · 18/10/2008 12:28

DottyDot is that you??!

ShinyHappyPurpleSeveredHeads · 18/10/2008 12:33

Can someone text her?

SylvieSprings · 18/10/2008 12:42

It's past mid-day. What could have happened? A long lie-in?

Don't mean to speculate, so dear Portmeirion, looking at the build-up posts as analogous to the anxiety levels of your MNfamily, please let us know how you are doing.

Hoping that you are alright, hear from you soon?

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 13:52

Nobody can text because no one knows who she is, if she is really a regular.

I don't recognise the posting style.

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 13:53

Am a bit tbh...

?

It's hard to tell.

ilove · 18/10/2008 13:59

I want to know too!

barnsleybelle · 18/10/2008 13:59

She did say that she would update at some point over the weekend as she was busy with dc..

We are all desperate to hear, i can't stop logging on to see if she has posted!!

Are we sad?

eeewahwoowah · 18/10/2008 14:13

No news yet then - damn! I hope it went well PM.

Dioriffic · 18/10/2008 14:15

Message withdrawn

honestfriend · 18/10/2008 14:19

wouldn't we all look silly if this was someone's idea of a game to play on us?

honestfriend · 18/10/2008 14:21

The bit that I found hard to accept was his illness- they have talked so much, I would have thought she would know precisely what it was he had- and I am also surprised that he appears to be on full pay after so long off work, and can therefore afford exotic holidays.

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 14:22

Dioriffic - thank goodness it isn't just me! (oh and some other person further down the thread, who got ignored!)

I will be mortified if she's a regular but I have been a bit suss from the start, as it sounded like someone telling a story, unnatural tone, 'perfect' details etc.

Also she hasn't noticed when people have sounded a little toward her, or replied to those posts.

She won't tell us who she is or make any attempt to prove she is a reg.

The bloke sounds too dodgy for words imho

Some big alarm bells ringing for me. But then I am a cynical old toad

MerkinFitter · 18/10/2008 14:23

He got a big insurance pay-out for having a critical illness

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 14:24

Actually I think she is a bloke.

midnightexpress · 18/10/2008 14:26

Flightattendant you might be right. How many women do you know who wear 'scent'?

But I hope not.

zippitippitoes · 18/10/2008 14:29

i remain deeply cynical

honestfriend · 18/10/2008 14:34

Big pay out for critical illness, eh?
I didn't think insurance worked like that- any insurance bods here? I have looked into that for myself, and have a very low level of cover which would pay towards household help etc if I couldn't work at all. You get a monthly amount, which is not very much unless you have paid a very high premium for years. Certainly not equivalent to your salary.
It is possible, but I have met very few- if any- 31 yr olds who have been savvy enough to take out critical illness cover- and it is not usually done unless you are self-employed.

Too many things that don't quite add up- unless we are wrong- a happy ending would be nice- or even if the OP came back and said it was all a scam.

honestfriend · 18/10/2008 14:36

maybe it's someone who is practising writing a bodice ripper!

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 14:40

It's almost like she (he) is having a conversation with themselves, saying things and then answering them. Either it is a person who is so extremely control freakish that they absolutely must have all bases covered, and have the whole relationship planned out in advance (and gawd help her if he deviates from the expected ideal, as she won't be able to believe it)

or it is someone winding us up. At least it doesn't sound malicious but the whole thing sounds like a cosmic, back breaking fantasy - sadly

I worry for her either way tbh.

Monkeyblue · 18/10/2008 14:40

whats happening????