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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Falling really badly for gorgeous total stranger??? *long, sorry *

372 replies

Portmeirion · 13/10/2008 16:35

Namechanger

So the title says it all.

A few weeks ago I was in the park with DS, and there was this chap sitting on the grass with a model plane. DS watches him flying it completely fascinated, and the bloke saw this and then looked up and smiled at me, then he said to DS, Here, do you want a go? And he let DS fly this plane and fetch it back a few times.

After a bit he said he had to go, and stood up, and DS wanted to carry on playing with the plane, and he smiled at me again and said Sorry, is he going to hassle you to buy him one now? Then went off.

Pushed DS on the swings a bit, and then went for a coffee. It was busy and I'm looking around for somewhere to sit, and who do I see...yes, Model Plane Boy there already. DS saw him too and ran over, so I went over to get him back and MPB said we should sit there because he was going and we could have his table and sofa. He looked very pointedly at both my hands, checking for rings, then he asked if he could buy my coffee!!

Did I mention I really fancied him? He isn't my usual type at all, I like beefy rugby player types and he's thin and quite geeky looking but very good looking. Blond with big grey eyes but he has this lovely manner about him - stands up when I come in, listens without interrupting, and never takes his eyes off me. His name is Joel. I even like his name.

I had to get DS to nursery (he does afternoons) so had to go. J is out of work at the moment - he had meningitis and then got something else in hospital, so he lost a lot of weight and then while he was off work they laid him off. He doesn't care because he claimed on his insurance and had a lump sum, but he still gets tired easily. He sort of flops gratefully into chairs and then hardly moves, just lounges around looking chilled.

Anyway I couldn't see him because of work and stuff and also I don't want to see him with DS tagging along, getting attached to someone who might not be sticking around (anyone basically). But last week he rang me and we spent 3 HOURS on the phone! He has an older half-brother - his dad married his mum when she had a boy from a previous relationship so I guess he's not fazed by DS.

We got together yesterday (DS had a party) and had a lovely couple of hours - tea and chat outside on a sunny autumn day. He made a paper aeroplane for me to take home for DS which I thought was sweet. He says the most charming things in a very innocent way. He asked me if the coat I had on was expensive and when I said no he said Well you make it look expensive. He said he let DS play with the plane because then I'd have to talk to him...

He wants to take me out for dinner this Friday but I can't get a babysitter - I don't know many people round here except other mums from nursery who'd be in the same boat. Also I am thinking Wait a minute, he doesn't have a job, I don't know him, I don't know anyone who knows him and although I've got his phone number I don't even know where he lives. Why hasn't he got a GF? He says he broke up with someone last year. All I know is what he's told me.

Basically he is an almost total stranger but I can't stop thinking about him, I feel like we really connected on the phone and I really, really want to sleep with him (haven't had sex for ~2 years and I even told him that...)...I've been having very detailed dirty thoughts about him . But I don't know what to say about Friday, if I say no because of the babysitter, will he not bother again?

So am I being really rash? At times I think maybe that's what he does? Maybe he's a paedo who picks up single mums in parks? Or am I being paranoid?

OP posts:
Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 17:20

Thinking on't...the reason I am getting so personally involved in trying to find out if it's real isn't what you suggest, but probably because more than a lot of people here I do want to hear happy stories about love going right, and I dare not trust in this one because some of the posts seem odd. I want to believe it very much, and if I do, and it is proved not to be genuine, I will feel awful and quite angry and very much disillusioned. So I suppose I'm making sure first.

Sorry if my particular hang ups are negatively affecting the believers among us. I'll shut up now as I'm not really any wiser than anyone else.

honestfriend · 18/10/2008 17:30

There is something very sad about setting so much store by someone who posts her story on MNs as a means to restore your faith in relationships.
This is a virtual world- everyone is anonymous, and ok, I know some of you know each other in RL, but I bet it's something like 1% of all MNs who post on the boards.
I admit that I too get sucked into threads, but I do have to pinch myself now and then and remind myself to get a REAL life!

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 17:32

You are right. I do have a pretty miserable existence. Thanks for pointing it out...

WideWebWitch · 18/10/2008 17:33

Hmmm, all sounds too good to be true and the stuff about tits sounds like it was written by a man.

BellaMummy · 18/10/2008 17:45

I don't think it reads like a man at all. Especially the stuff about thinking ahead and getting all carried away - ie. already thinking about the prospect of having children with him and that she will be 42 by the time they have been together long enough to be ready! That is all woman, if you ask me. Before I met DH I used to have contemplated weddings and babies with every guy I met before we'd even had a proper 'date'! Seriously. Thank God I calmed down.

Please post Port - dying to know how it went.

Princeonthemove · 18/10/2008 19:19

transvestite.
transsexual.
someone playing.

honestfriend · 18/10/2008 21:23

I could be wrong, but I think this OP is attention-seeking- I can't believe they are soooooo busy with a DC that they cannot get to the pc, especially after all the time he/she gave to this thread last week.
I would not be surprised if they are reading all these posts and just smiling to themselves.
saying in advance that they might not get to the pc seems a bit-pre-determined to me, as a genuine poster would know everyone was waiting for an update- and try their best to reply.
This one seems to want to keep us all on the edge of our seats- don't think it's genuine.

SunshineSmith · 18/10/2008 21:25

Honestfriend- are you reading my mind?

Not a chance this is for real!!

flourybaps · 18/10/2008 21:32

Oh I dont know what to think, I've read every post and got a bit carried away with it I did want it to be true, I agree the op has a unique way with words all the scent and underwires and sunlight on my tits might be a bit much!

No doubt we will see, wonder if she will be back...

honestfriend · 18/10/2008 21:39

You've got me going mow Portmerion or whoever you are- which normal girl w ould ask if "scent" was a bit much for a 1st date, as you did?
Er no....I wear Chanel scent when I ramble in the hills, go to the supermarket, in fact any time..cos I like it on me and i do it for me.

if you are really a guy then you don't know much abut women, and if you are a woman, well,.words fail.

ToughDaddy · 18/10/2008 21:40

like a good movie- you can have whatever ending you want to imagine.

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 21:41

Yes a lot of her posts were in the morning when allegedly her ds wasn't at nursery.

The bumping it yesterday seemed odd. Then not to post much all day, and not to come and update at all, and also saying 'I won't be here much over the weekend' is just all a bit - as someone said - scripted.

Someone mucking about I expect and doubtless getting their kicks from the rapt attention of lots of us. It's pretty sad

It wouldn't be hard to identify a regular from this posting style as it's so distinctive. And if she isn't regular enough to be noticed then I don't see why she had to namechange. It doesn't add up even down to the way she wrote 'namechanger' - if someone was going to make up a load of stuff the 'body language' would be just like this.

Like when you watch someone lying and they look up to the right or touch their nose.

But again, I might we way off and it'd be interesting if she came back and put some effort into convincing us she's truly one of us. I hope she isn't really upset by this speculation if she is real. I kind of think by the way she came across though, she might just take it in her stride and laugh.

I've no intention of upsetting a genuine poster.

zippitippitoes · 18/10/2008 21:43

well they should be at the laughing and kicking autgmn leaves stage

and bursting out laughing for no reason

pity it isnt nearer christmas or they could move on to getting loads of stuff gift wrapped and blazong log fires with chocolate gvateau

Cartoose · 18/10/2008 21:52

Oh, I would love for this to be true. What a pity if it isn't.

ToughDaddy · 18/10/2008 21:54

like in RL, the murderer often hangs around the murder scene! Is there another posting name on this thread that is new or with similar style? How exciting

KnickKnack · 18/10/2008 21:58

Bah! I've just spent ages reading most of 5 pages...and theres no ending

themoon666 · 18/10/2008 21:58

This reminds me of Amanda last Xmas. Didn't that turn out to be some journo writing an article or something?

flourybaps · 18/10/2008 21:59

Toughdaddy is it you? What are your feelings on scent and underwires?

witcheseve · 18/10/2008 22:00

There was one further down by 'handsome stranger' who confirmed that Portmeirion never actually existed. Sinister!

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 22:10

What's that witches? Tell me what you mean, don't get it?

Where's the post by handsome thingy?

witcheseve · 18/10/2008 22:14

Sorry was only joking in answer to toughdaddy!

I will keep watch on this thread, I wonder what she/he was up to. Hope we hear something back.

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 22:16

Oh!

Sorry am thick as f*ck you see

witcheseve · 18/10/2008 22:17

I should have put a on it.

Flightattendant2 · 18/10/2008 22:21

Well actually Princeonthemove who wrote something about transvestites, below, seems to have only posted twice, ever.

His/her other post was here and he seems to know a lot about things most of us don't.

Perhaps reading too much into it but, well.

ToughDaddy · 18/10/2008 22:23

flourybaps-

That would make me the master of the double bluff! I like the sound of that but I am not yet that pathetic.

I have to say that the word underwires has stuck with me but can't claim to have coined it.