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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Falling really badly for gorgeous total stranger??? *long, sorry *

372 replies

Portmeirion · 13/10/2008 16:35

Namechanger

So the title says it all.

A few weeks ago I was in the park with DS, and there was this chap sitting on the grass with a model plane. DS watches him flying it completely fascinated, and the bloke saw this and then looked up and smiled at me, then he said to DS, Here, do you want a go? And he let DS fly this plane and fetch it back a few times.

After a bit he said he had to go, and stood up, and DS wanted to carry on playing with the plane, and he smiled at me again and said Sorry, is he going to hassle you to buy him one now? Then went off.

Pushed DS on the swings a bit, and then went for a coffee. It was busy and I'm looking around for somewhere to sit, and who do I see...yes, Model Plane Boy there already. DS saw him too and ran over, so I went over to get him back and MPB said we should sit there because he was going and we could have his table and sofa. He looked very pointedly at both my hands, checking for rings, then he asked if he could buy my coffee!!

Did I mention I really fancied him? He isn't my usual type at all, I like beefy rugby player types and he's thin and quite geeky looking but very good looking. Blond with big grey eyes but he has this lovely manner about him - stands up when I come in, listens without interrupting, and never takes his eyes off me. His name is Joel. I even like his name.

I had to get DS to nursery (he does afternoons) so had to go. J is out of work at the moment - he had meningitis and then got something else in hospital, so he lost a lot of weight and then while he was off work they laid him off. He doesn't care because he claimed on his insurance and had a lump sum, but he still gets tired easily. He sort of flops gratefully into chairs and then hardly moves, just lounges around looking chilled.

Anyway I couldn't see him because of work and stuff and also I don't want to see him with DS tagging along, getting attached to someone who might not be sticking around (anyone basically). But last week he rang me and we spent 3 HOURS on the phone! He has an older half-brother - his dad married his mum when she had a boy from a previous relationship so I guess he's not fazed by DS.

We got together yesterday (DS had a party) and had a lovely couple of hours - tea and chat outside on a sunny autumn day. He made a paper aeroplane for me to take home for DS which I thought was sweet. He says the most charming things in a very innocent way. He asked me if the coat I had on was expensive and when I said no he said Well you make it look expensive. He said he let DS play with the plane because then I'd have to talk to him...

He wants to take me out for dinner this Friday but I can't get a babysitter - I don't know many people round here except other mums from nursery who'd be in the same boat. Also I am thinking Wait a minute, he doesn't have a job, I don't know him, I don't know anyone who knows him and although I've got his phone number I don't even know where he lives. Why hasn't he got a GF? He says he broke up with someone last year. All I know is what he's told me.

Basically he is an almost total stranger but I can't stop thinking about him, I feel like we really connected on the phone and I really, really want to sleep with him (haven't had sex for ~2 years and I even told him that...)...I've been having very detailed dirty thoughts about him . But I don't know what to say about Friday, if I say no because of the babysitter, will he not bother again?

So am I being really rash? At times I think maybe that's what he does? Maybe he's a paedo who picks up single mums in parks? Or am I being paranoid?

OP posts:
SylvieSprings · 16/10/2008 17:40

All sounding so exciting, i believe many here would be looking forward to your date as much as if it's her own!

I know that you will have such a marvellous time and stay sober to be safe to drive home after the romantic dinner.

One question - what if he comes via a cab or have too much to drink, would you then have to escort him home?

I know it's fairly early or easy to say, but do be careful with any tactics he may have up his sleeves.

Stay focused and be strong!

Have a wonderful time and looking forward to hear the details!

googooeyes · 16/10/2008 17:45

He sounds very sexy, My DP is 8 years younger then me, when I met him he was still a virgin (at 25!!) he had his own flat, run a business and had grey eyes and floppy hair, in a suit he is sex on legs.

Take care and have fun, (then tell us all about it )

Clarity2005 · 16/10/2008 21:58

my DH2B (roll on April when I can shorten that to DH! lol ) is almost 7 years younger then me, something to be said about younger men!

Go, have great time, stay safe , report back lol

Portmeirion · 17/10/2008 10:18

It's D Day....

OP posts:
Flightattendant2 · 17/10/2008 10:26

Are you gonna tell us who you really are now?

Portmeirion · 17/10/2008 10:34

No because my mum reads this stuff and I'm in too deep now!

OP posts:
BlackNarcissus · 17/10/2008 10:35

Is this for real? It all sounds really kind of 'scripted'.

Aldo if it is I think the bloke sounds like a charmer, who clocked that you were kind of up for it and is making the most of your attention.

I might be wrong, hope so.

Flightattendant2 · 17/10/2008 10:36

Oh! If your mum reads it then don't...

barnsleybelle · 17/10/2008 11:17

I think i'm as excited as you are today!!!!

Hope all goes well and you have fun, with maybe a snog and a grope!!

Pennies · 17/10/2008 11:37

Good luck tonight!

eeewahwoowah · 17/10/2008 11:43

Oooooooh Portmeirion. Today's the big day my lovely. Enjoy the whole day won't you, the getting ready, the anticipation and of course the date.

I think you are wise to drive and go home alone tonight - just until you get to know him better. Taking it slowly is the right thing to do for yourself and for your ds IYKWIM.

Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy and then tell us all about it tomorrow .

Knax · 17/10/2008 15:09

OOh, I love this thread too! Looking forward to hearing how it goes. Have fun Portmeirion!

lou33 · 17/10/2008 15:11

good luck and have a good time

Portmeirion · 17/10/2008 15:17

He just rang to say are we still OK for later. Which we are. Bit of chat, then rang off as am at work.

I'll update over the weekend - have DS to amuse, so don't get a lot of PC time.

Thanks to all for the support and advice...I'm nervous actually

OP posts:
cocoleBOO · 17/10/2008 15:23

Hope it all works out

Knax · 17/10/2008 15:24

I'm sure he'd be nervous if he knew how many people are reading about him!!

totalmisfit · 17/10/2008 16:04

i do hope he's genuine and that you have a lovely evening.

i just keep thinking that the illness is a very good way to explain his thin appearance, disconnectedness, lack of work etc all in one go.

and going away alone a lot might mean that he's actually quite happy as a loner, not in the negative sense of the word but just in the sense of someone who prefers his own company. not necessarily 'relationship' material.

I expect, as usual, i'm completely and utterly wrong on both counts. Good luck.

Mammina · 17/10/2008 16:51

oh my god have just skimmed the whole thread, how exciting!! Portmeirion have a fantastic time, can't wait for the update!

IfYouDidntLaughYoudCry · 17/10/2008 17:26

Have a FANTASTIC time! I am so excited for you, can't wait to hear all about it - every little detail

Flightattendant2 · 17/10/2008 17:48

It does read rather like a novel...gripping stuff - are you sure you're not a writer?!!

Flightattendant2 · 17/10/2008 17:50

It does read rather like a novel...gripping stuff - are you sure you're not a writer?!!

Flightattendant2 · 17/10/2008 17:51

oops, ds2 there...

neolara · 17/10/2008 17:52

Have a lovely, lovely time. He sounds rather wonderful!

No5 · 17/10/2008 20:42

good luck, and have nice time.

ButWhyMum · 17/10/2008 23:40

Portmeirion - make sure you keep us updated!