Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do all men cheat even the good ones?

163 replies

London7 · 27/09/2008 09:09

I am horrified to find out that some of our male friends, who I have always looked up to have cheated on their partners. They have admitted it to me and told me that even my husband must be doing it because it is normal for a guy to do that!. Am I being naive or are they right?

OP posts:
Newerversion · 01/08/2018 12:27

I hope there are men who don’t cheat out there but having been married to a cheating scum bucket I know I will never trust another man 100%.

fanfan18 · 01/08/2018 12:39

I find it odd that so many women regard any hint of sexual infidelity as totally awful in a relationship, but will put up with other problems in a relationship.

Absoultely agree. My sister is in an awful relationship, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. She said she'd break it off if he watched porn, let alone actually cheat. He can break her nose, but not watch porn. Weird, huh

Fireandflames666 · 01/08/2018 13:07

All of the men I know have been dodgy or cheated. I would never trust a man again after what I've seen and what I know.

Hard working men with houses, jobs in the emergency services, newborn babies and women they "love" type of guys. I have no hope after this kind of crap.

DiagramFan · 01/08/2018 13:10

For every man that cheats, there's a woman that he's cheating with. Not all of those women are single!

Newerversion · 01/08/2018 13:21

Diagramfan- don’t forget prostitution, a very handy cheating tool.

BeyondRadicalisationPortal · 01/08/2018 13:33

I got all excited then that ScottishMummy was back, but nope - ten year old thread :(

Ha. Started around the same time I first forgave STBXH for cheating (emotional and sexting - I always thought a physical affair was my red line. Turns out ten years of crap was) on me. Hindsight is a fabulous thing Hmm

Horsesforcourses23 · 01/08/2018 15:59

@BeyondRadicalisationPortal - did you stay with him for another 10 years?

twattymctwatterson · 01/08/2018 18:33

I wonder if all of the "my DH would NEVER" ladies on this zombie thread would still say the same. I genuinely hope so but sadly have seen it too many times on here and irl

Newerversion · 01/08/2018 18:48

Well, in 2008 I would have been one of those posters, but I would have been massively wrong. I would have quoted conversations with my h where he spoke about friends who had cheated and judged them. Turns out he was just a cheater in waiting. I think that often cheaters are incredibly good at appearing to be whiter than white.

BeyondRadicalisationPortal · 02/08/2018 08:11

I did, horses. We married when I was pregnant in 2010 and I was positive that would be the end of it. Which it was - for a while.
Well, that I know of, anyway.

Horsesforcourses23 · 02/08/2018 08:46

@BeyondRadicalisationPortal, sorry if I was insensitive asking, I was just wondering. My friend is going through a similar situation and she is staying with her husband, but he has cheated repeatedly and I am a bit worried about her...

MiniTheMinx · 02/08/2018 08:47

It's those that profess too much. They are convincing because they utter the same statement over and over, in an effort to convince themselves and you.

If 20 of us stood in a room having been told someone is cheating, could be one person or could be 19, but at least one person is not. You ask "ok which of you is a cheater" the chorus will be "not me" and all the while as they say it they are looking at you asking "are you cheating" it would breed suspicion. Even if you were told at the outset "only one person is cheating" you'd all be looking at each other, and all be feeling a little anxious that people might think it was you.

The truth is, almost everyone or no one could be cheating, and there is no way of knowing. It requires deception and lies. If it was open and unhidden it's not cheating at all. The cheating stops at the point of its discovery. It simply then becomes a fact that a person 'has' cheated. If you continue to have a relationship with them whilst they have a relationship with another, it's not cheating.

As far as I am aware no man I've been with has cheated on me, but I've not looked for it. DP has said he's never cheated on others. I have a feeling it's the one thing he hasn't been entirely honest about. When he's said this it was in response to a direct question very early in our relationship. He went quiet.

It requires deception, but mostly one has to decieve themselves. That's why you get the classic script when found out.

You can only ever point and say "he cheated" you can't look at someone and say "you're cheating" for all we know everyone else could be at it!

BeyondRadicalisationPortal · 02/08/2018 08:56

It's okay horses, it wasn't insensitive :)

I'd be worried in your place too :(

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread