come and tell me about your extremely unromantic marriage proposals and make me feel better...

[LadySanders]

got my decree absolute in the post on saturday so am finally divorced after waiting 5 years.

in the evening, while stripping wallpaper, dp (with whom i have lovely 7 month old ds2) says:
"so what do you want to do about getting married?"

i say:
"what do you mean?"

he says:
"well i'm not bothered but we can do it if you want to"

i say:
"not if that's your idea of a proposal, no"

he, being a man, of course thinks, hey-ho, lovely, all is well, and carries on happily with the DIY.

i sit there fuming thinking, i didn't even particularly want to get married but now you've brought it up just to tell me you don't really want to marry me, and i feel rejected.

he is lovely by the way.

just not terribly romantic.

evidently.

dp and i have been together 6 years, have 2 kids and a bump and do plan on getting married whenever we can afford to, we sort of reached that decision through discussion as opposed to either party asking the other

i have however informed him that i expect a proper proposal and a ring and if he fecks it up i will say no

dh asked me on the phone and it was like this this:
dh: "uhm.. I want to ask you something that I've only asked two other people before [!! ] - Will you marry me?"

Evidently the 'two other people' had said NO!

I still take the piss over that, 12 years later...

One or other of us, can't remember who, said something like 'I suppose that we ought to get married, now that we are going to have a baby.'

Then a few weeks later, 'We really ought to do something about gettting married. Our families will expect it.'

Then, 'Probably we ought to fix up a wedding soon, before the baby actually arrives.'

And so on. We managed to get our act together when I was 4 months pregnant.

Oh you won't beat mine for romance. No siree.

Been with then BF for over a year. He wants to work overseas. Gets job in Bangkok. My Dad 'forbids' me to go with him as no committment. (Bearing in mind I am from Dublin and had been living in London for 2 years!). So I suggest we get married before we go. Quickie wedding. BF says no. No time. Agrees to get engaged. Keeps putting it off. One Friday night we are at home and subject comes up again. He procrastinates yet again. So I lost my temper and threw my wine glass at the wall. He went to bed in disgust.

Following morning as we are in Brent Cross shopping centre he stops at Ratners (!) and says 'thought you wanted to go in here'. So we went in and I exictedly tried on the ring I had been eyeing up for ages. It was horrible on me. Tried on every ring in the shop and finally picked one. Then he notices the interest free credit offers. Takes calculator and works out if really interest free (accountant!) - it was so signed up for that.

Went to Tescos and then he left me to unload shopping from car as he ran upstairs to watch rugby!

Fast forward 5 years. Back from Bangkok. Have bought house. Next logical step - wedding. He says no. So I was home in Dublin one weekend without him and I got my Dad to bring me to a particular hotel to check it out and I booked the wedding reception! My Dad asked if DF knew and I said he will when I tell him! Went home to DF and told him. He said no. I said OK - we have till next week to tell them yay or nay. Next week comes. He is up a ladder painting. I say that I need to ring hotel and confirm or cancel. He says no. I say 'oh go on, I'll make you a cup of tea'. He says ok.

Sigh. Romantic. I tell you. 13 years now. I would have been sentenced to less for murder.

it was coming up to christmas, he said as we passed a jewellers
"I could get you a ring."

www.youtube.com/watch?v=rz8RmwNhwLE

Does anyone remember this hideous proposal live on gmtv? there was a great thread about it atthe time.

I said something similar to my DH

I called dh, when he was my dp and said "right, I've booked the registry office for 3 weeks time because I'm doing so much driving at the moment and if I have an accident and am on a life support machine you won#'t be able to give them permission to turn it off"

He did ask in a more romantic way about 5 years earlier but that's how we actually arranged it. We invited about 10 people, mostly by text.

Irish bar in Kilburn. With friends who had just got engaged - lots of excitement, tears, phone calls, beautiful engagement ring. DH turned to me and said 'd'you fancy that then?'. 'Yeah. alright' was my sparkling reply

Best best best thing I ever did.

he's aussie and came over here on a working holiday visa. it was running out so he mumbled, 's'pose we'd better get married. i mumbled back, 'yeah, s'pose so, i'll ring my mum' and that was that. married 5 months later, still no angagement ring.

Threadwworm - 4 months pregnant! Were you living in Cranford at the time?

Dp kept asking me but usually in the pub after xxx pints and generally cos he thougth that my mum thought we should. Told him I'd say yes when he asked when sober.

So he met me in the pub one night after a late shift and asked me. He was sober --- I wasn't. Following Sat out shopping he took me to the jewellers and had to remind me of the conversation.....I'd forgotten . That was 5 years ago and still havent planned anything Wedding wise.

I've been proposed to 7 times, will try to remember details:

1st time, presented with ring he'd designed, which was fab, silver with a pearl in it and 'will you marry me' - didn't marry him, too young (16) and we split up when I was 17

2nd time, I was 22, "will you marry me?" -chose a NASTY ring, looking back, had a big engagement party, he was a psycho, didn't marry him, lived with him for a while

3rd, I was 25 ish, no ring, can't remember him asking but thought he was The One and we did agree to get married. He wasn't and he beat me up, didn't marry him.

4th - 27 ish, in Mauritius with Mauritian man, he asked, in bed iirc, no ring, didn't marry him, planned to leave the UK and move to Mauritius to marry him, got back, realised it wasn't a great idea.

5th, 28, boyf who proposed in that hotel in the middle at Lancaster Gate after I gave him an ultimatum (either we're serious and we need to move in together or not in whiuch case let's split up) Realised he wasn't serious when I suggested we talk dates and he said "about 5 years time?" - didn't marry him

6th, ex dh, we had ds, who was 2 months old, he asked me to marry him several times and so we did when ds was 3 months. Ealing registry office, I wore a sari (he is Indian). Lovely bloke but not right for me.

7th, dh#2, he asked me at home, which was Devon, where we lived together, we'd been together a year. Got married years later, we're very happy, it's been nealry 9 years now.

Phew, takes me back!

I went to Argos and asked them what was the cheapest wedding ring they had in my size. The woman behind the counter was extremely about my choice of a £9.99 ring.

When I got divorced a few years ago, after a (mostly) blissfully happy 20 years together, I threw the £9.99 ring into the River at Piercebridge.

I was pregnant with dd, dh said "We have to get married now don't we?"

I said "No".

About 2 weeks later (on a Monday)he called me at work and said "Go to the bank and draw 500 pula on your way home, I've got the forms from the British High Commission and for our special license and we can do it on Thursday"

Me "I thought we weren't getting married"

Him "We are. It will make my visa for UK easier"

Me (grudgingly) "Oh ok but you better not make a big thing out of it"

I think I am the unromantic one really

I'd raised the subject a few times but he'd always said he was happy as he was, but we'd lived together for 13 years and I'd reached 'make or break' point. We were discussing it on a long car journey. Eventually he said 'Well, I suppose I get on OK with your parents'. How romantic. (Not 'Darling, I can't live without you'.)

I got pregnant on the honeymoon. When we told his parents we were expecting, his mum said to me 'I didn't think you two were like that'. So did she fondly think it was a 'no sex' relationship? That he'd married the housekeeper? Bearing in mind this was her first dgch! Contain your excitement then, dear...

That video His face is about as flat as the violins

Oh and while I'm here:

1st at 17 on a railway platform, seconds before I caught the train home, which was more romantic than it sounds and I didn't mind there being no ring as it was a very lovely, unexpected moment. Broke up a few months later but still think of him fondly.

2nd with XP/DSs dad in the conservatory at 24 at make or break time. Again no ring but I don't think either of us really counted it as an engagement anyway which is just as well as again, broke up a few months later.

After all that I said I'd never say yes without a ring as that would be the sign of commitment for me, but actually I don't think I'd mind as long as it was a nice proposal

DH asked me in a crowded (but silent) restaurant - it was his birthday so I'd given him a gift and he said "I've got something for you actually" and plonked a ring box on the table.

Was very embarrassing as everyone was looking and I couldn't have said no if I'd wanted to (luckily I didn't). And he was tipsy/drunk as he'd been out for work drinks (aka Dutch courage) before meeting me.

Good job he'd got a ring as otherwise I'd have said no assuming he was just drunk!

It was my birthday, he hadn't bought me a present or even a card as he'd been (his words) far too busy . We were in the middle of buying a house together and were looking at the forms you have to fill in if you aren't married and he just said "It would be easier if we got married wouldn't it?". He bought me a ring afterwards and I made him get down on one knee to give it to me. He did so incredibly grudgingly.

And that set the tone for our relationship tbh. Oh well.

I have been asked before, by an extremely keen boyfriend, we'd only been together a couple of weeks when he asked. I said no. Went out with him for a further year and a half or so though.

XH used to work in a jewellers and had assembled a small collection of quite cute gold rings and suchlike. So when we'd been together a few weeks he offered me one of these and I said "that looks like an engagement ring". He said "Well, it should keep the wolves off." I went home and told my sister "I seem to have got engaged". She persuaded me it was too early, I went round to his and gave him the ring back, drove away, burst into floods of tears and crashed the car.

A few months later he said "I think we should get a little place [together]". I said "I won't live with you unless we're married". He said "all right then". I more or less begged him to give the ring back to me and he added a necklace to go with it , though he said the whole collection was really mine now.

We lasted 23 years. He got a bit funny about whether I was keeping more than my "fair share" of the jewellery when we split, so I gave him the whole lot back, including anything we'd bought in the interim. Kept the wedding ring though, because it was my mother's.

Mine went like this:

Me "so are we getting married or what?"

DH "'spose so "

Me and Mum - run off quick to the wedding shop, try on all the designer wedding dresses, book wedding in Las Vegas for following April, done and dusted.

My poor DH.

1st - aged 16 was taken for a wlk up to a picturesque reservoir with a boyfriend (only known him for a couple of weeks, no sex or anything) he told me we were going to get married as he 'couldn't fucking live without me' and told me I would have his mum's engagement ring as she didn't wear it anymore after his dad had died through choking on his own vomit in his porchway at hoem after coming home drunk and not being able to get his key in the door!!!! When I politely declined he went mental and threatened to kill himself in the reservoir!!!

2nd - aged 17 I was in the supermarket with my DP who was 23 and he was buying sausages - he said 'do you know how to cook them?' I said 'no I'm not your wife y'know!!
He said 'I'd like you to be...' we bought a ring that weekend...then I lost it months later after taking it off to do some decorating and threw it away with the cut off paper etc We were together for about 2 years but didn't last...

3rd - a friend who became a bit more than that proposed after thinking I might be pregnant...I ddn't want to be with him and he knew I wanted to get back with previous boyfriend but he told me we should do it for the 'baby'...luckily there wasn't one after all...we are still friends...

4th - The father of my eldest dds (before we had them) said 'did XXX ask you to marry him?' (referring to proposer no.2) I said he did. He said'did you love him then?' to which I said I did. To which he got down on one knee and said
'Would you marry me then?'
I asked if it was a real prposal and he said yes...this was repeated when I got pregnant 2 months later but I think I always knew it wouldn't be a wise move. We split after dd2 when she was about 15 months...

4. My now DH asked me on the way to his works christmas party after seeing me in a dress for the first time in years I think I said I didn't really think there was any need to get married we were happy as we were...he seemed slightly miffed

5)Months later after a mammoth afternoon romp I asked him if he meant it and he said yes...I said ask me gaain and he said 'No, I was going to ask you on holiday abroad next month somewhere romantic' I told him after 11 years and three kids I didn't need romantic proposals and he asked again and I accepted. he got me my ring the week after. We got married on 9th Aug this year - best day ever and well worth waiting for!! grin]

doh...just realised that was 6 not 5 (well 5 and a bit I guess)