come and tell me about your extremely unromantic marriage proposals and make me feel better...

[LadySanders]

got my decree absolute in the post on saturday so am finally divorced after waiting 5 years.

in the evening, while stripping wallpaper, dp (with whom i have lovely 7 month old ds2) says:
"so what do you want to do about getting married?"

i say:
"what do you mean?"

he says:
"well i'm not bothered but we can do it if you want to"

i say:
"not if that's your idea of a proposal, no"

he, being a man, of course thinks, hey-ho, lovely, all is well, and carries on happily with the DIY.

i sit there fuming thinking, i didn't even particularly want to get married but now you've brought it up just to tell me you don't really want to marry me, and i feel rejected.

he is lovely by the way.

just not terribly romantic.

evidently.

I have had 5 proposals...but two were from my now DH....

'oh fuck it lets get it over and done with'

Die hard romantic as you can tell

At my parents' house, discussing sharing the rent of a place we were about to move into. I was unemployed at the time and concerned that I wouldn't be drag on him. He said something about it all working out in the long run, then next thing I knew he'd asked me to marry him. No bended knee, no glamorous location, and following a discussion about money. What would I expect? He's an accountant from Yorkshire.

OMG these are hilarious. You are all saints. I'm definitely going to tell my sons (I have 3) that if they ever decide they want to get married to make sure the asking is solemn and romantic.

I haven't had 5, but I've had 4. All shit!

Aged 18: Very keen bf, I encouraged him by saying, "People think I'm not the marrying kind, but I am really." Him: "So will you marry me?" Me: "Yes please." (I'd read that somewhere and thought it sounded good.) Woke up next day in cold sweat of regret.

Aged 26: VERY keen bf, had been making noises about it since our 2nd date. Told me to get all dressed up as we were going out for very speial date. All meaningful. Knew what was coming, didn't want to marry him, said I didn't want a special date. Ended up going to pub, he said what he'd been planning, ended up doing it anyway on a railway platform. I said yes. Hated the ring. Woke up next morning in cold sweat of regret.

Aged 28: Same boyfriend, tried again. Different ring, equally nasty. Said no. Woke up in happy glow of relief

Aged 29: Had been seeing bf for 15 months and no talk of marriage. He'd asked me if I'd move in with him but I was and refused. One night, I got drunk at a party with him. Said, "Oh and as you have NO PLANS to marry me, you can piss off!" Started storming off up road, he called my name, I turned round, he was on one knee in the rain. Said yes.
I told him: "Oh, I've done this loads. You'll wake up tomorrow morning in cold sweat of regret." He didn't, and proposed again in bed.

Am now feeling the cold sweat of regret, 6 years and two DC later...

He bought me the ring, sitting in the jewellers, sadi ' well if i get this we may aws wel get marroed'
Yaayyy!

In Euston station, i was about 12 weeks pg with ds, I said, "Do you fancy getting married?" He said, "Yeah, why not?"

I think some of the ones which were unromantic proposals but the marriages have lasted for years and years are romantic in themselves though. Or perhaps it's just that I can't get my head round being with someone for 20 years!!

We just chatted about it at the pub. No proposal whatsoever. I am a bit sorry that I never got my moment but it's all about the marriage not the romantic one off event I think (I include wedding day in that too).

I asked DH in a Station. Bond Street if I recall correctly. We were smashed (me in particular) and I asked him and he was over the moon and said yes. Then when we got off the train I puked. The next morning I remembered nothing about it until he said 'morning wife to be'. I thought 'Oh crap'.

Anyway that was 8 years and three kids ago so there is something to be said for drunkeness.

lazyhen, see your point, and agree really, i don't want a ring and i don't want a WEDDING, but, though am a bit loath to admit it as sounds needy, i would like him to WANT to marry me...

me: your late home?
him: yes, I got held up getting this...

FFS!! I had pointed out the ring I liked, and we had previously agreed that we would get married (3 years hence, when I would be qualified), but still.

Now separated 6mo but I suppose I at least have a chance of a romantic proposal!

opps - you're

We were on holiday to Italy, staying in a naff resort not far from venice when dh proposed.

We had a day trip to Venice and wandered around, all romantic like and every time we sat down or stopped I thought he might propose . Nothing. I was so disappointed on the boat out of Venice.

2 nights later in a tacky pub in a holiday resort he proposed I told him it was the worst joke he ever played on me. I accepted when he told me it wasn't a joke

I was in pjs and nursing a stonking hangover. He said "we should get married". I puked on the sofa. It was not my finest moment.

If you live with a man, he won't want to marry you - unless he feels you have one foot out the door all the time.

Having said that... He did bring it up. And you did rebuff him!

I am so glad other people have had terrible proposals!!! DH 'proposed' whilst watching telly in my cold, rank, student bedroom with 'what do you think about getting married?' 3 months later he turns up with 3 rings that belonged to his Grandma and said which do you want . He then complained (!!!) that he had to pay to get it adjusted to fit my finger.
Roll on 5 years my older brother proposes to his now DW in front of the Taj Mahal (in India) at dawn (complete with ring). I made lots of noises how well planned and romantic it was - dh said 'oh well we're married now..'. Last year he came home and said he'd been having a chat at work with some bloke and did you know that its tradition to spend a months wages on an engagement ring??' I just said 'Yes' and let my silence speak volumes...

BTW - should say we are still married 9 years on and love him to bits and wouldn't change anything.. (well maybe a wee bit more romance)

RIGHT!

So if it is crap let's see you DO BETTER.

As well as posting your proposals ALSO POST YOUR IDEAL proposal and we can work out a way to knock socks of future Mr Sanders

Okay golf and paella.

Erm, treat him to swish golf weekend, agree to accompany him to try to learn to love golf even though you hate it (big assumptions) and at hole three or four (how long you been together?) plant boxed ring in in hole and when he goes to retreive ball, he spots box and when he turns you are on bended knee saying 'you can't live without his swing'.

i think perhaps i just have to accept that he is, as he puts it "marriage neutral".

now i think of it, he did buy me a beautiful ring at xmas. we'd agreed to buy token gifts, and he got me a v nice pair of trainers, which when i eventually put them on discovered a ring box inside. he possibly spoiled it slightly by saying (accurately) "i didn't get it sized yet because your fingers are so pregnant and fat"

see, if that had been a proposal, it'd have been v touching

me: I s'pose we're going to get married
him: yup let's do it soon

Very sensible imo

lol at slur, your assumptions are correct. he wears checked rupert bear trousers to play golf in, they'd definitely add to the mood.

LS, i'm not getting that he is marriage neutral. I think he sounds very into the idea.

Perhaps he didn't want to propose at Christmas cos you were still legally married?

Perhaps this Saturday's convo was just his way of feeling you out about marrying him? And if so, he will propose romantically because you told him he'd need to!

He will Come Through. This I Believe.

though surely he'll be lord sanders, or doesn't it work that way

not sure either of us proposed.

Both in bed with the flu, once new year;s eve. I think DH said something along the lines of "so, shall we get married then" - I concurred, and then we both agreed that neither of us could be bothered organising a wedding anytime soon. So we didn't mention it, until about two years later when I spotted an engagement ring I really liked in a magazine.

" I really like this ring"

"OK, let's go and have a look after work on Friday"

bought ring.

announced engagement.

hey - we already had a joint mortgage - much more of a commitment IMHO

1st proposal - big leaving party for me leaving for Uni. Very keen bf organised fireworks to "our tune" (his best mate was a pyrotechnician) and then went down on one knee with diamond solitaire. I said no

2nd proposal - on one knee, posh hotel in Kensington after meal and theatre night, diamond solitaire, champagne etc.

3rd proposal - in Cyprus on my birthday - restaurant overlooking the sea - down on one knee - diamond solitaire - yadda yadda yadda

4th proposal - Me washing up at the sink, looking like shite having had hideous morning sickness for months. DP walks in from work- hands me ring in a box. Me: "What's this?" DP "Its a ring" Me: "Errrr. Which finger do I wear it on ?" DP "Dunno - you're the expert" ....