How would you feel if your DP shared a hotel room (twin beds) with a female friend?

[ChiefFairyCakeMaker]

That's it really - DH and I disagree over this, maybe I'm overreacting but I just think it's inappropriate. I'd be interested to know what others think

Even better, give us the hotel address and we will all come and share the room too.
You won't mind, will you?

I trust my DH completely and could never see him having an affair or whatever but if it's a social event then what happens when too much alcohol comes into play and "things just happened"? If anything is going to happen then it will regardless of separate rooms but it would certainly make things easier wouldn't it? Also, why on earth does this woman want to share a room? I would love a night away in a hotel room with a big bubbly bath etc! I would be wary of her tbh.

presumably she could just ask one of the other guys

or are they all too farty with undesirable hygiene and will scratching coin jingling habits

not that it should matter of course as there is nothing in it except twenty quid

the thought of sharing a bathroom with someone else's husband or partner is yeuch.

ChiefFairyCakeMaker, I'm skipping the last page because I got to the drinking coffee on lunchbreak and almost choking when you checked this thread.
It's a "social event". Your DH can afford a sitter and YOU should be sharing that room...and the event.
She should do likewise. Besides that would give you more time to scope out this plotting "new friend" relationship with her own husband. Maybe they are okay with sleeping in the same room with other peoples mates.
I am not and you sound same mind on this. Heh, make sure (if you don't go) that they don't book adjoining rooms.

OMG.
Haven't read all the responses, but OMG that your dh has suggested this would be OK.

ditch the new friend she is a pain in the ass. Its gonna be "oh Im so hurt, poor little me, how could she think that of me, I thought we were friends, she mustn't trust you, I would never do that, shes very jealous, oh and look at me I'm lots of fun fun fun!"

Big alarm going off, tell dh sorry but its a no altogether unless you go, anyhow why would he go and not you? and why would she want to share with him, I have friends from years back who I wouldn't even think of sharing with given all married or partnered off, no no no, she a boiler of bunnies definitely!

Under certain circumstances, I'd be fine with this - very old friend say, shortage of bookable rooms for a wedding that was a long distance away etc.
But in this scenario no, just sounds odd (not predatory odd, just wierd odd - is she very hard up or does she come from a large and very open family?) - I'm in the NO camp!

No way, anyone that says they trust their Dh completely either has a deeply unaatractive DH or is strangely silly. In a hotel room alone, what if she loves him and just gets naked.....bad bad bad.

if I knew the friend then I would not have a problem with it. If I didn't know the friend I might feel a bit uncomfortable but not much more than that. I trust my DP, it's jsut sleeping and separate beds so not a big deal.

"No way, anyone that says they trust their Dh completely either has a deeply unaatractive DH or is strangely silly"

I agree completely Twelvelegs - I tend to think it a little naive and deluded to have 100% unshakeable confidence in your dh's fidelity. I trust mine and he has never given me cause to doubt him - but never say 'never'. As ConstanceWearing said - she would have trusted her XH to her dying breath....

The NO camp is so right. Men and women are different when it comes to relationships.
Why is she offended? Your DH's interests (and money interests) are with you, not her. She and her husband should figure out a way to save the room money or perhaps she shouldn't be going at all?
I would watch them (your DH and her) in the future too.
A social event...too much to drink...you can see what's coming. "Oh Darling, I'm so sorry. It'll never happen again I swear! You were sooo right to begin with."
Perhaps your DH is totally with his head in oblivion with this but she doesn't seem so.
She isn't going to say..oh, your marriage is so solid I bet we could share a room and I couldn't get you to do something you otherwise wouldn't. Care to bet?
Your husband sounds sincere but he isn't dead. "Oh, can you help me with this shower? I don't understand the dial." "Oh, can you hand me a towel? I was in such a hurry I forgot to grab one." "Oh,,,Oh OHHHHHHHH!!!" Yes, that last one was thrown in there for laughter and the absurdity of this situation.

Not bloody likely!

Here's another, "not a chance!" from me. I think this is astonishingly inappropriate. Leaving aside the trust issues, it's just inappropriate. It's one thing to share a room because they were stranded in a snow storm on the way back from an event and this was the only room the hotel had, it's entirely another to choose to do this because it would be "fun". Frankly, neither I nor my DP choose to share a room with friends of the same sex if we can help it. You're adults, not 10 year olds. Sharing rooms with people who aren't your partners is not fun. My sister and i shared on a girls weekend the other day. it was fine, but both of us would have preferred our own rooms. And we're close!

You do seem weirdly calm about this. And you haven't explained the social situation. Is it a work social but for which everyone is paying? If so, I think that's strange too. Going down the pub of a friday and standing a round with work mates is one thing, going away for a weekend on my own dime is entirely another.

Sorry, I was trying to say that DP and I both would prefer not to share with friends of same sex these days. Obviously, in such a situation there's no sexual element but we'd still not like it.

I'd question why DH even suggested it! Something more to this methinks! Wouldn't be happy for DH to go at all now whether sharing with "friend" or not.

BlingLovin - I was chatting to my dh about this. He once had to share a room with a male work colleague and he said that he would much prefer his own room if he had the choice.

Its inappropriate on so many levels.
As someone said - they're adults, adults don't do that.
He's married to you.
She's married - how does her DH feel about it - probably worse than you I expect. If it's a case of finances would it not be better if one of them just didn't go. If they both have to be there then they can have separate rooms and the business can pay.
I can't see any reason where this could be appropriate.
So def NOT!

Yup Palaver, that's how I feel. I would be very very unhappy to share with a female colleague and there would have to be a very good reason before I'd agree.

I shared at a hen's party with a good friend recently, who was pregnant, and we both clearly were just that little bit uncomfortable.

Definitley not! She is a new friend, 'more his friend than yours', sorry but sharing a room will end in (your) tears. I remember a thread last year unfolded gradually, with the OP believing her DH, and ending with the admission of an affair. Not saying it has happened, but even if his intentions are honorable - what is she thinking of??

This has happended to me - Dh shared a double room with a female colleague (won't go into circumstances but they were believeable IYSWIM). I was OK about because I do really trust him &* i know he finds her really annoying. But that probably sounds really naive
However I think op is right to be concerned.

good god no!!!

it's far too easy for stuff to 'just happen' particularly when the man is the one in another relationship and the woman is available.

but then if they are attracted to one another than having separate rooms is no guarantee of stopping anything happening.

sorry to be so negative but that's my two cents