Do you REALLY trust your husband?

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I have followed several very sad threads recently concerning infidelity and the heartache it causes and I have a question for all Mumsnetters. Do you really trust your man, I mean trust to the extent of never checking he is where he says he is, flicking through receipts etc.

Like many women who contribute to this site, my DH frequently works abroad, often with very little notice and would have every opportunity to have an affair/ one night stand. I am not, by nature, a very trusting person even though DH and I have been together about 15 years now and have 3 kids. I admit (though not to DH)to checking mobile phone messages, going through his receipts/ plane tickets/hotel invoices and to asking who was on such and such a conference. I realise this sounds very sad, but when I look around me, so many people seem to be breaking their marriage vows/promises to each other.

Does anyone else not completely trust their man? I should add that I have no evidence that DH has ever been 'physically' unfaithful. I do suspect him of flirtations/closer than I would like frienships with female colleagues (but quite a few years ago).

No. I will never trust any man.

Men and women will cheat given half a chance but men seem more active in searching for these opportunities. They are also less guilt ridden and need less persuasion.

I have been the OM so know women are far from fallible but in general, I would trust a woman far more than I would a man.

As Simon said, many of these "perfect men" are far from it and would love the chance to sleep with someone else. Whether they get the chance/opportunity is something else entirely.

Nothing can be done and I am not a supporter of going through phones etc as that will surely drive you mad. However it is merely to make the point that there is no perfect man.

or woman

I think it is about odds. What are the chances that my husband will have an affair? Minimal.

What are the chances that if I spend my time snipping on my husband that I will end up miserable and he will let fed up and leave? Quite high.

I don't really think about it.
I've never kept tabs on a man.
I've been given no reason to -they're free to do as they please.
If I suspected something I'd check it out to confirm it, but other than that, I don't want to live in a state of distrust.

I have also travelled with work, never entered my head to cheat on my husband.

Snooping not snipping

Entirely agree. Life's too short to spend too much time worrying about it.

I think cheating is more emotional for a woman which makes the thought far more difficult. Blokes are much simpler (if you didn't know that already!) and can sleep with someone without any form of emotional connection.

I will have to take your word on that anyfucker.
Bit defensive vestandknickers. Dont shoot the messenger. Seriously, i think you are missing the point by suggesting i surround myself with a certain type of man. On the stag trip i alluded to, there was all types of men. A couple of out and out bastards for sure, but in the main they were blokes who otherwise - certainly to outsiders - would be considered decent family men. Im not saying your own bloke would fill his boots given the chance. I am just saying that nobody can ever be sure.

I don't trust anyone 100%, not even myself.

"Trust" translates in my head to "Believe that a person will behave exactly as I want them to in any given set of circumstances."

Nah...

I trust my DH right now. Today. I never check up on him. I don't worry about him being unfaithful.

However, i am not naive enough to assume that a person wont ever change though. Relationships need to be nurtured. I like to think that i would notice any decline in our relationship that may lead to unfaithfulness. By either of us.

I would really really hope that he would respect me enough to tell me if he became unhappy enough to consider straying. I would do the same for him.

I trust mine 100%, he was one of my best friends for 30 years plus so I can read him like a book!!
He can't keep a secret from me and he's jumpy if he's trying so I instantly know and he spills good or bad, which is lovely for me except he does nice things for me and I have 'surprises' all the time... trouble is it's never a surprise as he can't contain himself!!

Fluffy, I agree however not sure it is necessarily that simple. Just because a man is happy with his partner does not mean he won't cheat given the opportunity.

Maybe he will be less active in pursuing other women but he may not turn it down if one presented themselves!!

Nothing can be done and you have the right attitude IMO.

I trust my DH as far as anyone can. I've known him for 26 years and have never once thought he has been unfaithful, emotionally or physically.

He's a consultant in an industry which can be pretty mysoginistic. But a lot of his clients are women, as he has a reputation for behaving like a proper humanbeing rather than a pervy twat.

In all honesty the number of lithe young lovelies who are to fling themselves at a slightly podgy 49 year old - or even respond to his advances - is fairly minimal on a population level. The likelihood of one (or more - a man can dream) of turning up at the sort of conferences DP goes to isn't staggeringly high, shall we say...

This thread is from 2003. The post that gave life to a Zombie thread was deleted. I wonder what it said and why MN can't just actually remove it, so they don't revive old threads? I wonder how many of the 2003 MNers still trust their husbands? I bet a few have found out they weren't 100% trustworthy :(

Actually I know a lot of the originals and they're still pretty happily hitched.

You are very bold chip

The first two posters after the OP are friends of mine.

And for the record I don't think everyone's monogamous. It's the tone of 'men are just prowling beasts' that pisses me off.

Yep- been cheated on before but trust dh as he would not get intimate till his decree absolute came through, even though he was long separated. Just told me at the time he wanted to do the right thing. That's how I know he wouldn't cheat.

Yes AF that has been mentioned in the past

I was hoping it would make people realise it was a Zombie Thread.

I would like to know what the deleted post said.

Mother that's great :)

most of us realise it is a Zed Thread but have decided to answer anyway

it's a slow Monday night, mmkay ?

I just watched the first episode of The Walking Dead

Now they are some fucking zombies < phewww >

< looks round nervously >