Do you REALLY trust your husband?

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I have followed several very sad threads recently concerning infidelity and the heartache it causes and I have a question for all Mumsnetters. Do you really trust your man, I mean trust to the extent of never checking he is where he says he is, flicking through receipts etc.

Like many women who contribute to this site, my DH frequently works abroad, often with very little notice and would have every opportunity to have an affair/ one night stand. I am not, by nature, a very trusting person even though DH and I have been together about 15 years now and have 3 kids. I admit (though not to DH)to checking mobile phone messages, going through his receipts/ plane tickets/hotel invoices and to asking who was on such and such a conference. I realise this sounds very sad, but when I look around me, so many people seem to be breaking their marriage vows/promises to each other.

Does anyone else not completely trust their man? I should add that I have no evidence that DH has ever been 'physically' unfaithful. I do suspect him of flirtations/closer than I would like frienships with female colleagues (but quite a few years ago).

My husband doesn't get it when girls hit on him. The most recent incident, he realized it only after a friend explained it to him (this was in a bar). He does go out to strip clubs at times with "the young guys" (ie the younger guys who work for him). The results are always hilarious as he comes home and tells me everything.

It's not me, cheating is just something he would never do to anyone. It's who he is, really.

We've thought of renting the younger boy out to the childless young guys who want to score. ("He's my nephew and I'm helping out my sister." How could a girl resist that? Plus free babysitting for us. Really, we haven't done it. Just a thought.)

Nope not at all. He has proved to be a cheat, he has a problem with drinking and I doubt I know everything. I have pretty much given up checking anymore.

100% trust is a dangerous thing I think. I'm not convinced it is possible or desirable for me to put so much faith in someone.

Although I have never been given any reason not to trust OH, and never checked emails, pockets, FB accounts etc. I don't think getting access would be difficult and my passwords aren't a mystery either.

Difficult question really. MN also makes one a bit suspicious/cynical/paranoid too.

No, I don't think you can ever trust another person 100%, I don't even trust myself 100%!!

Neither of us have cheated ( that I know of). I don't check where he is or go through phones/receipts. Maybe it's having untrustworthy parents that made me this way, or maybe it's because I always thought I would never cheat, and while I haven't I was very tempted and really shocked myself that I'd felt that way.

What's being a Leo got to do with it? I know a married man who is a Leo who had an affair. His wife would never have dreamed he would do it either. I get hit on by married men all the time so I would never trust anyone 100%. Have also been cheated on. People take opportunities when they are presented to them.

Yep 100%. He's stubbornly and unswervingly loyal and also really really lazy - even if he didn't have the loyalty aspect he just couldn't be arsed with the hassle of cheating. He'd rather watch the telly :)

This thread is from 2003 ?

Absolutely. 100%. More than I trust myself.

I did until he was caught lying about stupid little things early on. Lots of little white lies about stupid things. In the back of my mind I thought, if he could lie about the little things that didn't really matter, then he probably would about the big things that did.
Sure enough, in time he admitted to an emotional affair and I strongly suspect it was physical as well....(perfume on suit jacket, very late 'meetings' -till 9pm- lost his wedding ring, unable to contact him on his mobile due to these 'late meetings', emails from her saying 'I can't wait until next time', etc.) I was a numpty, looking back. But my desire to want to believe him was overriding my common sense telling me to get out.

Yes, and I know he has lots of opportunities in his line of work (trips away with other females, staying in hotels etc)

Yes, without question. 18 years in. He's just not that sort of bloke.

Yes, I really do. He's not perfect, but it trust him absolutely completely when it comes to our relationship, money matters, just about anything really (other than how much chocolate he has eaten. In that regard, he will fib quite freely)

Yes... And then i hear of someone else who had an affair and I am back to being insecure again for a week

I recently saw the other side to two male mates of mine. Supposedly very nice guys, SAHDs, very committed to their families. Well after being privy to their conversation, I'm actually put off marriage. Wives just nag, the men hide female acquaintances from them and will go far to do that, at least one sleeps with people outside marriage whenever he can, the other admits to not fancying his wife and describes having kids 'look what mess I'm in' and both would have not got married with a hindsight. None is planning on leaving, which I'd thought would have been logical if not happy. Oh no, why rock the cushy boat. Absolutely no real affection towards their wives but bragged how they know what right things to say to keep 'the wife' sweet.

You will say, oh that's just the two guys, but for months I was convinced they were very nice blokes, in dedicated relationship that love their wives. Well, it was a nasty to shock to find out how they were when only mates are around.

Oh, I'm not saying that the wives nag, just that's what they were saying.

I do trust dh very much despite my xh cheating on me after 18 yrs and 4 dc BUT I agree the threads on here oftenake me wonder if it's possible dh will one day act like the men on those threads.
He said to me the other day that when he met me something switched off in his ability to fancy other women. I thought that was quite sweet!
Having been cheated on, what I will say is that all the checking and snooping in the world wouldn't have stopped him.
So enjoy what you have and don't waste too much time fretting, spend it having fun together instead.

I completely trust him. It wouldn't occur to me to check up on him

The wife that trust implicitly is married to the one that sleeps around and the other guys is not trusted and dies not cheat. Probably cause he's given no opportunities

Zombie thread with advertising to boot - reported.

I trust mine implicitly.

If he were to cheat, then he can fuck off

Having been burned once tho, ivd been carefull to keep my social life,friends and financial independence just in case.
To me that's better than snooping through his phone.

Yes, I completely trust him. He's never given me any reason not to.

Interesting how the type of question you ask affects the kind of answer you get. Here you're asking people still in a relationship whether they trust their partner. So all those of us no longer in a relationship feel as if the question does not apply to us, and you get line after line of "Yes, we have TRUE love" answers.

Ask a different question on the same subject, though, and you are told that you should absolutely never, ever trust anyone, as that would be ridiculously naive and even encourage affairs.

How do people get away with affairs?

Absolutely, I trust my husband implicitly. However, he knows he could do very little with a knife sticking out of his back.!
I read a recent survey ( I think it was conducted by Woman's Aid) they asked to both sexes, why people were unfaithful.They found that men did it mainly because they had the opportunity. They loved their wives but wanted their cake etc. Women did it for emotional comfort.
Mmmm