FAB & GLAM PART 8 - Onwards and Upwards!

[ginnny]

8000 posts - how do we find so much to talk about

Wow, seems to be a philosophical air to the threat atm.

Baffy - I'm sure the positive attitude towards your new life is at odds sometimes with the heartache but if you keep it up, eventually you will feel it in earnest You are right to protect yours and your ds future. I hope you and ds will be very happy in the future Thanks again for all the support you have given me during this thread and my own.

I will be leaving the thread for a while. Not because I am having a crisis, quite the opposite. I feel like I need to take some time out to take stock. So not gone forever, just for a while

Baffy hope the finacial advice has helped - if you feel able let us know

I too hope this thread keeps going - as tannee said it helps with the little things too - like when tanee was decorating.

I would hate to choose my colour scheme without running past you guys first - you have become realy friends - not just my imaginary ones .

But we will keep up on facebook

And i have even less of your numbers in my mobile .

Ladylush, hope to see you on FB if not here, and thanks for your support and advice. One thought I had last night was, when we do have an emergency, we may not get as quick a response on FB as we do here - so my suggestion is, if any of us have a personal crisis - or anything where we'd like the views or support of the teabags (like whether to paint the bedroom dark green ) - we mention it on this thread and then those of us who are still on MN will be alerted that there is something to help with on FB. I only mention that because I don't go on FB regularly - as I STILL can't easily find my way around it - but I usually check up on MN at odd moments during the day (when I'm on my lunchbreak, of course .

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Just bringing this back to the top - just had a lovely lunch with the disappearing dior, tried to fatten her up but failed.

feeling more positive by the day at the moment must be something to do with the lovely sunny weather we are having.

Got a busy few days with relatives here and then off on a trip - just me and dh. so may not be around much.

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Really at missing out on lunch with you two. How's Dior's facial hair problem progressing ?

Thread's gone very quiet, hasn't it! DP and I didn't have our penultimate Relate last night as our counsellor was ill - and she's away next week, so we feel like we're losing momentum. We also feel that Relate may not be the way forward for now, though it's helped bring things into the open and cleared the air a little. DP needs to look at his own issues first - which he is, of course, very reluctant to do (loads of stuff with his bloody father, I could kill the man if he wasn't already dead). He's been great lately, but said yesterday that he still fears that he'll get depressed and angry and fly off the handle as he's done before. So I said yes, but you KNOW now that you do it - so you need to find a way to break the pattern when you feel that negativity building up.

So I hope he'll seek that help - for now, I'm going home to eat his chicken piripiri, then have to be up at 5am to help with the election tomorrow. .

Anyone around to pop on FB atm?

Only have 2 seconds but the appointment with the financial advisor was excellent. Feel a million times better and know what I need to do now.

All is good. Well as good as it can be when you've lost your husband and the future you planned!

I will get onto FB tomorrow after work for a proper catch up xx

MHIS sorry I couldn't FB yesterday - had gone home by the time you posted to eat & go to bed early - and the 5am start still wiped me out. DOn't think I will ever be a good political campaigner. Though when I'd done my delivery, I risked muggers and rapists to go to the park and watch the sun rise over the duckpond. It was so beautiful and peaceful, took some photos and they look like a painting by Corot, though the ducks looked confused to see a human there so early - and sadly, minus bread .

Baffy, glad the appointment went well. It's so sad that the future you thought you had together is not to be, but you seem very strong now - and it's sensible to secure ds's future, whatever else may happen. .

Hello everyone - been away for a bit as I had to spend 5 days in hospital with DS who developed Scalded skin syndrome - which is totally hideous, and was very scary and traumtic, but thankfully he is well on the mend now.

Of course this also meant being in close proximity to H for a long time which was a bit wierd, and I wasn't quite sure how I was supposed to relate/react (or whatever) to him.
And wasn't any better when his girlfriend came to visit either. Though DS was delighted as he thinks she is wonderful.

Still mulling over it all really - about my reactions to some parts, and some of his too.

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hi everyone
I havent posted for ages.
basically I got on with my life - legal advice, financial advice etc - all with xh dilly dallying in the background. and I started dating. Then he said he was back with her and I found out by snooping that apparently they were flat hunting together (a stable relationship that one, 4 months in (2 1/2 where he has been bouncing back and forth with his ex wife) and moving in together. ).
then xh has said he wants to come back, and seems to be properly making an effort.
and now he says he doesnt know if this is what he wants.
I am pretty much ready to chuck in the towel

so, what is this fb group? I could really do with someone to talk to?

Yes where is everybody?

All disppeared to FB??

Hi all sorry no not deserted you - I think some of us who have been struggling for a while with this now have been feeling the need for some time out, to stop rehashing old ground, and try to move on with our lives ..
Afraid I have never been great at advice and am struggling to sort things out once and for all myself - feeling a bit crap tonight tired and premenstrual I think...long day at work, teething baby - times like this I hate being a single parent but then H acts like a prick and am so grateful he doesnt live here any more - ho hum same old - hope everyone is ok ?? xx

just checking in

I am lurking but like the others, just needing some time out. Struggling a lot. Got some big decisions to make in the next week or so.

macd - thinking of you. need to find some of your strength to deal with OW and this child. it's killing me.

catch up properly soon x

Hi - sorry, not posted either. Ratbunny, it sounds like you need to maintain LOTS of distance from him as he's just doing what Baffy's ex did - can't make up his mind, and his behaviour whilst he prevaricates is selfish, cruel and totally inconsiderate to both you AND OW. He is thinking only of himself. Leave him to it.

McD - sorry you are feeling so bad. Hope the teething problems ease off soon.

Baffy - if you need to run any of your big decisions past us, you know where we are

I'm still struggling to shake off this wretched cold - feeling breathless and coughing and generally tired. DP didn't help by leaving for work this morning without saying goodbye. I like to wave him and DD off to school and work each morning, but today I just heard the door shut & saw him pacing off down the road without a backward glance. As usual, I assume it's something me or the cats have done wrong. (one of the cats is now banned to the kitchen at night, because she mews for me outside the bedroom door at first light - this morning she got out when DD got up and was there, mewing, at 7.20 am, which is reasonable to me, but makes DP murderous.)

So hey ho, trying not to take things personally, but I do feel like I'm tiptoeing round him again, trying to please him. I think we still need the final Relate sessions which were postponed last week .

tanne - you are right. he is going to bail out tonight - apparently we 'need to talk'.
I am not doing this again. He has had his chances. Let him set up with a 24 yr old (he dumped her on her birthday! but I am sure she will have him back), with n responsiblities. He will lose out in the long run. Selfish tosser.

not that I'm bitter ;)

H hit me tonight though he says he didnt it was just a brush on the cheek (with the back of his hand) then backed me into a corner and bent my hand to get my phone because I was trying to call police - he says it was ok because I pushed him and because I scream at him in front of kids - he hasnt actually said sorry - HW this is my boundary line

And before anyone panics he is gone and the door bolted on the inside - he has phoned to say he wants to talk and we need to sort things out - he still didnt say sorry

Oh Macd

MCD

Hope you are ok - i am not normally around but i am waiting for a taxi at midnight as h and i going away - just the two of us.

He really has got a lot of anger still inside and it is because things are not going his way.

You really must now live your life and although it will be hard to watch him sink low into his own dispair i dont think he has left you with any other options.

Iwill be back next week and we are on half term - willing to do a meet up in london if you want.

Take care and i will put my mobile on FB so if you want you can contact me.

Stay strong - you are worth so much more than this.

HW

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McD - he said it was ok because you pushed him? It is NEVER ok. NEVER NEVER NEVER. I hope you are getting the divorce under way soon. As Dior said, this relationship is over.

Ratbunny, ditto.

DP admitted last night he was feeling low - his back & neck ache & he isn't sleeping well. Tried to be cheerful, supportive and undemanding but did say that I felt sad not to have been able to see him off in the morning as it sets me up for the day. Poor clingy cat is having to sleep in the kitchen but she'll get used to it...

McD - so sorry for you to have to have gone through that I agree, your relationship really is over now..

Well, xh is back with his ow. She took him back! I had to share what my best mate told me xh had said was the best thing about ow - she doesnt expect anything of him. In fact, once she broke down and he couldnt pick her up and she had to walk 4 miles to get help, and she didnt mind. :O And he told me that he had doubts about her but she proved herself - what by taking you back? I asked. yes, he replied.
Now THAT'S a healthy relationship! lol
Actually, its rather sad isnt it.

I am so much better off with out him. She is welcome to him. And to his family (who have posted all sorts of 'Yay! You are back together' comments on his facebook! They KNOW I can see it).

So divorce papers will be handed in in person tomorrow

Truly, this is onwards and upwards.