FAB & GLAM PART 8 - Onwards and Upwards!

[ginnny]

8000 posts - how do we find so much to talk about

Hope you feel better soon Tanee. Flu jab might be a good idea. I am supposed to have it because of my job, but couldn't have it due to being pregnant. Not sure if it's still available but might look into it. Colds, though not serious, can make you feel terrible and they linger for ages as well. Have a hot toddy

Baffy, how are you?

thanks everyone - we have seen a solicitor today, just to get another view point - everything you have said so far is just about it really - but at least having now shown the letters to a third party i dont feel we are being too emotional - the solicitor was shocked too.

HW was going to suggest a solicitor too. Glad you got a professional opinion. I think in these circumstances you just have to try all the angles so that you know you've given it your best iyswim At least you and dh are working through this together. I bet he really needs your support right now.

Sounds good to have a solicitor's opinion - and the positive is, that this is something that you and DH can pull together on. He must be glad of your support.

I think it may be too late for a flu jab. I shall phone my GP tomorrow. I used to get them after my cancer scare, but got careless last year. Well, I'll try the hot toddy treatment .

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been to see mil today - she is poorly, but it was lovely to see the 'old' her is still there and hopefully there is enough of her fighting spirit to get her through all this. The nurses were lovely and i think they are beginning to get a feel for the situation. They kept popping in to make sure she was happy with us being there - but i know for sure now that she would never keep her son away from her.
She is scared but said that she will make every effort to get to see us more - and she understands that it will be without him in tow too, so that is a good start.
I felt really sad as we left her there - do you know we have never had them for xmas - and that is not because of her it is because of him and the more we look back we see what he has done and deprived us of.
H feels a lot better too and he knows i will support him whatever he wants to do - yes even if he wants her to come and live here. Sure i will be eating those words after a while though .

Dior - you are lovely the way you are and your already do have the perfect figure, please dont let his warped view of what he wants effect you and bring you down. Yesterday i saw one of the mums taking her children to school - she had a figure that is perfect - BUT she is dying of cancer. It really brings it home to you when you see that - anyone seeing her would think wow lucky cow to be able to eat what she wants without putting on an ounce - she would trade places with you in an instant i bet.
We dont see the 'big' dior - we just see the lovely chatty clever at crafts doir, and we are happy you are that way.

BTW for those who have not met her you could miss her in a crowd - she really does not fill the whole room and can easily fit through doors .

Take care of yourself dior - and we will meet in the new year - remember i know where you live too so there will be no excuses.

Dior, 2 stone is masses to lose. Please don't let your dh make you feel defeated. Remember, he has his issues much as you have yours. Don't get drawn into his issues iyswim. He needs to work through whatever it is. I admire Tanee for the way in which she ignores her dp when he is having one of his moments. I am too fiery I'm afraid and I end up confronting dh

HW - glad you and dh were able to see mil again. Also glad she feels she wants to keep the contact going. Hope she is brave enough to stick to that.

Ds has been sick all week with an ear infection. Temperature of 103.6 Hopefully the worst is now over. Still getting positive hpts so HCG obviously not back to zero yet

Any news from Baffy?

HW - are there any gynaes you would recommend (wrt recurrent m/c)? Just wondered if you might know given that you used to be a sonographer.

All quiet here to day - i have lost my voice. I think it is the only time i have ever lost it like this - i can only whisper very quietly, and i am working to day too so not sure how that will work. I have no pain and the 'worst' of my cold has passed - just got be silent for the day.

Not sure how i will let my anger out though if i need to. H has a lot of social events at work today - which i know will mean he will roll in v v late in a horrible state.
Trouble is i feel myself getting all cross about it now.
We have masses to do before xmas and i can already feel myself ready to explode at him if he has to spend the whole of tommorow in bed. I already feel i have done the lions share - he is a typical man and not done a single bit of shopping - yet when i suggest that maybe we should not give each other gifts he becomes a child. But i just dont want more purfume bought on his last day on the way home from work.

I have a fear tonight that he will get a late train home, miss his stop and end up at the end of the line - and already i feel i will explode and say it is the end of the line too.
Still i suppose i need to give the benifit of the doubt - he has promised he wont do that .

Anyway have a great day and weekend everyone - i am not sure how much i will get on here until after xmas - we are going away and will not be back until early jan.

Lush - i will ask about gyane - as it was a long time ago, are you prepared to go private at all?

Oh dear HW - I know that feeling . Dh has a habit of rolling in very late too. Since the affair I find I get very suspicious if he is late home Though to be fair, most of the nights he's been out he has been home at a decent hour. Our crisis happened a lot more recently than yours though........the consideration will wear off no doubt.
Yes am prepared to go private if the recommendation a good one

i know it is all normal - and in fact it is not the going out which is the problem - it is the fact that to him it will just be a minor thing but to me if he would rather get off his face and 'forget' that he has a family at home it is a big thing.

I know it is the thinking about it too that makes it much worse in my mind.

It is also a pretty bad time of year too with too many memories to add to the mix.

Well at least it gives me a bit of time to hopefully get some of the wrapping done without him around.

Think of me at around midnight which is when i shall be fretting the most if he is not home by then - but he has promised me he will be. so i will trust him and try not to go into panic before then.

Was is this time of year that it all came to light? It was February for me. Dreading that time. It was the day after Valentines Day!
I don't think they want to get pissed to forget about their family - but they like the herd thing (is it other men he'll be out with?). H sometimes sends me soppy texts when he's out. I go as I think he does it to ease his guilt. Mind you, on that score, do they actually feel guilt? Not much I reckon Pseudo guilt and tactical game playing more like.

How are you Dior?

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Dior. Are you going to talk to h again? Have you ever tried other ways of communicating e.g. email or letter? I know it sounds strange but it works for h and I sometimes because he's not good at the heart to hearts.

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pmsl - good luck with that Actually he is the one who should be thinking himself lucky. There aren't many women I know right now who would like to jump their dh Unless of course, it's to jump them in an alley wielding a blunt instrument!

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Just a really quick catch up - Dior I'm so glad you had a good night away

HW - good news about MIL. I hope everything is ok with H and you have a lovely Christmas break. FWIW I'm sure he doesn't mean to go out and forget about the family. If he's anything like me, no matter how old (and wise?!) we get we just never seem to learn when enough's enough alochol wise!! I hope everything is ok?

LL how are you doing?

I have my 12 week scan and booking appointment tomorrow (although slightly early at 10 and a half weeks). Very excited but very scared too. Will let you know how it goes.

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Dior - fantastic Glad you had a great night away.

Baffy - good luck tomorrow Hope all goes well. I'm not bad. Was feeling bit empty and hollow and not at all Christmassy but we bought a tree this weekend and decorated it, put lights up etc (tasteful ones of course ) and we have started using our real fire. Feel almost festive now How are you feeling? How is ds? My ds was really ill this week with a raging temperature but is fine now.

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Hi all

H was good at his party - although he was very drunk he did manage to come away when he said and get home in one piece - although i had to phone him several times on the train to make sure he stayed awake (his instrutions). He has been wonderful this weekend too and i am on a bit of a high again.

Sounds as if you are too dior - long may it last.

Good luck Baffy for today - hope all is well, whats up with h at the moment is he still begging??

Hotel (and bed) sounds lovely Dior
HW - glad h being loving and trustworthy Alcohol fumes must have worn off by now?
Baffy - how did you get on today? Hope all went well.

He is continually topping his alcohol levels up at the moment though - something to do with him mentally already left work.
It will all have to change before the new year and the new job.

HW and Dior - so pleased things are good

LL I'm glad you're ok and feeling festive. My ds has been really poorly too. Cough, cold and horrendous tempertaure that the medicine doesn't even touch I was an hour late for work this morning as he was just clinging to me and crying. I knew that feeling so well - when you're just ill and want your mum I feel awful now.

Worst thing is, I think I'm getting it too. Definitely coming down with something.

Anyway - scan went well. I think! Sonographer was very matter of fact and very (very!) quick. Just confirmed dates and said she could see heartbeat but couldn't confirm much more than that at this stage.

I remember my 12 week scan last time and it was much more friendly and informative. Felt a bit flat after it. But lo is ok which is the main thing.

Although I have to say I am horrendously paranoid still about something going wrong. I'm really sick. But every time that eases I wonder whether something is up...

I really need to tell work so that people who are relying on me can understand why I'm such a bloody mess at the moment! But do you think it's still too early days? I don't want to tempt fate