FAB & GLAM PART 8 - Onwards and Upwards!

[ginnny]

8000 posts - how do we find so much to talk about

Bloody hell Baffy? Could you be pregnant? Stupid question Do a test because worrying about it will delay your period further (assuming you're not pregnant).

ignore the first question mark.

Message withdrawn

Baffy - do you think your h changed so much or do you think he is showing a part of his character that was always there? I'm just interested because when h had an affair initially I didn't recognise the person he became. However, when I started to think about it more objectively I realised that there were traits there that could conceivably lead to an affair - secrecy, not wanting to talk through feelings, a robust outer persona yet a fragile inner being, impressional personality, ego issues. Whilst these aspects of his personality were somewhat in balance all was fine, but once tipped the danger was there. What do the rest of you think?

Good luck Baffy. You are so right about saying but not doing. You have got to feel right - you have tried so hard up til now.

I feel sick and lightheaded when Im stressed - hopefully that is all it is for you!

ladylush - yes i do agree with you. Whilst it appears they are a different person i think that without the pressures of the main relaionship other sides to them do emerge.

I think too that if it is to work they have to not only acknowlege that side of themselves but do something to 'correct' it iyswim.

I know i was a bit of a bitch to my h before his affair - this is not a side of myself i would like to be remembered for and although i think i can justify it to myself at times i have also recognised that it is part of me and so i now try not to allow that part of me to ruin my relationship with h.

I think we all have different 'sides' to us but it is how we choose to live with these that makes us the person we are surely.

I am also interested in whether we are judged by a few of our actions or whether by the whole.
If i were to murder someone - would i always be HW the murderer? or is that just a part of me that was present for those few seconds that i murdered (say my straying h.?
Somehow i would have to learn to live with myself.

So even though our h have committed the crime of adultery - are they forever to be called cheaters?
I am hoping that my h has learned that he can become that person again but has now choosen not to ever again.

Just a thought to keep you going for the weekend.

Wow, lots of thoughts here, LL - interesting thoughts for sure and I'll come back and think about that properly as soon as I can.

H did finally fill in, and sign, the divorce papers yesterday. I collected them from him and he literally had no emotion at all. Nothing. Which just sent me absolutely mad! We had an explosive row (1st time ever) - lots was said that needed to be said. Followed by lots of tears on both sides. And finally, a definite acceptance that this marriage is so smashed beyond belief that I just cannot pick up the pieces without his total and utter support. Which he said he cannot give.
We parted on really calm, actually really amicable terms. Relief on both sides maybe?

I got home last night and couldn't shake the need to do the test.

Positive.

I didn't have to even wait to read the result. It was clear straight away.

Another F&G baby on the way.

No idea what to say further to that though. Wish me strength...

Oh god
Well I for one can say nothing except congrats and are you me ????
A baby is only a good thing Will be a balm for your tortured soul like my precious Lily
Have you told H???

{{{{{{{{{{{{Baffy}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Baffy is it too soon for that ? Wow you and McD are like shadows! You told him yet ?
Ladyl how you doing ?

Baffy - have been lurking in the last week or so and wishing you strength silently but couldn't read this and not post my lovely. You know where I am if you need me. The news makes me but [happy] at the same time so I can't imagine the conflicting emotions you must be feeling....

Thinking of you xx

Macd hows Lily ?
She nearly one now ? If anything like my Lily a strong little one who knows her own mind! Martha is really turning into a little girl now she is sooo cute and loves ds def the baby of our lot and spoilt with it!

Hi Lilyloo - weird to think that you and MacD were the first to have glam n fab babies! Hope you're both ok xx Where's that "disappearing Dior" gone? Hi to Ginny, HW, TFM, Tannee et al

CnC hey only frequent here now! How you ?
Gosh yes the first f and g babies now nearly toddlers!

Hi Lily and Cash
Ohh will Baffys baby get us all out if the woodwork

OMG at nearly toddlers!!! Lurking this week for the first time in months. As others have said on this thread, have found it hard re-visiting old feelings sometimes and felt the need to take a step back from it all. Am doing okay despite a crappy year from hell! DH's company just got made bankrupt so he's busily looking for work - excellent timing considering that DC2 is due in three weeks time

How are things with your lo? I remember that your DH was having a bad time earlier this week job-wise - hope things have picked up for him now. That interest rate cut must be good news considering his area of expertise...

Hi MacD!! How lovely to "see" you! Hope things are okay with you now. Is H behaving himself or does he need a special CnC arse-kicking ??

CnC wow 3 weeks to go! How are you ? Bugger about dh job! Remember things were stressful anyway with money did you manage to get it sorted with family help ? Do you know what this lo will be ?
Yeah dp working at rbos and all seems stablish at the mo! Although i decided to not go back to work so still really tight but hey ho! Martha is lovely and loving being at home with her!

I'm okay thanks Lilyloo! Stressed a bit but I know DH will come through money wise even if he has to go back to doing crappy jobs for a while. The good thing about outside crises is that they bring you together, eh?! Family are being useless but luckily have lots of great friends who are all lined up to have DD/drop me to hospital/generally pamper me so am trying not to be bothered!

Have no idea what I'm having! Everyone's got an opinion though based on my bump size, bottom size, way I walk, etc. etc. Will just have to wait and see I guess!

How lovely that you're at home enjoying Martha - that'll be me soon. Just one more week of work to go...yippee! (Shame we'll be skint!)

CnC we more skint than we ever been but someitmes you have to sit back and enjoy things regardless of anything other than sheer pleasure and i make sure i overdose on that everyday with Martha!
If we don't spk before hope it all goes well and lo is healthy and you are happy money comes way after!!

3 weeks that went quick
Lily is a little charmer and fab
And am very proud to say am still BF bedtime and morning
She will be one on 28th Dec

You're so right Lilyloo - guess that's why I'm much calmer than I would be ordinarily. Helps to get your priorities straight I guess. Speak to you again soon I hope - will have to start going back on FB to catch up with the whole gang at this rate! Take care xx

McD they really do pull the heart strings don't they!
Well done on bf , we still bf here too but she not sleeping Martha 1 on the 18th Jan 5 days after Lily!

Wow at the BF mac - bet you're so proud of yourself! Was completely crapola with BF with DD so really am hoping I get the hang of it with this one. Have all the numbers written down for after the birth. Will be hounding you for tips y'know! Can't believe she's nearly one - have you got piccies on FB? I might try to brave going back there just so I can get a squiz!

CnC i don't really do fb either just tend to pop on here from time to time but do miss the chat we had!