FAB & GLAM PART 8 - Onwards and Upwards!

[ginnny]

8000 posts - how do we find so much to talk about

ok then lets have a therapy day at lakeside/ikea.
Only to lift your mood dior. And if you want the 'talking therapy' i will have to work out my hourly rate!!!!
What are the best days?
I am working fridays and some odd days too.

oh god, candles & photo frames. Tell me about it! DD says we have enough candles to light up North London - she's awaiting the night when we burn the house down. Saves on leccy and keeps the room warm, though!

Having said that, we used to buy packs of the little plain wooden postcard sized frames and get the kids to decorate them for school fairs.

I can do Thursdays, but I am due some time off so could make any day you like.

We too have lots of candles - not sure it is actually cheaper though .

And those lovely wooden frams i have a few that the children made for me but they have a long way to go to beat the 'gold spray painted pasta frame' now covered in dust.

Already looking forward to christmas as my lo has just started school i will no doubt get the calender.
She is reading really well already and is amazed that i seem to already 'know' the story. It is 4th time of hearing 'look, look here, here it is, can i help?' and she says 'mummy how can you read it without looking.

Are you feeling better yet dior just with the prospect of our trip?

It's not cheaper - but candlelight is so flattering to a lady's complexion - especially those of us who are in our prime !

Thanks Dior - I knew I could count on you
I'd love to join you and Lakeside is only about 45 mins drive from here. Monday is my day off so that's obviously easier for me, but I can easily swap it so let me know when you decide to go.
Only thing is you will have to STOP me from buying anything. I'm broke at the moment and trying to clear my credit card off before the big Christmas spend up!!
I do love Ikea meatballs though ... mmmmm!!

Message withdrawn

Ooh ooh competitive mother alert.......my ds doing great with reading too HW. I'm quite sure you can't be as proud as me

Thanks Tanee and Baffy

lush - sorry but you will lose with the competitive mother race.

My dd who is not even 5 yet has her first cross country race next week at school. And it is not just me her big bother who is nearly 16 and a good runner is already giving her tips on how to win.
I was a keen runner in my youth too so i do tend to be out there cheering very loudly. Mind you rugby is a different story - i cant watch and want to shout to my sons to 'run away from the ball' to save injury

I think more than anything i am still amazed just how quickly they all learn and even fourth time around i swell with pride - you would have thought i have done it all before.

Mondays sound like a good day for that trip i will be able to pick you up on route dior. Lets email and get a date fixed.

I can take a Monday off girls, so email or text me a date, Dior.

And do you know, I have NEVER been to Lakeside!!! But like Ginnny, you must stop me spending as I am being a complete card tart at the moment to pay off debts and I have a small but unacceptable overdraft.

By the way, am I the only person who didn't stay up all night to watch the USA election? I am all alone in the office this morning and even the phones aren't ringing!

Bliss !

Great - let's do a Monday then. I can do any Monday except 1st Dec.
Tannee, lol at card tart, that's me!! I can't believe you've never been to Lakeside . I'm more of a Bluewater girl nowadays, but I like the cinema complex and all the restaurants at Lakeside, and of course Ikea and Costco!

Not sure how much time we will get at lakeside - especially dior and i. I have never been to bluewater so that may have to be a new-year sales trip.

Message withdrawn

Dior i have done it within school hours before - but i am always a bit nervous and make sure there is a standby in case of heavy traffic.

I would hope to be back at mine by 5 anyway but will make sure someone has dd for me too.

Any other takers for ikea meatballs will be welcome.

I want to come too

HW your advice has been amazing and I have done what needed to be done. So so fed up of his weak excuses - all he has to do now is sign the papers and I'm willing to really go through with this divorce.

Never what I wanted - but surely better than being half-loved by a man who doesn't appreciate anything about you. I'd rather be alone

macd how are you doing?

has anyone heard from PC, TFM or lilybubble?

Baffy - you will never be alone - we are all here for you.

Divorce is just another piece of paper and i know it is not what you ever wanted but as we all know you do NEED 2 people to make a marriage work.

You will be ok - just ask away for our help.

And of course if you want to come here on a sunday i will happily drive you to lakeside with us - and you will have to have the rest of the week off with a sore throat anyway if you start talking with me and doir .

Also baffy - dont worry you will still be the amazing person you are now even without h - it is not going to change you into some evil thing that everyone will avoid. And you can still have the relationship you have with him now if you want to - there is nothing to say you cant you know - its just that you will be free of him dragging you down and no fincial commitments to him either.
You go girl!!

I dont think anyone can doubt how hard you have tried Baffy and (obviously) if you have two parents pulling their weight togther then its easier than being apart...but long term your husbands behaviour will really damage your self esteem - you deserve someone loves you totally.

Hi everyone...off to nibble a bit more of my xmas shopping before it gets too hideous in the shops

Thanks guys

Well he's filled in the papers and I'm going to pick them up off him in an hour. So it looks like it's finally happening.

Like you say, it does take 2 people, and even though he was saying all the right things, he wasn't doing them. I wasn't feeling the total and utter love and committment that a wife should feel from her husband.
Telling him that it just wasn't good enough was the hardest thing so far. I'm so used to just putting up with anything and being happy with my lot.
WW you're so right about the self esteem. I could feel myself slipping lower and lower. Turning into a needy, clingy, worthless shaddow of myself. It has to stop!

I do feel relief. Sadness. Because I didn't think it would really come to this. But at least it is an end to it all.

As for the fact that I am now a week late for my period...well... I'm not sure what to think really... stress maybe?!
Please reassure me!!

Almost certainly stress.

I could tell you wer really low (and I knew why) but it is a decision you have to come to for yourself when you are ready. Im sure your family and firends have all been pressurning you enough without us doing it too

Your H has been very good at saying the right things then not follwing them up and ultimately it is what people do that shows what they really mean isnt it.

I hope I havent typed goddledygook here I need to sort out my screen - I dropped the keyboard and either that or a button I press tyring to catch it has put the top of my screen to the left hand side LOL

Thanks WW.

I feel sick, light headed, strange pains in my stomach, off my food. All most probably stress.
So I'm certain it's all psychosomatic (sp?)

So why am I too scared to test...

I did need to get here in my own time. I take in every word of advice (and criticism in RL!) but I do always need to follow my heart so I don't live with regrets. My heart told me to stick with this to the bitter end and I did. Even though I knew everyone around me thought I was mad to even be giving this a shot after everything he's done (and continues to do).

But now I can see myself, and my personality, changing as a result of his behaviour, I know in my heart it's time to draw a line. As HW wisely said (and lots of you have said before) you can only be treated the way you allow yourself to be treated.
I've finally listened!!

Probably a tummy bug there are a heck of a lot about at the moment, your DS will almost certainly bring you some nice bugs home from playgroup this winter!

Its a male thing to delay doing something you cant avoid and hope it will go away so bite the bullet do the test - that way you know either way.

I could sense how demoralised you were when you posted this week but I didnt comment as you said you didnt want advice, plus you know what I think by now

What I was going to say was I could sense that although you (obviously) still loved H to some extent I sensed perhaps that you no longer actually liked him that much.

Message withdrawn

Baffy - i for one never thought you were mad to carry on trying to make it work. No more mad than i was/have been anyway.

He really is a very lucky man to have you work so hard for so long - and i doubt very much whether he will ever get that again from anyone.

Even though he has destroyed it now - what you had was real and special and did mean something for a very long time. You will be in his and any other women life for a long long time.

Good luck with the test - is there a chance it could be more than stress??