Am I being paranoid?

[nanog]

Last Fri at abt 5pm DH was about to get into the shower. He started to have a shave and I told him I was going out to meet a friend for a quick drink. I'd be back in an hour. DS1 and DS2 were both at home with him.

On my way to meet my friend, I recieve a txt from her to say she can no longer meet, so I turn the car round and go home. I was back home in 5min. As I enter the house, I see the kids both playing. I opened the bathroom door to pop my head round and say hello to DH, but DH wasn't there.

I searched every room and he was nowhere to be seen. The back door to the garden was wide open and so was the garage door. I entered the garage and he was sat naked, half shaven with a phone i've never seen before.I asked him what on earth he was doing sitting stark naked in the garage, in a jokey way. He said nothing and I'm just so confused by then that I didn't know what else to say to him. I also noticed a phone charger plugged into a socket in the garage.

I started to piece together things that have happened, like how he spends a lot of time in the garage when he returns from work each day. I always assumed he was putting his tools away, but now i'm thinking otherwise.

I'm questioning why he would need another (secret) mobile phone. i can only think the worst right?

It was bugging me all weekend so last night I asked him about the phone. He told me its a very old phone he used to own and someone at work told him he could enter a code and then make free calls from it. I questioned further whether it actually worked and he said he tried, but got cut off. I said how gr8 it would be to have a phone wher we wouldn't have to pay for calls, but he said that he didn't think it was possible. more like he didn't want me to see the phone right?

Since I saw the phone in the garage on the fri, he has hid it. I can't find it anywhere. He doesn't leave it around like his other mobile phone. Why would he hide this from me?

I've never felt this way before. We've been married for 10 years. Should I be suspiscious? Is he upto something and how do I find out?

So sorry Nanog! My DH has never done anything like this, but this is exactly how he acts with things and I sympathize that it is frustrating beyond belief.
This doesn't even compare to your siatuation at all, but the attitude is the same - My DH does it with little/insignificant things... like, if he's finished something in the refrigerator and put the empty box/bottle back in, he'll act as if he's not done it and has "no idea" how it happened... when it's totally obvious that it's him because we are the only two (for 9 more weeks!) living in this house!! He just remains completely unbothered, saying "I don't know how that happened, it wasn't me" and if I press for him to just fess up he gets defensive. I know he'd act the same way in a situation like this (god forbid he ever did anything so ridiculous!).

Hi Dalrymps, that kinda makes sense, cz he prob exchanged the sims, without thinking abt wat was on the memory card. The imei no. is 353383/00/152522/2
Type: NHL-10
Model: 6600

Ah so it's a 6600, does it look like [ this]] ?
The software on these ones is a bit more complicated that on basic nokias... I had an old phone with that software on once. Is there a file manager on it or anything that suggests you can recover things that have been deleted? Just guessing here cause it's hard for me to tell without having a phone like that in front of me.

Dalrymps, there was no link in your post. I've clicked into 'manager' and there is no data. the installation file has a date - 2005. However, there is a Orange Backup box. Once i've clicked into it there are 3 options: backup, retore or options.

btw - i have just found 2 cases in one of his drawers. both cases have a Kingmax mini adapter, a mini 16MB sandisk and 3 sim cards. I have just found 6 sim cards in total!!!

I'm off to drop DS2 off at childminders. back soon.

I've tried 2 sim cards - no data on either of then.

one of the sim cards, once inserted is asking for a password. I typed a 4 digit number and it was incorrect. Will the SIM reader pick up the data from this sim card, despite the sim card being protected with a password?

I'm just abt to try the other 3 sim cards.

Oh my god Nanog. Please make sure he doesnt get them back off you. You need to leave them with a friend or something.

I think this is a porn situation and not an affair. You dont need six sim cards for an affair.

Is he at work all day so you can read the sims in peace.

I hope to god this can be solved. xx

This is insane! what is he doing with so many sim cards???

What password number did you try. Its usually just 0000 or try a simple one (like men) 1234

muckpy pups - he wud never use a simple one - in the past it used to be his nickname, but i've tried that and its failed. I'm worried that if i keep trying i may end up blocking the phone.

I'm going to keep the sim cards on me now and if he asks me where they are, i'll use his strategy - 'I don't know'! Ha!

yes, DH is at work all day, but i need to get some work done too. I have a presentation to prepare for tomorrow, but I can't concentrate, until I've searched thro each and every sim card.

ha! lol that's a GREAT idea about playing clueless about the whereabouts of the sim cards. Brilliant!

Everyone seems to be overlooking the fact this jerk off has been videoing himself wanking and sending it to some woman. Loads of people do that with their husbands/wives/partners nowadays, it's such a common thing.. and he is doing it with another woman. She'll be sending him things too. He's obviously forgotten to delete the two videos,which he's gutted about, clearly. But he's managed to delete the other stuff- probbly hundreds of pictures of another woman's naked body.

I don't mean to sound insensitive but staying with him after that is crazy. Not because he's done it, because if he was sorry then he could possibly be forgiven depending on what kind of person you are. But he's not sorry, he's just pretending he doesn't know and treating you like an idiot.

Please don't wait for answers from him. Chuck him out, even if only for a few days so that he knows no matter what the circumstances, and how much money matters, you are not prepared to be with someone who will deceive and lie to you.

he must control you for you to be waiting for him to come up with an explanation, and tell you it's all ok, or to take the lead and tell you what he's done, but YOU need to take control of this situation.

HE has cheated. Whether he's done it in real life or not is irrelevant as he has done it virtually. Those videos will only be the tip of the iceberg as he's had the phone long enough to delete what he remebered to delete. He even pretending he'd found it where he hadn't!!!!

Take control!!! We're all here for you.

"videoing himself wanking and sending it to some woman."

"HE has cheated."

how do you know that for sure? maybe he just likes to watch himself doing it? you dont know for sure so why panic the OP more?

Oh well maybe I'm just sceptical when it comes to these things but my ex did the exact same thing to me and I found the videos. He was sending them to some woman. A few women in fact.

Sorry, I just assume it will be the same.

He could be doing that or it could be just straight porn. Either way he is taking you for a fool by his lack of explanations and laughing it off. He doesnt seem sorry or have any regrets. I doubt you will ever get the full truth from him and you need to ask yourself if can you live with someone you dont trust.

You deserve better than this

I appreciate everything u say, but before i make any major decision that will definitely impact on, not only my life, but the kids too, I need to get this evidence. I'm thinking the same as you K-mum. I know I deserve better than this and I need to be strong enough to see it all thro. However, to u and me it seems obvious, to others it won't seem obvious - not without hard evidence.

The 4th SIM was blank. The 5th sim has come up as - PIN code blocked: enter PUK code - does anyone know what this means?

Why can't you just ASK him? Or will he go mental and get violent?
No wonder he goes around being secretive if you don't TALK to him.
What's the worst that can happen?

if you wanted to video yourself having a wank and watch it back you'd use a better camera than is on the 6600. Plus iirc the 6600 only takes about 15 seconds of video at a time, maybe 30, but it's not exactly long enough to be turned on by is it?

For me, having six simcards would imply that someone felt the need to lose contact with people on a fairly regular basis. If you want a new gadget you buy a new mobile, if you want to delete people out of your life you get a new phone number.

My guess would be that he has had multiple affairs. And these women probably know nothing more about him than his name and phone number. And then, after he gets fed up he cuts the woman out of his life and changes his number so she can't contact him again, and then he moves on to his next conquest.

i have about 5 sim cards in the house, i must be having multiple affairs also then

all this guessing must be cheering up the OP no end.

maybe he has a weird fettish about videoing himself wanking? that could be what he was doing naked in the garage?

wannabe - DH has had the same mobile no. for abt 8 yrs.

2 of the sim cards I've found today require a pin code. the other 4 just state registration failed. If he did have multile phone numbers, he would need to activate these sims. How would he do that and is it relatively simple to do? Or can he use pay as you go, without the SIM being activiated?

Also, Darlmps said videos are stored to memory cards, rather than a SIM. should I look for memory cards too? but it seems memory cards are only unique to the actual phone? I don't think you can insert just any memory card into any phone. please correct me if i'm wrong.

the 6600 is the only phone we've every had with a large screen size. Its quite a bulky phone too. however, the image quality is not great.

Ripeberry - I've asked him repeatedly and yet he is giving me the 'i don't know' answer. In the past whenever we've needed to talk abt a serious issue with the kids or extended family, his response has always been 'i don't know'. Its like whenever it gets serious, he just doesn't know HOW to talk or HOW to respond or HOW to deal with it. I think he maybe facing the biggest shock of his life soon, because for all the 'i don't know' answers I'm just going to have to give him an ultimatum.

loopy - i asked him abt that. I said if that's what he was doing in the garage, then fine. I just need you to admit it and that's the end of it. But he just kept denying it. He said he wasn't doing that. he was inserting the code. God, i wish i'd just snatched that phone out of his hand, when I saw him in the gargae.

I have been following this from the start (as a lurker) and I just wanted to say two things:

nanog - you are doing brilliantly keeping yourself together through all this, I'd have run for the hills by now even without knowing exactly what he'd been up to. The nature of what he might had done would be enough, together with the fact he's lying to you now.

Also I have been touched by the help and support m/netters have given throughout this. It is a lovely feeling knowing that strangers will help you out like this when, often you have no one else due to the nature of the problem

Sorry, here, is it this one?
I'm just looking through the user guide for that phone to see if I can think of anything you can look though.

the sim wont store anything but numbers and texts, pictures and video would be on the phone/mem card.