Am I being paranoid?

[nanog]

Last Fri at abt 5pm DH was about to get into the shower. He started to have a shave and I told him I was going out to meet a friend for a quick drink. I'd be back in an hour. DS1 and DS2 were both at home with him.

On my way to meet my friend, I recieve a txt from her to say she can no longer meet, so I turn the car round and go home. I was back home in 5min. As I enter the house, I see the kids both playing. I opened the bathroom door to pop my head round and say hello to DH, but DH wasn't there.

I searched every room and he was nowhere to be seen. The back door to the garden was wide open and so was the garage door. I entered the garage and he was sat naked, half shaven with a phone i've never seen before.I asked him what on earth he was doing sitting stark naked in the garage, in a jokey way. He said nothing and I'm just so confused by then that I didn't know what else to say to him. I also noticed a phone charger plugged into a socket in the garage.

I started to piece together things that have happened, like how he spends a lot of time in the garage when he returns from work each day. I always assumed he was putting his tools away, but now i'm thinking otherwise.

I'm questioning why he would need another (secret) mobile phone. i can only think the worst right?

It was bugging me all weekend so last night I asked him about the phone. He told me its a very old phone he used to own and someone at work told him he could enter a code and then make free calls from it. I questioned further whether it actually worked and he said he tried, but got cut off. I said how gr8 it would be to have a phone wher we wouldn't have to pay for calls, but he said that he didn't think it was possible. more like he didn't want me to see the phone right?

Since I saw the phone in the garage on the fri, he has hid it. I can't find it anywhere. He doesn't leave it around like his other mobile phone. Why would he hide this from me?

I've never felt this way before. We've been married for 10 years. Should I be suspiscious? Is he upto something and how do I find out?

Ok, go to your saved photos.Click on one or do whatever you do to send it to someone. It should give you the option to send as MMS or Bluetooth it. Select Bluetooth. Then, it will search for devices, (might ask you to activate your bluetooth before it begins searching) then it will search and bring up a list of all devices with bluetooth that are in a small radious (I think 5m).

Obviously his Bluetooth would need to be on, and you may need to try it from several locations in the house but it it gives you something to try I guess.

True what fatbob says but the one closest will come up first so is likely to be his if you are in a detached property.

Oh, no I absolutely understand what you mean. It is so much more difficult in these communities as they're very close knit and the 'tradititional pressure' can be immense.

My 2nd youngest cousin was basically 'forgotten' to be added to guest lists, etc. because she married a white English colleague and had been living with him (secretively) for a year or so prior to that. It's all died down now but you can imagine how she must have felt

As long as you can keep it to yourself you should do so. Maybe you could confide in one of your closest girl friends or your own Mum once the secret is out (whatever it may be). For the time being I think all of us here are happy to support you and listen to any rants or frustrations you may experience. Time is on your side, he can't lie forever.

I wonder if since it's an old phone it will even have a bluetooth, though? Isn't that only on more recent phones? Speaking from little experience here so I could be wrong!
I assume you're looking through his work things/bags/trousers when he gets home and is in the shower? I hope you find it soon!

also the line about free calls on a phone is rubbish, the old phones ( know as bash phones ) have been stopped for some time now, you could auto top them up be switching it off then on, the credit would aways go back to £10 or £20.

but as i say they are a thing of the past.

Oh yes FB, i remember those.
NANOG - was it actually an old phone? Did you say it was an old nokia?
Go on google, click images, and type in "old nokia mobile phone".
See if you can get a picture of it. We may be able to help work it/see if the sim reader will work on it etc.

surely the sim reader tries to read the sim card and not the phone?

I HAV THE PHONE. I pestered him today and he has just handed it ova, saying it was in his paper tray! Another lie, cz I had searched thro that already. He's gone up to bed and I wanted to post on here quickly, before I question him further.

Anyway, the home screen brings up a box that says SIM registration failed - can someone tell me wat this means?

As for any incriminating data, check this out! I have found 2 video files. He is masturbating in both. I can't tell whether the videos were taken in this house or the house we used to live in. I can see a pink carpet. We have pink carpet in our current bedroom, but we also had pink carpet in the lounge of our old house.

I've checked the date on this video file and it Nov 07. Not that means anything, cz the time and date on the phone home screen state 10.15 1/104.

TBH - i was expecting him to have deleted everything. but there are 2 video files. Can't help thinking that he may have left these on purpose - to ward me off the REAL evidence??

I found this on another website:
When you cell phone says"SIM CARD REGISTRATION FAILED" It means that handset has been permanently blocked to either receive or make calls.These are possible reasons :
(1) that cell phone is stolen
(2)the cellphone previous owner took it on a contract and never paid ie unpaid contract
(3)the previous owner lost it so he/she reported it lost so the network will disable it
(4)the previous owner took it on account and he/she never paid that account and subsequently it was a bad debt or irrecoverable debt-thenetwork will disable that handset.
IN SUCH INSTANCE,IT IS FUTILE TO WANT TO KNOW WHAT COULD BE THE PROBLEM AS THAT WILL LAND YOU TO JAIL.YOU MIGHT HAVE TO ANSWER FOR WHAT YOU DONT KNOW.
If you have legally bought that phone from a reputable shop,you can take that up with that shop.If you bought it from someone ,hard luck you have lost.
YUO ONLY HAVE A CASE IF YOU HAVE GENUINELY BOUGHT THAT PHONE AND YOU CAN PROVE WITH YOUR RECEIPT THAT YOU HAVE PAID FOR IT,OTHERWISE

He's obviously been using it to chat and swap files with women at the very least.

What a tosspot.

I'd ask him why he was filming himself having a wank -straight out.

Really? He gave you the phone with videos of him wanking on it?
Im sorry, but up until that last post, i believed it, but now, not so much.

It's not obvious at all. He could have done exactly what the OP thinks he has, or he could have just been filming himself ... there are many possibilities. I suggest speaking to him and asking him why they are on there. Or saying nothing and leaving him to sweat perhaps? But you will still probably be in the same position of not really knowng what the truth is at all.

cant sim reg failed mean he has removed sim card? mine has done that when i've put sim in wrong way round....

I used to be a mobile phone technician. Sim reg failed either means

• The sim is unregistered (he may have swapped the sim for a new, unregistered one)
• The sim is deactivated, this means it was used in the past but has now been cancelled
• The handset itself has been blacklisted.

This means it has been reported lost or stolen and the network it belongs to (eg orange, O2) has barred it so no sim at all will work in it.

I think the most likely explanation is that he has swapped the sim he was using for an old/different sim so you can't find what phone number he was using in it.
The phone number is attached to whatever sim you use so you can change the phone number of the mobile by swapping the sim for a different one.

I also think he might have accidentally left those videos on whilst trying to delete everything else on a rush as people often forget about videos as texts and pics are more commonly used.
Can you get in to the menus? Is there a recent call log?
Do you know what model it is yet? Can you describe it or find out the model number?

Are there ANY numbers in the phone?

You must be in pieces, not knowing what's going on. And he is treating you as an idiot, if he thinks you are falling for his lies.

In your situation, I would go to my mum's with the DC's, and tell him that when he is willing to tell the truth, you will consider listening - if you're at all interested, by that time.

You are being tortured by your own thoughts until he deigns to tell you what's going on, otherwise, I would imagine. I'm very angry for you, and sad you are going through this.

Take the reigns a little, would be my advice.

All comms on a phone passes the SIM card. Texts, etc. Only large files in the new phones get saved on SD cards, etc.

There is still a good chance to recover data from the phone. www.disklabs.com/mobile-phone-forensics.asp

It does sound like Dalrymps is right. Would definitely heed her advice and let her help you.

Are you sure you're not MI5 Alexa? Or should I say Dame Eliza?

Firstly, the phone - its a phone he used to own and use some years ago. We get yearly upgrades from Orange, which is why he no longer uses it. Here is an image from Google (thanks flubdub) Second row, 3rd one - images.google.co.uk/images?sourceid=navclient&hl=en-GB&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4DMUK_en-GBGB242GB244&q =old%20nokia%20mobile%20phone&um=1&sa=N&tab=wi

The sim card is inserted correctly and there is also a memory card thing. Can someone tell me abt upgrades - don't Orange ask for the SIM card to be returned? I'm sorry I have no idea how it works. I've always left these things to him.

Alexa, thanks for the link but I wud prefer not to send it off to a company cz of wat they may find. Will the sim card reader detect wats on the sim card, depsite the 'registration failed' message?

Following my last post I went upstairs and i hand over the phone to him. I asked him to take a look at the 2 video files and to tell me wat on earth this is all abt. He takes a look and makes out he's surprised and says he doesn't know. I completely lose it and start yelling, cz I've had enough of the lies. I tell him I'm not going to settle for the 'I don't know answers' and wat does he say?

'I honestly can't remember doing that or wen it was taken or even why he wud do such a thing' Further questioning and accusations (yes, i did accuse him of all sorts - emailing the videos to women, engaging in sex txt etc) leads to nothing. If he thinks taking the denial approach is going to smooth things ova, he's got another thing coming. its made me even more determined to be ever more probing than before.

I think its possible that he forgot to delete these files, cz it was the look on his face, of surprise. I explained the video files are dated nov 07 and he said he couldn't remember from that long ago, i mean c'mon, of course he can and I kept repeating this. I said that he may not remember doing this, if he was doing it reguarly, but as a one off he'd defeinitely remember it. He just kept denying any recollection.

Which makes me even more suspiscious!

Beanie - there are no contacts or txts. Just the 2 video files.

Dalrymps - I wud say the second point - deactivated. However, i'm a little concerned that he may have swapped the sim card with another sim card which may contain the evidence. I think he forgot abt the 2 video files on the SIM card currently inserted in that phone.

There is no recent call log - all deleted. Dalrymps - wud appreciate any more technical advice u can give, which cud help to extract any info.

I snoop on his regular phone all the time and there is nothing on there. Just the regular texts to me, friends and family, with pics of the kids. I suspect he has another SIM somewhere. AGGGHHH. Its so frustrating!

He sounds so frustrating!! Was he at all defensive nanog? Or just calm and denying recollection? How awful for you.
Just leave for a couple of days. Can you show the video files (I know a bit) to his mum and talk to her about it? SHE certainly wouldn't want such gossip about her son going around the community and would likely keep it quiet, yes?

His mum wud prob hav a heart attack - she suffers with high blood pressure and I think this could send her ova the edge star6. Besides, I don't really get on with her. We rarely talk, unless we have to, usually abt domestic chores!

I am thinking abt who to talk to abt this, but showing the video files is embarrasing and I suppose for now I just want to contain it, until I have more evidence. I could show his sister, but I know he'd be mortified that I'd shown them to anyone and then I really think we'd come to the breakdown stage of our marriage.

Its so easy for ppl to say, kick him out or leave him. I just can't do it, without knowing the truth, cz if u think abt it, I have nothing on him. All boys and men masturbate but to film it is another thing. It's wat he's been doing with the video files that concerns me. Plus, if there's any additional data on the SIM card that the SIM reader may extract, then everything may just make sense. I really don't know

There is no way I'm going to give up. Deep down, i hope the issues are forgivable and fixable! (if there is such a word!) cz if I'm honest I don't want to have to leave him / kick him out, unless I know he's done something totally unforvigeable, like shagging someone else or even sex txt with someone else.

I know what you mean, nanog. I know myself I wouldn't be able to just up and leave either - especially since you just don't know still. It's suspicious, yes, but you just still don't know. What would he do if you just kept pressing him for information or told him you will have the phone/sim investigated or gave him an ultimatum... like "tell me what this is all about exactly or I can't live like this - without honesty and trust"

Star 6, he would say there is nothing to say. And yes, he is very frustrating. He is not going to admit to any wrong doing. I did give him the opportunity last nite to spill the beans. I said it was okay if he'd taken any more video files or exchanged porn pics, but he said he hasn;t.

However, if the SIM card reader reveals otherwise i.e. more video files, texts or a call log to numbers that I don't recognise, then I can use all that to get the answers out of him. Yet, i feel a lot of damage has already been done, thro his constant lies (that IF he still lying) cz like u said star 6, I still don't know.

last sentence didn't make any sense - (that's if he is still lying)

When you upgrade on orange they send you a new sim with the upgrade and they register that usually, this deactivates the old sim. He's probably given you the phone with his old, deactivated sim in. He wouldn't have been able to use another network sim in it (eg O2, Tmobile) unless he's had the phone 'unlocked'. So, my guess is that maybe he's been using it with an Orange pay as you go sim ? If thats the case the sim he was using could be anywhere...
The video files will either be saved to the phone or the memory card, sims usually only store phone numbers and occaionally some texts.
The link you put up just seems to go to google umages home page but doesn't bring any pics up, could you describe the phone? Or if you can get the serial number I might be able to find out the model, you get this by typing *#06# in and a 16 digit 'IMEI' number should come up.
Maybe in the meantime have a look to see if you can find another sim anywhere, not an easy task I know. Most likely to be an Orange one. If I had a spare sim i'd probably keep it in my purse so maybe check his wallet?
I wish I still worked for Orange, I could have done some investigations for you