Am I being paranoid?

[nanog]

Last Fri at abt 5pm DH was about to get into the shower. He started to have a shave and I told him I was going out to meet a friend for a quick drink. I'd be back in an hour. DS1 and DS2 were both at home with him.

On my way to meet my friend, I recieve a txt from her to say she can no longer meet, so I turn the car round and go home. I was back home in 5min. As I enter the house, I see the kids both playing. I opened the bathroom door to pop my head round and say hello to DH, but DH wasn't there.

I searched every room and he was nowhere to be seen. The back door to the garden was wide open and so was the garage door. I entered the garage and he was sat naked, half shaven with a phone i've never seen before.I asked him what on earth he was doing sitting stark naked in the garage, in a jokey way. He said nothing and I'm just so confused by then that I didn't know what else to say to him. I also noticed a phone charger plugged into a socket in the garage.

I started to piece together things that have happened, like how he spends a lot of time in the garage when he returns from work each day. I always assumed he was putting his tools away, but now i'm thinking otherwise.

I'm questioning why he would need another (secret) mobile phone. i can only think the worst right?

It was bugging me all weekend so last night I asked him about the phone. He told me its a very old phone he used to own and someone at work told him he could enter a code and then make free calls from it. I questioned further whether it actually worked and he said he tried, but got cut off. I said how gr8 it would be to have a phone wher we wouldn't have to pay for calls, but he said that he didn't think it was possible. more like he didn't want me to see the phone right?

Since I saw the phone in the garage on the fri, he has hid it. I can't find it anywhere. He doesn't leave it around like his other mobile phone. Why would he hide this from me?

I've never felt this way before. We've been married for 10 years. Should I be suspiscious? Is he upto something and how do I find out?

Does look like he's using an O2 SIM and is using it to access the internet too.

I'm sorry you're going through this

If he'd just be a man and tell you the bloody truth you wouldn't have to be doing all this detective crap and torturing yourself with 'what-ifs'. I hope you get some straight answers soon.

I'll keep following the thread in case there's anything else I can help with. Hope you find some answers

To me , this is all the hall marks of a guy who likes wanking.

if he's just be a man!!

He is just being a man
I reckon they all lie in this sort of situation - damage limitation exercise (futile one)

and a woman would not lie? she would own up there and then?

thats good to know.

how many women do you know who wank in the garage with their kids in the house?

Millions no doubt

how do you know he was wanking ?

who said he was wanking in there?

you think all men would lie, in this situation? so what about women?

yep
I know of a fair number of people who have had affairs discovered
Men and women

Funnily enough when it was the woman having the affair, they generally came clean and things healed after a period of turmoil.

When it was the man there were months and months of denials, lies, continuing to sneak about.

I can only speak from personal experience

hence
obv

telling the OP that he's having an affair is help is it?

i have help the OP where i can with info on the phones and sims, but all most people do is pop in tell her he's having an affair for sure, and thats about it..

so yeah thanks for that.

surely people are just offering advice based on their experience
you have experience of sim cards
they have experience of infidelity

All the "he's cheating" ?he?s having an affair" posts when nobody knows for sure, you are just fuelling her imagination and that may cloud her judgment. I mean you may have been cheated on like this, and this also may be the case with this guy, but does it really help? I have only been posting here a few days and it seems the common response anyway so maybe that?s just how it is here, all men are liars and scum apart from mine... etc etc.

i will move on and leave you to guys to it.

hope you get it sorted nanog.

Who said all men are liars and scum apart from mine? No one.

We have been presented with a scenario, asked for our opinions and people are putting them forward. That is what nanog is using mumsnet for, obviously. Why would she ask otherwise? And the information that has been put forward indicates an affair. Obviously people will draw on their own experiences and if that is that they have been cheated on, then that's what it is. There is no need to tell people what they can and can't say.

There's people on here who don't think there's anything suspicious and there's people who think his behaviour is suspicious. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Simple as.

thanks for ur posts and EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion. It is all if's and but's and i'm sorry this issue is not getting resolved overnight. As some of you have already said, it could take months.

From the evidence i've got, it looks like he's just wanking. However, there cud be more and until I know the SIM reader is going to work, with the sim cards I've currently retrieved from the phone and his drawers, then I really have nothing.

I will have it out with him again, but after 10 years of marriage I now discover my DH will do anything to conceal the truth. His behaviour this week has been so odd - like how he's being extra nice, touchy, feely ALL the time. He usually goes into a strop at least twice a week over things. Its like we're completely out of our routine!

His strops are usually caused by his parents, or sometimes I forget to do something important. But he is being extra nice to me, which means he just wants me to forget about it and move on. I don't think so!

I think its time i took advantage of this. I will post on here, when I have new factual things to report. best not to speculate for now. thanks for all ur postings and support.

fatbob are you the op's dh? Because you seem to be spending an awful lot of energy defending him, and it seems you also joined mn at around the time this thread was started. .

Of course no-one knows.

He may be cheating, we don't know, we do know he's a wanker (as there appears to be hard (excuse the pun) evidence of that) wink.

But whatever it is he's doing it involves a secret mobile phone and trips to the garage to do whatever it is in eecret, it involves lying to his wife, and concealing countless numbers of simcards.

I think the op has a right to be annoyed about that, and to jump to conclusions about what may, or may not be going on.

Good luck nanog. xxx

I don't think it is a good idea to jump to conclusions. Be realistic about the chances it is something bad, yes, but don't jump to conclusions.
And I think it is worth bearing in mind that this is soemone's reality so calling her husband horrible names and deciding for ourselves and then telling her what he has done isn't really very helpful. Even the OP doesn't know what really happened, so how can we tell her the truth? (I am not the husband either by the way!)

Dont know about you lot but i regualry check my husbands phone text and last dialled due to him having an emotional affair a few months back.

Tonight im checking his vids