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Original poster

DP is being so ignorent

163 replies

MrsMissMs · 01/08/2008 13:36

I've just had a row with DP. Its the first one we've had really and I feel so crap about it.

Its all over a holiday. Basically we're going to Orlando (me, my kids, him and his 2 kids). I have spent months organising everything and he keeps trying to challange me on everything I plan.

I've been before with my kids so I know how everything works. I booked a villa for us all (big party so was cheaper) but he wanted to stay in a nickalodeon hotel. I got him to see sense over that but that its everything else. He wants to go to disney to take his kids, I've been before and told him universal is better but he's insisting on wasting £500+ on disney tickets.

He wants to go to discovery cove, I don't. I've been before and I don't think its that great but he wants to waste another £400 on that.

The latest thing is that I want to do a trip to miami but he wants to stay i orlando for the entire two weeks.

I know its about compromise but I've been before and I know how it all is over there yet he refuses to listen to anything I say. Is this the early signs or a controller?

OP posts:
Freckle · 01/08/2008 14:51

I'm sorry, but this is bloody ridiculous. You've booked a holiday for him because he's always wanted to take his children there, yet you've booked everything that you want to do. How is this holiday for him if it's all about what you want to do??

So your children get to do everything that they want to do, some of them twice , but he doesn't even get to do what he wants to do once. You have deliberately poisoned his children's minds against Disneyland because you feel that will put more pressure on him to agree to only doing what you want. And you see this relationship going where exactly??

AttilaTheMeerkat · 01/08/2008 14:52

I realise you have been there before but your parner and his children have not. When did you last visit Orlando?. Its changed a heck of a lot over the years, it is unwise to assume that you know everything there is to know about this destination.

Why do you want to go to Miami, its not exactly a resort for children and quite apart from that its a long drive down there (4 plus hours each way!).

Your blended family unit is showing cracks primarily of your making through your controlling behaviours. Why are you so anxious to prove a point?.

MrsPotatoHead · 01/08/2008 15:04

You say he "keeps challenging" you on everything you plan - because it's his and his children's holiday too, presumably? And therefore he is entitled to some input? How is that "challenging"? Unless you are a control freak.

How long have you been together? Quite surprised that this is your first row, tbh, if you are anything like the impression you give here.

I fail to see anything 'ignorant' about his behaviour. Feel very sorry for him though, and his kids.

Kimi · 01/08/2008 15:11

I really don't think this is a lasting relationship if you are having such a hard time over this holiday tbh.

Why should your child get to dictate going to sea world twice (to see some poor animals tortured for fun) and yet his children are not allowed to go to Disney?

I am not a Disney fan but I took my children there a few Christmases ago as it is magical for children, DH and I enjoyed seeing our childrens faces light up.

Original poster
MrsMissMs · 01/08/2008 15:15

DS has not said about going to sea world twice, I just imagine he would like to.

I've spoken to DP anyway, he is insisting on disney but wants to come to universal with us too. He's paying for disney and his side of the universal himself so when they go to disney, we'll go to sea world again or maybe clearwater where we didn't get to see last time.

Oh well.

I'm ordering sky+ later.

OP posts:
Buda · 01/08/2008 15:21

Any child going to Florida for the first time wants to go to Disney. OK so you didn't like it but he wants to go and take his kids. Perfectly natural.

Can't see the relationship lasting long beyond the holiday at this rate!

SmallShips · 01/08/2008 15:23

whats sky + got to do with anything?

nervousal · 01/08/2008 15:24

how long have you been together? Do you live together as a family? Still picking up in "him and his side" and "us"

solidgoldbrass · 01/08/2008 15:28

If you're not a troll you are a complete cow.

Just a thought though - is this one of these threads where actually you are the victim of this sort of shit-head behaviour and are trying to 'put yourself in the other person's shoes'?

Alexa808 · 01/08/2008 15:39

Mrs, don't know if it's been said before, but why don't you book a night and 2 days in Miami for you and your kids while he stays in Disney with his? Or you leave all the kids with him and go to Miami solo?

I know what it's like to go on holiday with someone who hasn't been there with him but pls be patient. You already chose the destination and the villa, let him chose what to do at the location. Don't spoil Disney for them. Chances are it'll backfire. The less they anticipate the more they're going to be blown away. I loved it when I was small. The magic is there for kids, don't take it away from them.

elkiedee · 01/08/2008 15:44

Regarding cost, how is your dp booking tickets for the places he wants to go to? I just wondered because they seem quite expensive given dollar to pound exchange rates.

Playingthe9monthwait · 01/08/2008 16:00

I am truly by this thread.

I have only been to Florida once when I was 14 and we did everything, Disney (including all 3 water parks) universal, Sea world, Bush Gardens and Kennedy Space centre (we also spent a week on the beach nr St petes afterwards).

At 14 I agree there were aspects of Disney that were a little childish, but there were plenty of parts to enjoy as well and I did have a good time through most of Disney, even if I didn't enjoy all of it.

More importantly my brother was 11 and my sister was 8 and they had a fantastic time. I knew at 14 that there were some things my sister would enjoy more than me and vice versa, so I had to put up with the things that were more childish, just as she had to put up with the things that were more grown up (e.g the fab rollercoasters at Bush Gardens that she was too young for but I loved or Universal which is aime at much older kids). That is what family is all about, compromise and sometimes having to do things you are not keen on because someone else is!

My favourite memory of Disney was queuing for 3/4 of an hour in the hot sun (whilst my sis waited in the shade) so she could have her photo taken with Mickey Mouse. You know why, because she loved it and it meant so much to her and it made me happy to make her happy and I was 14. Why can't it make you happy to make your DP happy? He gets to do somethings he wants in the holiday, you get to do somethings you want and everyone enjoys it all because doing things to make other people happy is what family life is about and a joy in itself!

StellaWasADiver · 01/08/2008 16:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MrsMissMs · 01/08/2008 16:28

Well I'm not a troll so I guess I must be a bitch.

I don't care what you think. I booked this holiday for him, it didn't matter that much to me, I have been before and can go anytime I like. I did it for him.
I booked the space centre for his kids (mine arnt into stuff like that).

All I asked was that he came to universal with us.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMissMs · 01/08/2008 16:28

And I'm booking sky +

OP posts:
AbbeyA · 01/08/2008 16:39

I think you are being very selfish. I haven't been, but if I went to Orlando I would want to go to Disney! I wouldn't want it spoilt for me before I got there. There is no way I would want to spend time in Miami. You need to compromise-not tell him what he is doing!

lizziemun · 01/08/2008 16:39

You didn't book this holiday for him, you booked for yourself.

As you have no respect for him or his children. It's all about you. This is all about you being able 'I have been before and can go anytime I like.'. You sound like your either showing off or just being nasty.

FWIW you can do disney and universal as you have 14days to do things.

AbbeyA · 01/08/2008 16:40

I am very confused as to where sky+ comes into it.

chipmonkey · 01/08/2008 16:44

Nobody visiting Florida for the first time would want to skip Disney! And I agree that Universal is better but before I went, nothing would have convinced me not to do Disney! YABU

Alexa808 · 01/08/2008 16:48

couldn't you go to miami with your kids only? Or on your own? You could do adult fun things and pamper yourself.

zippitippitoes · 01/08/2008 16:54

lol at sky +

well i never wanted to go to disneyworld told my kids thast they would never go then their dad was away for 6 weeks one year over xmas

he came back at the end of january and i booked the feb half term to go to disneyworld

and it was fantastic i loved it too

that was a while asgo and im sure it hasnt got any worse

i then did a load of work for an art degree on globalisation disney and post modernism as i am a total hypocrite

zippitippitoes · 01/08/2008 16:55

so i think you are being very harsh to your potential partner and his family

ihatebikerides · 01/08/2008 16:59

Probably because the poor DP doesn't want it, so she's ordering it anyway. So there.

Blu · 01/08/2008 16:59

WE've got SkyPlus.
DP ordered it. Waste of money IMO.

I objectd to the dih going on the front of the house, though, and they had to come back another day with a ladder for the roof.

HTH

Alexa808 · 01/08/2008 17:06

One of our cats peed on the Skybox.

Not a bad idea actually...

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