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Original poster

DP is being so ignorent

163 replies

MrsMissMs · 01/08/2008 13:36

I've just had a row with DP. Its the first one we've had really and I feel so crap about it.

Its all over a holiday. Basically we're going to Orlando (me, my kids, him and his 2 kids). I have spent months organising everything and he keeps trying to challange me on everything I plan.

I've been before with my kids so I know how everything works. I booked a villa for us all (big party so was cheaper) but he wanted to stay in a nickalodeon hotel. I got him to see sense over that but that its everything else. He wants to go to disney to take his kids, I've been before and told him universal is better but he's insisting on wasting £500+ on disney tickets.

He wants to go to discovery cove, I don't. I've been before and I don't think its that great but he wants to waste another £400 on that.

The latest thing is that I want to do a trip to miami but he wants to stay i orlando for the entire two weeks.

I know its about compromise but I've been before and I know how it all is over there yet he refuses to listen to anything I say. Is this the early signs or a controller?

OP posts:
hercules1 · 01/08/2008 13:49

Yes, you're right. It does sound like a controller - you!

EffiePerine · 01/08/2008 13:49

I sincerely hope so

I reckon the solution is a holiday in Morecambe. In a caravan. In November.

melpomene · 01/08/2008 13:49

If you're there for 2 weeks, surely you'd have time to go to Universal and go to Disneyland as well on another day? It doesn't have to be just one or the other, surely.

Original poster
MrsMissMs · 01/08/2008 13:49

No I'm not a troll!

OP posts:
mumblechum · 01/08/2008 13:49

Is the message sinking in yet??

hercules1 · 01/08/2008 13:50

Personally I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than go to a disney resort of any kind.

Original poster
MrsMissMs · 01/08/2008 13:50

Not really as I have booked sea-world, water parks and a fw other things that we didn't get to see last time. Not sure we could afford both big parks or have the time.

OP posts:
MrsFluffleHasAWuffle · 01/08/2008 13:51

I beg to differ. It appears to me that YOU are spoiling it.

Apologise and all go together!

ThatBigGermanPrison · 01/08/2008 13:51

he's not spoiling it, you're spoiling it yourself.

You may have been a single parent all this time, that just means you now have to adjust to not being in charge of someone you have to spend a lot of time with. He's not one of your children. You cannot and must not try to control what he does with his own children. You are at real risk of sabotaging your relationship - believe me, if you were my partner, I'd have cancelled already.

Stop trying to control him and start trying to control yourself,.

JodieG1 · 01/08/2008 13:51

Just because you think Disney is crap doesn't mean that it is, I love Disney when I went as a child and I was about 9 or 10 I think. It was great.

You sound selfish and controlling. Why can't you do both seeing as you're there for 2 weeks?

Original poster
MrsMissMs · 01/08/2008 13:51

I wanted to go to busch gardens and he didn't so we're not going. Its not all on my terms.

OP posts:
LazyLinePainterJane · 01/08/2008 13:51

But you went to those places once. Surely you can see that if you wanted to go once, him and his children would want to as well.

Talk about controlling. You need to take a step back.

EffiePerine · 01/08/2008 13:51

so you have booked everything

he is saying 'but I wanted to go to Disneyland'

and you moan about him being controlling...

mindalina · 01/08/2008 13:53

It sounds like your DP hasn't had a great deal of input into this "family holiday" at all tbh.

So you didn't like Disney - tbh I should think most parents don't love it - but surely you can suck it up for a day so that your DP and his kids get to experience it? I went when I was 11 or so and yes it is fairly crap but I'm still glad I got the chance to go at all.

If i were you i would sit down with your DP and make some lists of what you BOTH want to do and then work out TOGETHER what is feasible and what can be done together (i.e. kid's stuff like disney) and what could maybe be done separately.

SmallShips · 01/08/2008 13:53

Did you actually think anyone would agree with you, it's not just about you, is it? You may think Disney is shite, but your DPs children will no doubt love it. Get over yourself or chances are, it'll be the first and last family holiday you have together.

Original poster
MrsMissMs · 01/08/2008 13:53

He's wanted to take his kids to Florida for years but had never had the opportunity to take them. I booked the entire thing as a suprise for everyone. He cried when I told him. I'm just trying to make it right for everyone.

OP posts:
mindalina · 01/08/2008 13:54

Ah that's really nice of you Now make it even nicer for him by letting him have plenty of input into what you all do together

nervousal · 01/08/2008 13:56

but surely letting people do what they want to do is how you can "make it right"?

Think of it another way - go to Disney and when its crap think of how smug you can be when you say "told you so..."

lulumama · 01/08/2008 13:56

i cannot beleive you have told his kids that disney is crap, so that you get your way, and don;t have to go! you come across like a petulant spoilt child, stamping her feet because it's not fair!

SmallShips · 01/08/2008 13:57

Told you i didn't make it up! Some American animal man, said it was a racoon! That's one hell of a racoon!

MrsFluffleHasAWuffle · 01/08/2008 13:58

Make it right for everyone? Well then start thinking of EVERYONE who is going and not just yourself! You have time to salvage this if you really want to and in the interest of forging a family bond I would start reorganising right away, or there will not be a family TO bond if you carry on being like this.

I'd have told you to stuff your holiday by now I reckon.

lulumama · 01/08/2008 14:00

do you see a future with this man?

if so, you need to make sure you consider his children as much as your own, and thikn about the family as a whole

the fact that your version of compromise is 'my way or the highway' would have me running for the hills

EffiePerine · 01/08/2008 14:00

SS: ????

Original poster
MrsMissMs · 01/08/2008 14:00

Its his fault its ended up like this. I shouldn't have told anyone it was even booked until nearer the time but I knew how badly he wanted to go and wanted to make him happy but it wasn't good enough, he has to go and change stuff and spoil everything.

OP posts:
ThatBigGermanPrison · 01/08/2008 14:00

You can't have the holiday for him, even if you have paid for it. You can't dictate what he will and won't like and therefore shouldn't do. He's not six.

How about a true compromise.

each of you choose 3 things you must do that the other doesn't want to, and do them at the same time - ie spend 3 days seperately. then do everything else together.