Glam & fab part 7 - from strength to strength

[UC]

Thought I'd start this one off on a positive spin? Hope you all find it..

Thanks lily

ginny - he could well be dithering because he knows I won't go if he doesn't tell her.

I've booked the holidays now, so I suggested to him if we don't go, that the 3 of us just get a cheap flight somewhere in the sun and make the most of the time off. I'm not sure I'd like to go without ds. Would rather have a holiday on my own with ds than on my own with H right now!

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I can understand that Baffy
Sounds like your ds is more stimulating company too!

Can you tell I'm feeling bitchy today???

I didn't make it last night Dior. I was late getting back and a friend popped in for a cuppa, then by the time I'd done dinner, washed up, bathed the kids who were filthy after having jumped in loads of muddy puddles in the park, it was just too late to go and I just crashed out!
I'm feeling a bit tired of talking about it all now too. I've had to go over it and over it all so many times, my head needed a break.
I'll go next week though.

ginny

btw - I think he got off lightly with a stroppy answerphone message. I think I'd have done much worse in the circumstances!

FFS - He just phoned and said sorry he didn't answer the door but he was on the Sambucas last night.
What a cushy life he has. Pissing it up all day yesterday, nice lie in this morning, then back to the pub again today.
No ties, no responsibilities, no kids to pick up, no work / childcare to juggle - easy life.
His life is one big holiday.

My life is full of hassle, guilt trips, work etc.

It stinks!!!

aw ginny, i know how feel coz I feel same when H tells me of various jaunts he goes off on.

comfort yourself with the thought that he's not happy even if he kids himself that he is. and your life, despite all it's challenges, is immeasurably more fulfilling than his ever will be and at least you will be able to remember watching your kids grow up and take pride in how you have raised them.

he will only have a drunken/hungover blur of memories of his dd which is incredibly

ginny

But his life is one big f up. Even his own daughter has been on the receiving end of his crap.

He is drinking himself into an early grave because he is lonely and unhappy. Only he can get himself out of that mess, but sadly, he is now a lonely unhappy addict. And until he faces up to that fact and gets help, his life can only go one way. Downhill.

How does he actually fund this lifestyle? I'm assuming this can't go on indefinitely.

You, on the other hand, are raising two beautiful young men. You are holding down a job and keeping a family home. You have a future, and everything exciting just around the corner that comes with that.

Until he faces up to this, he has no future. And is destined to become a lonely bitter old man.

I know it hurts. But he's gone beyone help. And his behaviour can't be tolerated anymore.

If you can find the strength to let go and leave him to it, I'm sure you'll find the happiness you deserve soon. I know who's shoes I'd rather be in! xx

Thanks - that was the kick up the bum I needed . You are both right, I just had a bad morning. I hate working in the school hols and ds1 really doesn't like going to the childminder but I really don't have any choice. So I started the day feeling guilty and shite and its just made worse when I hear what a ball he's having. He doesn't even have the decency to seem remorseful or sad about things, I swear he seems more happy go lucky now than ever.
He has just finished a big job before we went away so I presume he's still pissing away living off that money.
I have stepped away physically, but I'm struggling to do it emotionally, he's finding it easier to do because he's drowning his emotions in Sambuca!
I need another holiday!!!

Dior someone looking for you

Ginny i really am sorry but he is definately not 'having a ball' even if he is trying to paint that picture to you.
Am sure ds will be fine now !

Tannee are these any good for you ?

or this one but there is only one ticket

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Dior - probably is your period. I get a bit
paranoid hyper-sensitive around that time of the month.
Thanks Lilyloo
Baffy - still hoping

I need to get an injunction out against X. He's just burst into my house drunk (I forgot to lock the front door ), screaming and swearing and frightened the kids.
I'm thinking of calling the police tomorrow so they can log that he's getting more and more aggressive.
Any one have any other suggestions?

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Oh no Ginnny . Hope you are all ok. Yes I think you need to take out an injunction against him to protect yourself and the kids. Is there anyone who you could stay with until it's in place? Do you feel safe if the door is locked? Afterall, he is still nearby. Sorry, don't mean to scare you even more. Has he ever been violent?

Doors are locked and bolted and step dad is coming to change the locks tomorrow. He's resorted to abusive phone calls and answerphone messages now.
I think an injunction might make things worse, make him even angrier and he'd probably ignore it anyway. I don't know what to do. I just want a quiet life again like the one I had before I met him.
He says because he knocked and I didn't answer (I was up getting ds2 a drink) he thought he could come in!
He has been violent - not hit me or anything, but shoved a bit and had me against the wall by my throat before.
He's so out of control, the things he is saying are just awful. I can't take much more of this.

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Ginny - log all the incidents with the police, even the one that seem trivial like phonecalls, text messages etc. Can you get an appointment with a solicitor - you may not have grounds for an injunction straight away but you can get a warning letter sent which should scare him off.

One word of warning - you have to say what you mean. It's no good telling him via a solicitor's letter that you don't want any contact with him and then let him in when you feel sorry for him etc.

I'm going to send you a message on FB so you can email me back. Feel free to ignore me if you'd rather I butt out

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Hello darling