Glam & fab part 7 - from strength to strength

[UC]

Thought I'd start this one off on a positive spin? Hope you all find it..

Hi.
Baffy, Maybe he's in love with her, they do say love is blind and I think we are all living proof of that!!

MacD - you poor thing! Can't believe H just pottered about while all that was going on. He needed to hear your rant, why should he coast along like this while you are trying to hold it all together on your own.

TFM - thanks for the emails, nice to know you are lurking even if you aren't posting!!

XP is still in denial about us splitting, he called yesterday afternoon from the pub to ask if I wanted to join him for a drink and then asked if he could take me for a meal tonight. Obviously I refused! Then he left a drunken message on my answerphone last night saying how much he loves me. His dd has been texting me asking if I'm OK, and I wonder if he's asking her to check on me?

Apart from a horrible cold though, I'm doing fine. I've got a busy weekend ahead, out with the girls tonight, then a wedding tomorrow and Mum's for lunch on Sunday. As long as I keep busy and out of the house as much as possible I'm OK.

i vote totally mad but who knows what's going on with NM!

tbh baffy, i'd want H to insist on a paternity test.

hello everyone else

ginny, was totally to read about the holiday. can't believe he'd do that not just to you but his own dd too.

on the flip side, awful as it was maybe it's for the best in terms of finality for you. you sound in good spirits despite the cold.

mac, don't beat yourself up over losing your rag with H this morning. I am para-phrasing something someone who's opinion I hold very dear but basically, you can't control everything and you can't keep all the balls up in the air for everyone.

I am consciously going to take a step back and I'm going to try to start saying no.

honestly, you need to seperate the finances as best you can then step right away from H. Don't let him drag you down and ruin you financially.

I'm glad you're ok ginny and keeping busy. Been thinking of you.

Maybe NM does love her... who knows! As long as he sticks with her and keeps her quiet I shouldn't really care should I!

Hi paddle Don't worry I'll definitely be insisting on the paternity test. I'd bet my life it's H's. But there's always a chance isn't there, and best for everyone involved that we know for definite from the start, including the child!

Shame there's no doubt about who the mother is. I feel sorry for the poor little mite having that psycho for a mum.
Hope he pulls his finger out and tells her soon.

Ginny keep busy busy busy !

Baffy poor por little mite if they both mad as each other

Where is everybody?
I hope by the lack of posts it means you are all having brilliant weekends.
Mine's been OK so far, 2 nights out in a row . XP came round with some DVD's for the boys yesterday, so I left them watching them and met up with a friend for a drink. If he's using them to make me weaken he's wasting his time.
Going out with my Mum a bit later then to hers for tea, so that's another weekend over!
I really hate Sundays when I'm on my own, the week is fine and even Saturdays are OK but come Sunday I really start to feel it.
Oh well - back to the ironing. I'm nearly there, I can see the top of the laundry basket now although there is a load on the line and another load in the machine waiting to go on.

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Well done you Dior, you are doing amazingly well!
Enjoy your Pimms!

Ginny not seen the top of my laundry basket for at least two years

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Morning everyone

Dior you're doing so well. It's fantastic. Sounds like you deserved that pimms.

It's so quiet on here at the moment isn't it... come back everone!

Ginny I'm glad you're keeping busy. Are you ok?

PC how's things?

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all's good thanks

H is gearing up to speak to SG so I'm waiting for the fallout of that...

He's been really attentive though. I was at a wedding on Saturday, and the bride walked down the aisle to the same music we had for our wedding! Then the registrar did the talk about marriage being a lifetime committment between 1 man and 1 woman, to the exclusion of all others... so as you can imagine, when H texted to see how things were he got blasted!!
He took it on the chin really well though (and so he should!) and was really supportive saying he'd rather I didn't bottle up how I'm feeling and he'd rather know etc...

I took the opportunity to get a few other things out too about his reasons for trying, whether it's about us or simply for ds etc etc and he was very reassuring that he's doing this because he wants to and wants to be with me.
So that's all good.

Ds is an absolute star though and I had a lovely weekend with him. The hotel was fabulous, the bed was mahooosive and we had a jacuzzi in the room! Me and ds put bubbles in it (although then we had to switch the power off as the bubbles were taking over the bathroom!! )
and I had a glass of champagne, he had his beaker of water, and we sat in the jacuzzi listening to music through the bathroom speakers! Anyone watching us would have thought we were mad!!

Shame H wasn't there to enjoy it I know he'd have loved it. Stupid stupid man to miss out on so much in these first few years of ds's life.

Let's just see if the talk happens now...

erm, 'scuse me but..........

wasn't H supposed to have had this conversation over the weekend as opposed to gearing up for it now?

mixed weekend here. more D&Ms with H but no progress. we're agreed on how much we value the friendship that we have now but he just doens't feel capable of anything else right now.

it does make me sad but it also makes me more focussed on moving on and taking up the opportunities that are out there as a single parent.

honestly, i'm not 100% sure I could live with hime/anyone again anyway. Men are too big a bloody overhead IMO!

I hope we can retain the friendship but I expect it will get lost/diluted as one or other of moves on. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for H having dd on weekends etc.

We haven't officially agreed to divorce but just going on the types of conversations we are having, I know that I can't tolerate this halfway house/limbo crap for a great deal longer.

We have a couple more things planned and he has promised to figure out an access schedule with all the kids. Once that's in place I think I will be taking a step back and I will really really really start to consider allowing him to have DD for weekends so that I can get a bit of my life back.

Baffy that sounds priceless. Ds is going to have such lovely memories of his childhood, despite what H does or doesn't do.
I'm afraid to say I bottled out of the wedding reception on Saturday. I'm just not ready to do weddings yet, I feel too bitter!
Hope the talk happens this week - have you sorted out the camping situation for the weekend yet?
I had a bit of a wobbly day yesterday, I really miss him on Sundays, but today I feel much better. I'm meeting a friend and her dc in the park this afternoon, then Mum's coming for tea and I've got the Alanon meeting tonight. Then its back to work again tomorrow.
Hope everyone else is OK today.

Camping situation is all up in the air but we'll sort it one way or another. That's if I go of course.

PC has made me quite look forward to it and see it as a bit of an adventure. I think we'd have a laugh if it's just 1 night. You can cope with anything for 1 night can't you.

H is getting cold feet though. Genuine cold feet. Or because he doesn't want to speak to OW and knows I won't go if he doesn't...

He was supposed to PC. I do know he worked about 16 hours yesterday. But he could've done it on Saturday. I know he's stalling.

I'm not getting angry. This weekend is a natural deadline isn't it. It's his choice. If it's not done by the weekend, I not only won't be going to the wedding, I won't be doing anything with him ever again.

PC that's Sounds like you're communicating well. But are you happy with this or just convincing yourself it's for the best?

Ginny you sound like you're doing so well. Keep it up. Keeping busy is definitely the best thing. I always found the night times the hardest. Once ds was asleep there was this void that used to be time for me and H. But over time you find ways of filling those voids. I actually now quite like the fact I can read, pamper myself, have a long bath, or even just go to sleep at 8pm if I want! I'm not sure how I'll cope fitting H back in if it ever comes to that!

Baffy i hope he does it i really do looks like he is going to put it off as long as possible though!
Sounds like a lovely weekend with ds though!

Ginny glad your over your wobble. Maybe try and organise some things for the next few Sundays if you know that's your vulnerable time.

Paddle that it is coming to that. Are you ok with it or not ? Suppose he isn't really giving you a choice is he ?

All ok here bar the money worries! DP is about to start his new job again so everything up in the air about my job and whether i will be returning to work or not. I still have few months left yet to decide but that will be on no money as mat pay due to end!

Hope everyone else is ok where is everyone ???

It was a lovely weekend lily
I knew he'd put it off as long as possible. Things are all quiet at the moment and I bet he's enjoying it. Me and him are getting on well. she's blissfully unaware and getting on with plan B...

All the while I'm the guilty secret in the background.
That's why it has to happen soon.

Anyway, no point stressing. He knows where I stand and we'll know for definite one way or the other this week.

Do you know what you want to do about work yet lily?

HW is away on holiday isn't she. TFM is busy with school holidays. Not sure about cash, lilybubble, UC, LL etc. Haven't heard from sugar in a while either. I guess no posts hopefully means everything is ok for everyone.

nope not much choice in it is there.

i know he's struggling with it all again now tho. just worried that it'll all be too much for him again.

either way, it has to be for the best. i can't be his therapist/unfailing support thru thick n thin forever. i can't tolerate him popping in and out when it suits him.

told him that i want to be with someone who is passionate about me and wants to be with me.

Which is 100% right Paddle!

Baffy would still like to stay at home but not if it means struggling more than we are iyswim! Will just have to suss out how his new job goes and figure out how much of a nightmare childcare might be too!

Totally agree pc. Living as you are is soul destroying. You have to be with someone who wants you as much as you want them. and is prepared to put in the same amount of effort to keep that. Doesn't sounds like he's capable of that? Perhaps he doesn't want it enough iyswim?

I hope it's not just the issues around the other children and the demands of psycho mum's that's clouding things. I know he struggles with all of that. But that's not yours and dd's problem is it

It looks to me like he's on the right track. But it could take years for him to sort himself out properly. And I do agree with you that it's probably better to know where you stand and start to move on, than live in this limbo half-relationship indefinitely...

hallo everyone, I'm back and feeling TERRIBLE - disaster on the V Festival front. Just logged onto my emails and found that the ticket agency has been let down and can't supply my tickets. AAAARGHH!!!!!!!!!!! How am I going to tell DD? she was already upset about a couple of bands dropping out of the UnderAge festival last Friday, but at least she was able to go. She's been looking forward to this for months! They seem to be available on ebay but I'm loathe to part with huge wads of money and then find they're fakes or something.

Apart from that, I had a lovely hols on Alderney (shaky ).

Will catch up with you all later when I've calmed down.

OMG Tanee that's awful!

Are they allowed to just do that? I guess it's in the small print. But surely they should only be allowed to sell tickets that they actually have?? Poor dd

Tanee, that's shit
try gumtree and also

www.getmein.com/festivals/v-festival-tickets.html?googleppc&s_kwcid=v%20festival%20tickets|109187036 1&gclid=CObbte3thZUCFRMXQgodYHV3rA
and
www.swapmyticket.co.uk/tickets/?cid=2