Halloo girls
Baffy, aah hope ds enjoyed his first day. Mine's just started 6th form at my old school and seeing your entry reminded me of her first day at playschool. Where have the years gone??
Ernest, hope you are feeling better. It does sound like you need to work on getting him to understand that you are feeling particularly vulnerable at the moment, and it's not that he's got to avoid even speaking to another woman, it's that he has to be more sensitive to your feelings and not FLIRT. He may not see it as flirting (I know, DP has complained that I sometimes flirt with his friends, and since I realised it bothered him, I flirt with him instead) - but he has to realise that if YOU see it as flirting, he's hurting YOU and if he cares about your feelings, he just needs to watch himself a bit more.
Sorry he spent the night on a bender - don't I know about that! But it maybe shows that he realises on some level that he WAS wrong. Nothing like guilt for making them drink.
Ginnny, keep up the good work - he needs to keep of the alcohol for MONTHS - not days - to prove his intentions.
Ratty and MHIS - you are doing so well. I would always say, listen to the counsellors, but you have to do what you instinctively feel is right. You can't hug when you don't feel like it - the hug would just feel wrong to him. And if you feel like hugging, do it. I hugged DP last year when he first said he didn't want to live with me any more. He tried to shake it off and told me not to touch him - but I did it anyway and it really, really melted the ice that night. He's finding it hard to accept that I greet his bad moments with love, but I'm just doing what feels right.
We have our first proper Relate session tomorrow - wish us luck! DP said the other night that he realises the initial counsellor was right, that he needs to address his issues - mainly problems with his father. He said that ideally, he would have liked us to have kept our own flats, that he really wanted us to buy a place together so that DD could have her own room at last (she and I shared, not ideal and it probably helped kill my marriage). However, having done the deed, he's will to try Relate to see if it can help him deal with moving forward.
His mum gave us a hooge box of plates and cutlery last week - housewarming gift - so he's better shape up as she's treating us like newlyweds .
Oh, by the way, I wasn't chosen as a councillor candidate. Phew. After the grilling I got last Thursday I guessed I wasn't up to it. They still want to 'groom' me for the 2010 elections, but I'm not sure anymore I want to be groomed .
I have a new lodger - a super intelligent uni professor from Geneva - Russian/Moldavian/Roumanian origin. She was delighted to find herself lodging with an historian, but she is SO eager to talk that we are finding her exhausting! She never stops talking & she's only been studying English for 2 months! Ovbiously has a gift. I just googled her and found she has a brain the size of a planet. I really hope she makes friends in her class and goes out with them, or we aren't going to have any time to ourselves for the next fortnight!