Glam & fab part 7 - from strength to strength

[UC]

Thought I'd start this one off on a positive spin? Hope you all find it..

Baffy
I'm so sorry. I think you had to be pushed to the very limit with him before you could move on and he's more than done that to you.
You will come out of this the winner, stronger and happier than ever. He on the other hand will always regret what he's done, especially as ds grows up and starts to understand more and loses all respect for him. And as for her, the fact that she is still with him after all this shows what a desperate low life she really is. Their relationship is doomed from the start and their poor child will be the victim of their sick and twisted behaviour.
Hold your head high and move on knowing you did everything in your power to save your marriage.
x

Baffy are you ok what happened with H - you can tell us anything we will not ever judge you ?? Thinking of you lots

Baffy thinking of you x

Baffster you are not pathetic or stupid fgs you have been with him since you were little more than a kid yourself, he knew what you had been through with your Dads OW and child and how much of a betrayal his behaviour is. Of course you want it to work out and to think the best of him, but sometimes in life the best, but not easiest, thing to to is to admit that you cant have what you want

Obviously it is up to you but pleeeeese dont let him keep doing this to you, you are doing yourself such an injustice...its not what he says that counts but what he does. At least you stuck to your guns and didnt go to the wedding - it shows you have the strength to deal with this

Take care.

OMG just realised my son is customising a clarks shoe box into a "house" with a large pair of scissors...joys of having an creative child - problem is he leaves all his snippings all over the floor!!

WW i remember ds and dd doing that with half a dozen boxes that housed their toys at xmas! LOL

Well camping cancelled it's blowing a gale my friend rang and said they were up all night holding tent down so we haven't gone but reasoning about the weather is futile to a 3 and 6 year old who were all packed ready to go Hoping it may improve so we can go later in week

Baffy - I think hw is right. I doubt he will leave you alone. Don't feel stupid or weak. You were brave and gave him a chance. He blew it. He has no one else to blame but himself. What a twisted triangle with him ow and om. FFS what the hell is going on there. Actually, don't bother answering cos all I am concerned about is you. It is probably less gut wrenching than last time in the sense that you were prepared that this could happen, but the finality of your sitution must be hard to accept. I often think about this. My way of coping with dh being unfaithful was to set boundaries so that if he ever did it again, I would be off. No questions - just off. I think about it sometimes and how I would feel knowing that we are finished for good. Maybe it is a kind of preparation. I don't know. Hw's h is probably unsettled wondering if Hw is wondering whether she believes that he will be faithful. Well tbh it is hard to have faith when you have been so badly betrayed. Do they even deserve it? I don't know. Sorry, am rambling. Anyway, thinking of you lots and please come on here and vent. No one will judge you - we are here to support you. xxx

Lilyloo - sorry the camping was cancelled. Your kids must be very disappointed.

Sorry everyone else for not posting much. Feeling a bit disconnected from things at the moment - don't think I'm being rude

Last sentence means please don't think I'm being rude iyswim - not that I don't think I'm being rude

Hey Baffy hope you are OK - I know you cant get on as much now.

Lilyloo - probably the right decision about the camping (been there, done that in this weather and it is so not an enjoyable experience)

Been told to F off twice on Mumsnet today so veered into the path of the ones one would would not socialise with in RL - oh well Sometimes if I see someone being bullied on here I just have to stick up for them (or warn them to put on their hard hat) - problem is that puts you in the firing line doesnt it!! Busy day in RL tomorrow so I think a break will do me good!

Has TFM namechanged or left us...hey where are yooooooooooooo?

WW saw you on the mum said something that i thought a bit out of order but i dare say it here omg get shot down in flames.
Yeah all for supporting others but bloody hell hoe far will this lot go 'she may have had a bad day you know' Think we between us have had lot's of 'bad' days but still not ok to call our dc's ___ '
Bloody hell you have to be so careful here all in the name of not 'judging'

Hoping to go tom

Oh I hope it goes OK for you - my last trip was how your friend described it and I have to confess I havent been since Its when peoples gazebos start blowing about during the night it gets so scarey!

Must admit when people get snippy I feel like either quitting or name changing - ive always been of the opinion that if the only thing you can say to someone is abusive then probably wiser to say nothing. Still shes having a horrible day and I had wished her luck earlier (obviously she, and her friend, missed that bit)

hi not sure if I understand this thread..is it for women who have been cheated on? If so can I join?

I have a thread going of my own re my situation but would be good to be on here with others going through the same too.

Baffy - thin k you have posted on my thread before. So sorry to hear what you are going through

Hi MHIS - of course you are welcome, its not an exclusive clique you know .
We are not all women who have been cheated on, just having various problems with relationships. We all started off with threads of our own and it got confusing so we started this one so we were all in one place!
Hi Lily - the forecast for the rest of the week is quite good, even 25 degrees at the weekend so hope your camping trip is a success. Poor kids all packed up and ready . Bloody weather!
I'm all excited today as I get the boys back this afternoon. I've missed them soooo much, can't wait to squeeze them!
I think TFM is around just not posting, saw on FB that her son did well in his GCSE's and some beautiful photos of her dd.
Hope everyone else is OK - Baffy especially, been thinking about you

welcome mhis

As ginnny says we all have our various problems - and we try and support each other as much as we can.

I hope we are non judgemental too.

It may take some time to catch up with everything that has gone on but hopefully you will soon get the gist.

My h had an affair - followed the usual pattern . We are still working through it - i get a bit tired of it all from time time. As i am sure my h does too. Like when we sat together and watched the programme mutal friends on tv last night. Generally though we are good and i am much stronger than i have been for a long time.

Out ot meet a friend today and probably have to dodge the showers.

Hi HW. I saw that on TV last night. Must be hard to watch things like when you've been through it.
WW - I saw those threads! They are unbelievable, its more like Bitchnet on here some days ! I really think it must put new people off and make them scared to post which is a shame because there is so much support on here too.
I tend to just stick to the threads I know - much safer!

Hello everyone (for some reason I heard that like Barney from the Simpsons in my head - I think the kids have had control of the tv for too long!)

Must admit I did consider giving MN up as a bad job yesterday. My intention was to stand up for a poster who I felt was being unjustly bullied. It was percieved as me bullying someone who thought they may be losing their child. This is despite the fact that I had earlier wished her luck, I had pointed out she was having a bad day and I had assumed, an hour and half after her posting her situation, that she had gone to hospital and was busy watching a monitor of her childs heart beating (as I did in a similar situation). I did semi sink to their level and gave it some attitude but resisted the overwhelming urge to suggest to the people swearing at me they should write poetry as they were so articulate

The problem is I am now watching someone else (who admittedly is ignorant about HIV) but is really upset and nastily being bullied by the mob on another thread. Much as I hate myself for being a coward I am not going to say anything...just a little disappointed at the moment about how bloody horrible some people on here are being. What is wrong with educating her in an intelligent and articulate way...how is this pack mentality helping anything (sigh)

I need a drink

Has anyone heard from Baffy - whatever you decide we are here to support you

Hi MHIS

I hate it when threads go like that too

Its like collective PMT on here sometimes Wily.
Hope everyone has had a good day. The dc are back with a vengeance. After 5 hours sitting still in a car they are hyper, tired, and very stroppy with each other.
back to normal life again .

Welcome MHIS everyone welcome here just saves us rahshing the history when we need advice/rant - you will get to know everyones story - think most of us know yours from your recent threads
When one of us has time we can post a summary
Family down for last week or so lovely to have company but hard to see H and our dysfunctional relationship through their eyes
Struggling at moment to be honest not sure why - feel the end coming perhaps ?????
Few texts from Baffy yesterday - she is superstar as always seems to be coping

Glad to hear that mcD. Send her our virtual support.

Thanks everyone - didn't want to gatecrash I'm in the proess of reading through this threadf and gettin gto know what you are allgoing/been through....I know about a few of you already from my thread.

Summary of my 'relationship'

Been with DH 14yrs, married for 1yr
DD born 8mths ago premature
DH has been having an affair with a work colleague since DD was born. Found out in May about his 'emotional affair'. Decided to make things work but he wasn't really putting any effort in.
Went on our first family holiday with DD in July and he received a txt from OW which confirmed it wasn't over.
Came home immediately and I asked him to leave. Found out over a week later that he had slept with her when DD was only about 3wks old
DH is fluctuating between wanting to get back together and then not sure what he wants but says he isn't seeing OW in case he jepordises any chance of getting back with me....erm didn't having an affair do that ??

I confused and fluctuate between wanting to chops his b*s off and wanting to get back to being a family.

Just taking my time with any decisions and taking time out from him and our relationship.

Some days are easier than others, some are hell and make me feel as though I'm not moving on at all, as I'm sure most of you know from your own experiences

Anyway best get started on reading this thread!

LOL MHIS - you may be here some time, we are quite prolific as we dont just use it as a relationship thread but chat as well (this is about the 4th or 5th thread we have had)

"collective PMT" I like that...there is certainly a lot of vitriol about at the moment - probably safest to stay away from the other mobs until the kids go back to school and hopefully everyone will settle back down again then.

Its not only this thread MHIS there are another 6 threads before this one to plough through
Happy reading!!!!!

It makes me so mad when men admit to an emotional affair - 99.9% of these are sexual imo. And i bet the ones that are not sexual because the woman refuses (there are some woman with morals!!)
A good quote i read was that a man will only tell the bare minimum to 'get away' with it.

Also as if that makes it any better - if a man is putting in more emotional energy into any other relationship - be it work hobbies or friends it is the wrong balance.

Sorry about that rant.

more like 8th or 9th LOL!

hello everyone.

I am having a very indulgent and cruisy week with dd at the GPs.

I am a bit that I have not organised anything in the way of socialising. It's a real missed opportunity but tbh I don't actually feel like going out on the razzle.

Have done heaps of organising and de-cluttering at home. Have enjoyed a couple of quiet evenings with nice nibbles, wine and a movie. Of course I could do this anytime with DD home but there is a huge feeling of "not responsible" that is lovely to enjoy! I don't have to keep going into her room every half hour to check her or tip-toe around the flat.

The big highlight of my week was I actually went training last night. It was wonderful to be back in a boat (am feeling it today tho lol!) and see my friends. Very mixed emotions tho as it only serves to highlight what I am missing too.

If DM is agreeable I am hoping to get out 2 or 3 times per month.

Am considering refitting my kitchen too as a few things need replacing/repairing. I'm sure it will add a certain value to my selling/renting potential. Basically if I rent then I have to fix those things anyway.

So, if I move I will not be able to paddle again and I will not be able to enjoy a swanky new kitchen.

But, if I stay I will have to tolerate nutter neighbours, have no nearby family help for babysitting etc and dd won't go to as good a school as I would like.

Decisions, decisions and I really cannot make up my mind what I want to do.

Sorry for rambling on in a mee meeee meeeeeeeeeeee way!

Hope everyone else is doing okay and spirits lift for those in the doldrums

Lily, get yer waterproofs on and get in that tent!!!!

Wily, don't let them drag you down mate.

Mac, the toughest part is when you have to accept what you've got is dysfunctional. Most of the time we can gloss it over but when others are around it's impossible to ignore. I am going thru similar at the mo.

Baffy, you catching up with H&A? I'm recording it so will have a mega session this weekend!

Dior, still raining?

MHIS, welcome.

TFM, hope you're lurking and doing ok.

Where's UC & Tanee?

LL, Ginny, how're things with you?

Who've I missed? Sorry if I have missed anyone!

Rant away HW I'm just so annoyed with myself for giving him the benefit of the doubt for so long when in my heart I knew it had to have been sexual

Feeling stronger this week tho.