Glam & fab part 7 - from strength to strength

[UC]

Thought I'd start this one off on a positive spin? Hope you all find it..

thanks lily, and thanks so much lemonstartree - I really appreciate the post and the support

xx

Fucking hell Baffy I am heartbroken for you. I agree - he must be very sick. But you are right - you gave it everything you had. You will never lie awake at night wondering if you should have invested more. There was nothing else you could've done. How did you find out? Will understand if you don't feel like saying. Was very brave of you to come on and say what you said.......even though it's online it must hurt so much to type the words Take care of yourself, keep busy and enjoy ds (as I know you always do). Hope your friends are around for you. It sounds like you have a good support network.

baffy that si so terrible
and i fear what will happend to my sister
men eh

Baffy - so sorry it has come to this

I did type a whole load and my computer seems to have lost it

Anyway keep posting here we are here for you.

Baffy, I am so on your behalf. I'm tempted to slag them both off for at least four or five pages but that won't make you feel any better.

I just cannot believe he has disrespected you so much and so callously and casually abused your incredible love and trust and optimism.

You have been the only person to believe in him and stick by him thru all of this and you certainly don't deserve to be treated like this.

You can hold your head up tho. You can look DS in the eye and know that you did everything within your power to hold your family unit together.

Your DS is an amazing little boy and you can take credit for that. You know that you have the strength and integrity to make his life happy and secure but I know that you never wanted to do that on your own.

If you want to chat or need to get away there is always space down here for you.

I have so much respect for you in how you have handled all this. You're an amazing woman and way way way too good for him.

I can't help but say, you really are best off out of the fucked up existence that H is creating with OW but I know that won't be any comfort today or for a while yet.

Just look after yourself and DS and come on back when you're feeling up to it.

oh baffy. I don't really know what to add. But [sad ][an gry] [sad ] for you and DS.

But your future is bright. Brighter than the last 2 years have been. XXXX

Oh Baffy - im so sorry this has happened - are you sure this is true and she is not just spinning you a line? I have to say I hoped I was wrong but I suspected this would be the case (my ex was a liar of the first order so I know how convincing they can be)

GW has proven himself time & time again to be untruthful and selfish...not because of anything you have done but because that is the person he choses to be. You have a clear conscience, you have tried your best for your son and now you need to do what is best for both of you, leave this pair to their shallow and destructive mess..persue your plan B im sure it will make you happier in the long run.

I feel for the OM how hurt is he going to be if he finds out how he is being deceived. I always find it hard to believe that some people can just go about their lives with no conscience regading how they hurt other people.

Ginny...you norty girl but we have all had the post break up shag...I can remember saying to my horrified workmates "better the devil you know..." and yeah they told me how ill advised it was too!!

Hi everyone else

slightly off topic but my neighbour helped me carry something heavy into the house this evening.

when i moved here he and OH were separated, a few months later they were back together. he proceeds to tell me that he's been playing away and she's found out.

i'm friendly with both of them but i gave him a piece of my mind! asked him how she was and he said "she knows what I'm like, it's not my fault god made me with loads of hormones and put pretty girls on earth".

don't think there'll be much chat going on with him any longer.

twat and scum! 2 under 5 as well.

You have some lovely neighbours Paddle I find it hard to be restrained around this topic now too
Typical T**t answer too!

oh and he went on to tell me that conventional relationships were all in the past now. apparently it's all about fuck buddies.

i got the very uncomfortable feeling he was testing the water with me.

bluergh! he's so not even close to being attractive and the bloody gall of him, clearly thinks he's bloody gorgeous.

yeh, nice neighbours I have eh!

Think i've seen him on Jeremy Kyle

Message withdrawn

I would say he was testing the water Paddle Pig - what an idiot.

Hmm I dont think everyone has to have a "conventional" relationship but I do think honesty should be non negotiable. I had a buddy on and off for 10 years (I prefer to refer to him as my friend with benefits - or fwb) he was crap as a serious boyfriend, I didnt want to get into anything serious as I was still licking my wounds, but he was far too enjoyable to let go completely Which is fine if you have discussed it and agreed and neither is secretly hoping for more...more often than not though when someones partner makes out they have an open relationship his wife is completely unware of the fact

thanks for the support everyone

can't sleep and ds has been amazing, asleep in 2 mins at 7 o clock, so am at a loose end! much prefer it when he's a little monster and up watching big brother with me at 10 o clock!

cod thanks for the message too. how's your sister doing?

LL you're right, just to type the words takes every ounce of strength. I have no idea if I'll ever get this out in RL!

I found out when I took ds to the park on Saturday and bumped into OW who was walking round with her NM. She has a bump now She saw me and sort of hovered for a minute. Then walked over

Ds was playing a few feet away and I just couldn't cause a scene. I just stared at her. And she said 'I think we need to talk'. I said I had nothing to say and tried to walk away. But she said one sentance - 'When H left yours on xx night he didn't have to go to work. He had to get back to the flat as I was in waiting for him.' I didn't need to hear much more. I knew straight away she was telling the truth.

I stood in shock. She did some speech about how much she loved him and the promises he'd made / gifts he'd bought etc. It's all a blur to be honest. But I took in enough to know it was all the same promises and gifts he gave to me.

She was saying she'd show me xyz message on her phone to 'prove' things but I didn't need to see it in black and white to believe it.

Then in the next cruel twist of fate my phone beeped. Message off H asking how me and ds were. And within 10 seconds... did OW get a message?? No. He called her!!!!!!

She answered and said to him would you like to speak to your son?!

And at that point I picked ds up and walked away from the sick games. Forever.

The apologies have started now...
He did 'want' to give me a chance. He just doesn't know why he messed up again

Have had fun trying to explain that when you 'want' to do something, then you do it. Nobody forced him to give things a go with me. And nobody forced him to keep having sex with her (in the f*cking bed her NM has bought... and in the flat her NM has bought!!!) FFS it's sick. All of it is sick
And clearly, since day 1, he has been doing exactly what he wanted...

His pathetic wife just needed to find the balls to stand up to him once and for all.

Anyway, thank you all for the support. It means a lot. Frankly, I feel f*cking stooooopid for being taken in again! I think my RL line on this will be that I tried my best, but he just couldn't be the husband I deserved. I think that sums it up.

p.s I have a new phone and got a text before off (what I assume!) was one of you lovely ladies, but I deleted it when trying to press reply! I hate new phones!
It was just a number though, I don't think I have all my numbers on the sim card and they're probably on the old phone - so can you just do one more quick text telling me I'm stooopid and then I'll reply! Thank you though. It was lovely and it meant a lot xx

Message withdrawn

Baffy, you're not pathetic so you can just stop right there with that kind of talk Missy!

I think you've got the perfect way to present this to anyone in RL. You don't have anything to be ashamed of and you are certainly not stooopid to have given every ounce of your hope and strength to nurturing the future you wanted.

Now you can invest all that hope and strenght in the man who is out there that will meet you on equal ground and return your investment back to you.

DD is away with GPs and I just got a fright when I walked out the sitting room to see her bedroom door open adn bed empty!

I crave time to myself but when I get it, I really miss her!

I sent you a text about 5:45pm, could've been me!

Baffy so so sorry - am afraid have eyes full of tears ...god I remember those feelings so well that feeling of shock then despair that it is/must be true....
My new mantra is ......I DESERVE MORE...and whenever I feel sad or wavering I repeat it over and over in my head...I foolishly still love him but even if I haven't just had a weekend full of lies the very fact that I suspect I may have really is my answer.....
Be strong we can get through this and then I will bloody come up there and we can go on the lash/pull together and show them just what they threw away....
Remember YOU DESERVE MORE !!

Baffy you have nothing to explain in RL other than you have realised that you and ds need to be put first and h will never do that.
Don't feel like you have to explain his actions to anyone. That's down to him.
He really has used every line though now hasn't he so he has no excuses left

McD what happened at weekend ? Did he go ?

Thanks guys

Feel better already. PC definitely got your number now thank you.

I'm nothing like last time. No meltdown or floods of tears. Just anger and disgust. I guess deep down I knew it was coming.

Still glad I held onto that hope and gave him the rope chance to hang himself try and prove it to me. Silly silly man.

I used to lie in bed at night thinking how beautiful/sexy/gorgeous etc etc OW must be...

I'm so glad I saw her on Saturday. She could not be further away from that! And she is exactly what he deserves!

As soon as we can we do definitely need a good night out!!!

H has just turned up

back on when I can xx

Message withdrawn

Baffy so sorry

Went to a party on sunday and met a georgous lady - who has been through it too. She had no bitterness at all - which i have to say was a bit unbelievalbe.

She said that whatever promises he told her now she would not believe as there will come a time when he would do it again - she believes he was just the type who needed something 'more' in his life and would never be happy in just one relationship.

She says it is hard she has 2 lo, but it is easier than always having to wonder what he is up to.

He has since cheated on every other woman - and she feels that has re-inforced her belief that he always will be a cheat.

My h was quite interested as i think a lot struck a chord - and he has been very attentive since. Lots of sorrys, and i think he is a bit scared too.
That is my big fear that it is only a matter of time until he does it again - but i have to take that leap of faith and know that if he ever did i would be able to cope alone.

Baffy i dont know what to say to you know - i am pretty sure he will not leave you alone now - i suspect the begging will begin again. And what will ow actually have a man who actually wants to be somewhere else (you know the pain of that and now she will too). She will never be able to trust him and predict that it wont be long before he really does look like a man who has lost everything.

You are wonderful and have been so strong throughout all this and you know you deserve so much more now.
If you need to talk email me and i will give you my number again.

Take care