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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Glam & fab part 7 - from strength to strength

1000 replies

UC · 31/07/2008 22:16

Thought I'd start this one off on a positive spin? Hope you all find it..

OP posts:
Tanee58 · 22/08/2008 18:07

Oh help, they've declared a council by-election and my name is going forward for selection as a candidate. Have I gone mad? The scariest thing is, unless someone more politically savvy than me comes forward (and that wouldn't be hard) - I might actually win !!!!

And this means lots of showing willing over the next few weeks and even less time on MN .

Tanee58 · 22/08/2008 18:08

Oooh what have I done?

HappyWoman · 22/08/2008 18:43

Brillian tanee - do we need to rally for votes for you?

So what are you policies.

Lets face it us woman would make a better go of running the country at the moment (well most of the time actually if the truth be known.)

How are you today baffy - bugger you cant get on at work now - already missing you.

Ginny hope you stay strong over the weekend - but if you dont it will not mean you have gone back - just means you fancied a shag some company . and you should not feel in the least bit guilty about that. until he shows you the commitment you need he should expect nothing more from you.

H taking me out tonight - not sure i really feel like it but i do know it will be worth the effort. What is wrong with me, i dont exactly feel down just feel sort of flat, but not in a sad way iyswim.

MCD - hope you are feeling a bit better today - you know you are doing the right thing, i have been thinking about you a lot today.

Hope everybody else enjoys the long weekend.

ginnny · 22/08/2008 18:45

How exciting Tannee!!! I'm sure you'd be a brilliant candidate.
I've just rolled the cat over looking for a belly button and got scratched!!!
X is on piss again - so far only soppy drunken phone calls. I'm going out tonight with the girls and after I've phoned the dc I'm switching off my phone.
Hey ho.... here we go again

HappyWoman · 22/08/2008 18:48

oh well ginny - enjoy your night out. sorry he is back having his affair with the booze though.

ginnny · 22/08/2008 18:50

Confession : I did sleep with him earlier this week
Big mistake!
Nice though

Lilyloo · 22/08/2008 21:05

Ginny have good night tonight! no not name changer sticking with me!

Tannee sounds like a well rounded dd! You can have my vote!

McD gald he realised 'he' couldn't afford it then hope it was he realised you knew what he was playing at!

WW sounds as exciting as my teddy bears picnic in the front room although have to admit it was cucmber sandwiches and tea no veg!

Well cleared out cupboards and ebayed the lot and currently on £60+ with 6 days to go who knew our junk would be worth anything!
Typical dp job gone pear shaped he has given his notice in at other place is now unpaid r/e the agencys advise he was due to start Tue now going to be week on Mon both new job and agency blaming each other but we week wages gone we scarily close enough for that to tip us over the edge

Tanee58 · 23/08/2008 11:14

Lilyloo - oh no - sorry about the job. Could you live on sardines for a week? Very nutricious. My mum found many ways to serve it when my Dad was unemployed - got them through.

Ginnny you naughty girl! But at least you still know the score with him. I'm really sorry that he's on the booze again.

Baffy, how are you? And McD?

Dior - keep up the good work as the Incredible Shrinking Woman.

Thanks for all your votes girls - my policies are, beef steaks for everyone (unless you're veggie, in which case it's best Camembert). I'm in the office now but out delivering leaflets in a minute; campaign manager looked at my Facebook profile, burst out laughing and suggested I change my political views from 'apathetic' to something more positive - since the opposition would love to make something of it. So hey ho, I'm now outed as a LibDem . When I txted DP that I might stand, he said oh good, now he can retire . I said no chance, he would have to be my lady mayoress. Have to admit I'm not being totally altruistic, the allowance will take some of the financial pressure off...

OK, off to play postman. Hope you all have a good weekend .

PaddlePig · 23/08/2008 18:18

hello, back from hols and attempting to catch up on washing adn MN!

Baffy check here

PaddlePig · 23/08/2008 18:24

oh and another one for Baffy Anthony ripples his Wiggle Muscles!

Lilyloo · 23/08/2008 20:50

Tannee yep send us your sardine recipes ! I have got tin od corned beef so doing a hash i actually like this and also going to find the ten ways with chicken thread where you eat the bones on the last day

PP how was hol ?

PaddlePig · 23/08/2008 21:02

i love corned beef hash. must start cooking that again.

macaroni cheese is fave at our house at the mo. mind you, after the amount of cheese and lardons i bung into it i don't think it's particularly economical other than the quantity that goes in the freezer.

slow cooker is my way of saving cash. any old scrag end of meat tastes good if you cook it for 8 hours with a handful of root veg. serve with large amounts of rice or mash.

holiday was good thanks. weather was a bit of a disappointment but hey ho. dd had a blast and the clubhouse entertainment kept her up till 10ish most nights whilst i enjoyed a glass of wine with friends. not as relaxing as it sounds as dd did a good job of misapearing herself (disapearing) in the crowds LOL.

H came down last weekend with his boys and we had a lovely time. he seems to have taken a nose-dive ever since

had a couple of sad moments watching other families with dads but tried to remind myself that what's on show isn't the truth of the relationship.

it's good to be home.

tanneeeeeeee, i'll vote for you!

ginny, keep up the good work missis.

baffy, how are you?

lily, how bloody awful about the job. last thing you need.

dior, sounds like you're doing okay with the excercise etc.

UC, glad your hols were good. hope you get some good indications soon.

wily, woof woof!

HW, how're you doing?

LL, you too?

who've I missed LOL

anyone heard from TFM or Sugar? Must text them, have been too busy this last week running after dd who has developed wings on her ankles!

Lilyloo · 23/08/2008 21:08

How old is dd now pp ?
Remember going to Butlins with ds when he was 2.5 with my best friend when i was pg with dd1. My bf said it was the only holiday she has ever been on when she has lost weight ds was everywhere all at once!

PaddlePig · 23/08/2008 21:13

lol, it's so true! she'll be 3 end October.

she's so tall and speaks so well that she's taken for much older tho! oh and there is no chance that I am actually allowed join her on the dance floor! I get shoved aside as she flirts with the kiddies entertainers!!

I've got some great pics, will put on FB. You have to sign up so you can view them.

so basically, she's old enough to dance on her own, takes herself to the loo on her own (have now drummed into her that she must ask me to take her) etc etc but can't quite make her way back to our table on her own.

thank god for my friend's older dds who kept a watchful eye on her for me. but basically, there was no Mummy Relaxin stuff going on LOL.

Oh except for Tues night when my friend's mum babysat for her kids and dd and we went out for dinner. it was YUM and the first time in ages that I haven't had indigestion at 4am thru scoffing my food super fast and helping dd at same time LOL.

PaddlePig · 23/08/2008 21:14

btw, that is dd's interpretation of what she is old enough for. not mine! and whilst she can take herself to the toilets she can't actually get onto them on her own LOL.

bless her, she's had a fantastic holiday!

Lilyloo · 23/08/2008 21:19

i think if dd1 could drive (she 3) i think i would be redundant !

Dior · 24/08/2008 09:59

Message withdrawn

Dior · 24/08/2008 21:11

Message withdrawn

Dior · 24/08/2008 21:18

Message withdrawn

ginnny · 24/08/2008 22:48

Hello!!!
Dior - glad you're having a good time, despite the weather!
Lily - Sorry to hear about the job situation. Hope you manage to enjoy the BH weekend anyway.
PP & TFM - just seen your pics on FB - they are lovely. What gorgeous little girls.
I'm having a good weekend so far. Spent lots of girly time with my friends and managed to keep him at arms length!
He has called a few times and tonight we had quite a long conversation during which he said he'd do anything to get me back and he's terrified I'll meet someone else now I'm going out again. ( as if!!) I said I need to see actions, not words, he swears he'll do whatever it takes, but we'll see.
I'm missing the dc loads, but having a nice break with lots of lazy lie ins and long child free lunches!!

Baffy · 25/08/2008 09:32

Hi guys

Just a very quick catch up. Things have been pretty bad, I do now have the concrete evidence I needed. H has never stopped sleeping with her for 1 day. Through all the progress, promises and hope for the future, he never could stop seeing her.

Macd was totally right - he couldn't tell her the truth because as far as she was concerned, her future was with him and the baby.

Don't even ask where her OM fits into this!

He's a very sick man. Telling me that me and ds would be his priority forever. Just a few days ago I slept with him after 2-3 hours of him begging, pleading and promising that his heart was with me and he would do whatever it took. It sucked me in. I finally believed that me standing up to him had given him the push to decide where his priorities were and what he was going to do about it.

I was understandably cautious, hence not coming on here declaring everything was sorted. But I believed it.

He left me with a massive kiss and promised everything would be ok. Ran back to the door 2 or 3 times to give me another kiss and tell me it would be ok.

I went to bed so so happy.

Within 12 hours he'd met up with her, gave her a special gift (the same massage oil he bought me when I was pregnant!!!!!!) and slept with her.

His line to her, as he kissed her stomach goodnight, was that it would all be ok.

I know what has to happen now.

It's just been hard to come here and admit it all.

Lilyloo · 25/08/2008 09:41

Baffy you have nothing but my upmost admiration and sympathy.
You now have to plan a different future than what you hoped for but that doesn't mean it's not going to be filled with lot's of and happiness!

Dior sounds like you enjoying it

Ginny glad you keeping busy!

Well we off camping for two days tom. I have been so down and my bf has a spare tent so we going to join her and her fella for two nights. Never been before , will probably get soaked but am sure kids will love it and i am going to get drunk and switch off for a while

Baffy · 25/08/2008 09:45

Just to add - I probably won't be on much but don't worry.

I'm ok. I'm very proud of myself for the strength I've showed and the belief in my marriage. I don't regret for 1 minute giving it everything I had.

I'll always love him very much.

But I'm just very very sad that even though he could say the words to my face that he knew how lucky he was to have this final chance with me and ds, he didn't believe it.

He just didn't love me enough. That's what's hard to deal with.

It hurts like hell now.

But at least he'll never be able to hurt me again.

And like I said last week, at least now I can bring up my son in my way, and teach him what love really is.

I just wish I hadn't let him suck me back in. And if I wouldn't have bumped into OW on Saturday and seen it all with my own eyes I'd be none the wiser even now...
Everything happens for a reason doesn't it

Lilyloo · 25/08/2008 09:56

You have every reason to be proud of yourself and every right to be very hurt/sad and let down.
But i guess it can only be onwards and upwards from here. They can't hurt you anymore and how they live with themselves , who knows ?
Take care and just pop by to let us now your doing ok can understand you needing to step away

lemonstartree · 25/08/2008 10:46

Baffy - I dont post on this thread because I haven't (thank god) had to put up with what you have.But I have followed the stories of all you brave courageous loving women.

I just wanted to send you my deepest admiration and very very best wishes, I cant express how amazingly brave and strong you have been, and I am so sorry that you husband is unable to appreciate what he had.

he is a fool, but for you and your lovely son the future will be bright and you will find someone worthy of you

x lst

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