not name changing......I am not sure if I should, BUT, why should I be ashamed????/

[Psychomum5]

I am still not sure if I am doing the right thing, but here goes, fully in........

I am having difficulty.

DH and I are, for the most part, very happily married. very, and for which I know I should be feeling very lucky for, and very fortunate for......BUT

we had a small (well, not so small really) problem 3yrs ago.

he did something with another woman, a paid type of woman.......but a woman that was not found or instgated by him.

he was working away a lot, he is the 'owner' of a building gang, and they had work away for which he employed people for.

now, one such 'bloke' was single (among married men) and this one night, brought this woma back to the digs.

I have no idea, in all honesty, how it all occured.......so I will not say as I could be lying or angry about and so exagerating.

suffice to say, DH did something, then caught something, and gave it to me.

now, to all intent;s and purposes, we have got over it, I was treated, we got councelling, and we are fine.........not least because we were and are happy, we have a fab family, and I can see us growing old together........all makers for a happy marriage.

BUT

the guy that started this was at the time sacked (on my say so) and DH promised to not go away to anywhere that I could not trust him for......until I was fine again.

all ok????

no.....the guy that (in my head) is the instigator, is back working with them again....and I am feeling like shit. I cannot get past this trust issue again....and DH has noticed me being unhappy..as have the kiddies, and me....I am stressed out all the time

I want to get past it, I want to be okay again, I want not to have to tell DH that this man working for them again has worked me up to this degree......

help me see sense again please

lol

And Psychomum5 sorry to hijack another one of your threads.

Sorry to hear you are going through this Psychomum. Would you consider re-visiting the counsellor you saw? Perhaps on your own initially?

Things might be forgiven, but don't get forgotten.

Anyway, hope you are OK.

flashman- are you really a man?

Flame sticking in head!

I know why you aren't talking to me about this, and as bad as I feel that you can't, I wanted to say thank you. I am working on different methods to make shields effective but still able to support

I agree with everyone - I read Lulu and agreed... then I read Squirdle and agreed... I even agree with bits of what Flashman said!

Relate does sound a good idea, as does the proper talking.

Are you about today at all? Was thinking kids can play, we can have coffee and meaningless chat (You may need sunglasses though... hair is very bright)

Mrs Macaroon - Yes last time I checked why?

oh my god........go offline for 24hrs and all start a fight on my thread....

or ......not sure!!!

flame, sorry for not being about, ali over from lux and I went out to meet up with some friends from school on the quay.....(ooh, I felt tiny), and was the only one with a large family......most odd with all the looks of shock!!!

((should I be shocked with looks of shock on five kiddies.......))

anyhoooo.......you is fine.....I have said a few times how I am feeling but know that you got your own things going on........and TBH, feeling strange about all this, hence the thread!

right......still not spoken to DH, but, in some ways, knowing that what I am feeling is normal is actually sitting better in my head and heart, if any of you get what I mean. I feel better knowing that I am ok to feel like this.

we have a holiday next week, and TBH, I am reluctant to bring all this up before then, I want to have a nice family holiday and get us back to 'us' again. If, when we get back, I still feel odd and DH comments, then I will tell him what is bugging me and suggest speaking to someone about it.

having said that, he does know my feelings about this other bloke working for them again, as I had said a couple of bitchy commments and he picked up on them.....it would be no supprise if I tell him how I feel.

anyway.......I do feel better at the mo.....have started on st johns wort (may have said that??) and multi vits....am calmer right now.

((that said, no PMT right now, nor PMT from the girls......says a lot))

Ooh I forgot about the reunion!