Advice for dating man suffering from schizophrenia

[Cosmicprancer]

Good morning,

I’m really just looking for some practical advice on dating someone who suffers from schizophrenia. It’s early days and I don’t want to rush things. If anyone can recommend specific groups or resources I’d much appreciate it.
Thank you

G

Don't?

Why would you?

I wouldn’t. I really really wouldn’t.

Just don’t.

I recommend a short but intense casual fling, to everyone's mutual benefit and enjoyment, and parting ways on friendly terms before too much long term attachment can grow.

Is he on meds? Are his symptoms under control? How long has he been without an episode? Personally, I would focus on those questions before making a decision.

My sibling has schizophrenia and these comment are so harsh and upsetting. The stigma around this illness is disgusting.

It’s a serious, enduring mental illness -
on significant medication for life
doesn’t mean he’s a bad person,
But you need to really consider the impact his illness has on his life and potentially you ..
you got kids ??

I think if you already need groups and resources to support you in the relationship then you should get out of the relationship

Why do you want this relationship?

Shame on you. Disgusting attitude. There is a real person behind the illness.

I came on to see if anyone would shame women for not making their lives much tougher and yes, there is one.

As someone with a severe mental health problem myself, I don't think its unreasonable or shameful to question why someone would want to take on something like this? I have fully accepted that I'll probably not find someone willing to live with my issues

Don't. I had a very good friend for many years who was schizophrenic. One time he turned up at my house – we were working on a project together – with a sports bag, and told me that morning he had bought some interesting magazines about cutting women up. He kept watching me and smiling at me. I just stayed calm and said, 'Are they for a research project?' and then he said he had better leave and he did. I shudder to think what was in that sports bag.

I was young and stupid and stayed friends with him. When I got married, I found out that he was certain a mutual friend of ours and I were madly in love with each other in secret and used him as our go-between to send secret messages.

I mean... surely if we had been in love there'd be no need of secrets, we'd just have got it together. But there was some convoluted parallel reality going on in his head.

On the outside, he came over as very gentle, intelligent, funny and loyal man.

Meanwhile, in the real world…

OP I really wouldn’t.

don’t? my ex has schizophrenia (didn’t when i met him) he’s made my life hell

Oh shut up. I’m not shaming the op for considering not being in a relationship with him. I’ve supported that with my previous post.

I’m saying it’s disgusting to refer to being someone with schizophrenia as “misery for sport”. There’s just no need to be disrespectful when discussing this topic because it involves schizophrenia. I don’t see this kind of attitude and disrespect when it comes to other mental health conditions. You can warn the op without being disrespectful towards the individual who has schizophrenia.

I have very real word experience in dealing with someone with schizophrenia.

I’m asking for people to be respectful when discussing the topic and to not be disrespectful towards the man just because he has schizophrenia. There can be discussion without being dehumanising.

I would take a very big step back, and talk to his family/friends about his bad times. Because they will become yours to live too. With the highs come the lows, and they can be overwhelming.

It's not a decision to make without extensive research and cold hard practicality.

Ok.
Anyway my advice to the OP: Run.
Don't bother doing research.

You would be crazy to get seriously involved, just don't.

One of my oldest friends has schizophrenia and like the friend above, he generally comes cross as bright, gentle and funny.
However, over the years there have been numerous times when he is off meds and in psychosis when he is none of these.
There have been incidents where I and other friends have feared for our safety, property has been destroyed and his partners have had it a lot worse.
So I wouldn’t.

Hi, @Cosmicprancer , I'm assuming his condition is reasonably well-controlled with meds at the moment and he is able to date in the normal way?
My recommendation would be to date in a low-key way without moving fast to anything deeper or long-term.
That way you can get to know him as a person and start to see the shape that the illness has in his life.
That may well be easier for him too.
Aim to be really getting to know him as a friend at this stage. If his illness does turn out to be too much of an obstacle for a partner relationship, then a solid grounding in simple friendship will put you both in a place where you can navigate things without making too many demands on one another.

Yes, and a real person who is launching headlong into support mode in a new relationship - a relationship that will come with the kind of challenges that will break most people. And you see so many women do this, take on enormous caring roles without any concern with how much life it leaves for them and they leave hollowed out and defeated.

i wouldn’t, OP. You would be setting yourself up for years of managing a significant mental illness which will definitely impact your own life. Unless the person is very compliant with their medication, it goes in a cycle of feeling so good they stop taking the meds, deterioration in mental health (often a psychotic episode), sectioned and stabilised then discharged to repeat the cycle. Exhausting.