NC’d bc previous threads would make this outing.
As it’s approaching the festive season I’d like to ask for advice please. I’ve been with DP well over a decade. Every year his sister gives me some vaguely weird or semi-unsuitable type of present. It’s not that they’re horrible, just a strange choice I guess.
Apart from a few instances they have generally been toiletry based. One year she gave me a massive gift box of body shop stuff all in one scent. It wasn’t awful, but as I said to my partner - what if I hadn’t liked it? I’d never mentioned liking it to her and she’d never asked. Surely you’d put the feelers out before choosing a specific thing like that?
There’s been other similar stuff, usually from somewhere ok, like joules or next, but to me, toiletries is a risky, cop out gift generally unless you know exactly what the recipient likes, as it’s subjective while also requiring very little thought usually.
For years I’ve asked for vouchers which have been agreed on, then she’ll get me something completely left field - like recently, tickets to a family theatre trip in 6 months time - it actually clashed with my nephew’s bday but she hadn’t even bothered to check to see whether we could do the date. Needless to say we’ve always bought her and her partner exactly what they’ve asked for. I’ve said we should but partner doesn’t want to rock the boat.
We have a set budget which encompasses bdays as well as xmas. I struggle to find a specific thing I like for this amount but last year I found 2 items from a shop I like which were low in stock. I’ve asked for things in the past for our children’s presents which haven’t been bought in time so I decided to buy them myself before they were sold out. I messaged to say I’d done this and did she want to give them to me as a present? (she’d asked what I wanted). I even offered to send them with her parents for her to wrap and send back with them if she wanted to do that (I know this sounds weird but I guess it’s the same as sending them to her address after ordering them) - I stressed that obv this wasn’t necessary, i could wrap them myself and put with the other family presents (she can be funny about the whole process of gifting and I don’t want to offend). I pointed out it was one less thing for her to worry about as she’s usually very busy.
At first she was fine with this. Then a few days later she text to say that actually she wasn’t, that part of the enjoyment for her especially at xmas was thinking about family and what they’d want and getting this etc and that it was nice to be surprised…. This after years of telling us exactly what she, partner and kids wanted and us complying. Confusing but hey ho. What was also weird was that I always put a lot of thought into gifts for everyone. If she gave me a generic item I’d try and get an interesting version of it, which she’d loved (genuinely). And when this happened, some years she’s got me a token bday present - which is weird bc these xmas gifts are meant to include them (my bday is a couple of weeks after xmas).
Anyway, I had a somewhat disconcerting epiphany last year which upset me at the thought of ‘wow this is such CF’ery I can’t believe it’s true’, while at the same time, ‘of course it’s true - how could I possibly have not seen it before?!!!’
We receive our presents AFTER xmas, when the in-laws retune from their visit to her.
When I say…… she’s a teacher……..
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To state the bleeding obvious - am I the only one thinking she’s been re-gifting me presents her students have been giving her for the last 15 years??????!
How would you feel if this was you and what would you do for this xmas? It may not be true, but it is isn’t it.