dh left me early this morning

[lou33]

that's it really

took his credit card, and went. Wouldn't tell me if he was coming back, refused to take his mobile, told me to tell the kids what i wanted.

lou, doesnt one of your kids get mobility? is it possible you can use the cash for that for your own car (if its not earmarked for anything else?)

Oh Lou, thinking of you.

Lou, hope you are okay, we are all here to listen and help xx

lou

sending cyberhugs {{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}

i can't drive misdee i am epileptic

have spoken today to spacedonkey, and i have one friend in the village, but like i said she is a single parent with 3 kids and 3 jobs, so....

sorry lou, i forgot.

hope you get soemthing sorted soon.

is there any family living close by lou? or Mners?

my sister but i really dont want to involve her atm

Lou - sounds like he's 'punishing' you, and at some stage soon cold light is going to dawn and he's going to realise what a heap of shit he has left you and the kids in, miss them, and come back. I hope it's soon, for practical purposes - but it's a heck of a stunt. He'll have to come back anyway, if he works from home.

Can anyone do anything practical to help you right now? Anyone live near enough?

How do you usually greet him when he returns from one of these awaydays? take him by surprise and set a different pattern?

Hoping all my might that this gets resolved for you, Lou.

Sorry if I'm being obnoxious and presumptious - and certainly not meaning to play down the horribleness and seriousness of this for you - I'd be hysterical.

i think he's punishing you too. I wish my dh would punish me for being too gorgeous - instead I get called "bloater" etc. Maybe he didnt expect you to actually make plans to revisit Thailand again and he obviously does think you're a stunner - however still very childish behaviour for a grown man with responsibilities. He should be grateful he's got you not trying to make you suffer

Oh Lou I'm so sorry you have to go through this, don't have any other practical suggestion for you but thinking of you. Hope he realises his mistake soon and comes home.
xxxxx

thanks blu

i think we're all assuming Lou wants him to come home - how do you feel about it honestly Lou? (hope you dont mind me asking)

it was his idea for me to go to thailand. I was trying to accept that i couldnt, he came home and said i deserved to go for supporting him over the years, now i have never been interested in him or his work and have never been supportive

A few years ago when my DP walked out on me and DS, I had no-one at all to turn to and bottled it all up for days not telling anyone, I was totally stuck with no money, no car nothing, my mum rang and I talked as if nothing was wrong and after about 20mins, I just burst out in tears and told her what had happened and it was a big relief, after that all the family came to help me out, they all lived 1hour away! It made things seem much brighter, I didn't want to burden them with it, but it just made the burden more for me to carry, problem shared is a problem halved kind of thing. I'm sure your sis would want to know, and be more than happy to help you out. FWIW, my DP and I got back together after a few months and things have never been better between us, it was like it wiped the slate clean and we could start again.

that's a hard one jampots.

He is a difficult man but i love him and he has until now been a fantastic dad. I guess the fact that i keep breaking down in tears shows i want him back, but i don't want it to be for convenience sake iyswim

grrrrr - typical bloke. You need to get yourself down to Cuba Libre or wherever it is and enjoy yourself!!!! that'll make him think.

i don't think my sister would forgive him, which is why i am trying to see what happens over the next few days before i announce it.

i would, but i am 40 miles away with noone to watch kids.

lou, im sorry to say this but he sounds selfish and childish, walking out like that. hope he comes back with his tail between his legs.

nobody deserves to be left like that, he must know how difficult it will be without the car, money etc. i hope he apologises.

Is he panicking - I think you said you'd never been travelling alone before - is he being irrational with himself, worrying about you being fancied by men while away, worrying about sole charge of the kids for that time, or subconsciously worrying that disaster of some kind will claim you, this time?

I mean none of it should be taken out on you - and (oh god, I feel like a stuck record on this) is he depressed?

Hold tight, Lou.

If you love him and he's great dad and you're unhappy without him then it sounds like you should try and get him back.
There must be something more to it than just worrying about other blokes looking at you in the pub. Certainly sounds like he loves you too or why would he care?
He's obviously bery insecure for some reason and you'll need to convince him that you do love him and want him back, but not on any terms. He has to address these issues of his or he's going to keep making you both unhappy.
You poor thing. I can't imagine what you're going through. Just the practicalities of looking after all the kids with no car and a missing wheelchair would be enough to floor most people. You'r being braver than I would be.

I don't know what to say, this sounds so hard - I hope you get some support really soon, I'm thinking of you.

You sound so strong and caring. I don't really know your history but you must be able to get some help in your situation with transport. I found that concentrating on the practical helped me to sort out my head. Have you tried social services or CAB for some advice? you'd been surprised how much help is out there. Wish I could help you more on an 'emotional' level you need to sort out in your head what you want, you know we're all here to support you.