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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

dh left me early this morning

305 replies

lou33 · 31/01/2005 10:34

that's it really

took his credit card, and went. Wouldn't tell me if he was coming back, refused to take his mobile, told me to tell the kids what i wanted.

OP posts:

winnie · 31/01/2005 16:17

Lou, sorry you are going through this. I hope you are able to work it out. Winniex

iota · 31/01/2005 16:21

lou
hope you get it sorted out
best wishes

essbee · 31/01/2005 16:30

Message withdrawn

Tinker · 31/01/2005 16:35

Just seen this Lou. Hope you're able to sort something out.

nikcola · 31/01/2005 16:39

so sorry lou hope your ok {{{{{{{{{{{[}}}}}}}}}}}

DelGirl · 31/01/2005 16:44

just seen this lou . if there's anything you need or if I can help in any way, you know where I am, ok.

GRMUM · 31/01/2005 16:49

Hope you get this sorted soon lou. xx

Tortington · 31/01/2005 17:23

i sincerely hope things get sorted out soon lou, if not,ring soical services and ask fro transport help - and i can order you esential stuff from tesco online pay for it and get it delivered to your door - without even moving my fat lazy arse.

many best wishes xxxxxxxxxxxx

Freckle · 31/01/2005 17:25

This is such a shock, lou. I hope you can get to the bottom of the problem. It certainly sounds as though your dh is having a crisis of some sort.

Hope you get some answers soon.

Gobbledigook · 31/01/2005 17:28

Lou - sorry to hear this - glad you are at least able to talk to him now.

milge · 31/01/2005 17:37

So sorry to read this Lou. Glad you are talking to him, step in the right direction.

Original poster

lou33 · 31/01/2005 17:38

He is here, and we are talking. He said he woke up this morning and felt dreadful about the situation he had left me and the kids in. He has finally admitted that he is v hurt by the way his mum has treated him, yet again, and more affected by the tsunami than he has admitted. He is worried about me going, for my safety, and the fact that he is insecure enough to think i might swan off with the first decent offer. I told him to stop putting ideas in my head. He is going to stay and we are going to try and work it out. I have to admit i didn't realise he was feeling this bad, as i have been so caught up in myself, and i should have been more aware, but hopefully we can chat some more when the kids are asleep and work out a way forward through this mess.

Thank you all so much, I cannot even begin to tell you how much i appreciate every single one of your comments.

Fingers crossed.

OP posts:

SenoraPostrophe · 31/01/2005 17:38

Nothing constructive to add, but just wanted to say i'm thinking of you, lou.

What is it with men and bottling everything up until they snap?

jampots · 31/01/2005 17:39

good show lou - glad he's back in the land of lou!

SenoraPostrophe · 31/01/2005 17:40

Posts crossed - really glad to hear that.

hope that chat goes well.

Cadbury · 31/01/2005 17:40

lou.

MunchedTooManyMarsLady · 31/01/2005 17:40

glad to know he's back. I hope you manage to talk things through and that hopefully he'll get some counselling. You have my prayers and thoughts tonight.

dawnie1 · 31/01/2005 17:44

Thats very good news Lou . Now that he has been brave enough to break down some of his barriers hopefully it'll get you talking about the really important things and strengthen your relationship.

(Men don't have the support of MN or in RL so I know they can be a bunch of inconsiderate gits but as you said you love him and he is a great dad so hopefully this is just a blip).

milge · 31/01/2005 17:44

. Good luck to you both. Men are so emotionally vulnerable, yet almost always refuse to show it. They are just little boys really, and having a difficult relationship with his mum must be soul destroying. I hope he can get some help with his feelings and that you don't have to bear the brunt of his vulnerabilities.

RTKangaMummy · 31/01/2005 17:45

Lou and Lou's DH

Sending you both cyberhugs {{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}

Hope you both can sort everything out together

nasa · 31/01/2005 17:47

just seen this - hope you're OK lou

Original poster

lou33 · 31/01/2005 17:50

the relationship with his mother was so destructful to him, it's why we cut off contact from her 18m ago, but despite that , he truly thought that her cancer would be something that could transcend that. Knowing her i was really worried that he would once again be victim to her heartlessness, and i have seen that come to fruition. I wish she cared about the effect she had on him, but i think she derives some sort of pleasure from it. This is the woman who stood at gatwick airport and told him to his face that he was not her son. He wrote to her about her cancer, and as she had asked about the tsunami, he told her what happened, and how ds1 was about 3ft from being washed away at one point and she couldn't be bothered to reply.

OP posts:

blueteddy · 31/01/2005 17:50

Glad things are looking up.
Told you he would be back!

Original poster

lou33 · 31/01/2005 17:52

doesn't mean he is going to stick around though, we will have to see what happens. He is going to be here while i go away though

OP posts:

RTKangaMummy · 31/01/2005 17:52

I don't know what to say about her

I am lost for words

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