Asking to be exclusive after 2 dates?

[Heyandheytoday]

He seems too good to be true.

Unspeakably handsome. Funny. Intelligent. Has his life together. Warm. Great in bed.

He told me before we met up for the first time that he doesn’t do casual, and he hopes this isn’t that. That’s after speaking for a while before meeting.

I thought this may be a sign of love bombing? He kept saying how he couldn’t believe I was available, how amazing I look, etc etc.

Met up for a walk. Then we had our first date. And then second date (had sex). He has gone away for the week now to Singapore for work and says he’s so happy, and really wants to talk about something properly when he’s back. And says he can’t wait (in an excited way).

Do you think he is going to ask for exclusivity? I mean, I am unofficially giving him that. Not because I feel I must but I just can’t entertain anyone else with him on the mind. He’s lush.

Is it a red flag that/if he wants to move things so quickly?

He seems to genuinely think I am too good to be true. Which is incredibly odd because I think the same about him.

He is like a male version of me, looks aside. He doesn’t just mirror. I’ve mentioned stuff and he’s said he likes the same, and there’s been examples of that happening where he either shows me that thing there and then or shows me on his phone pics of him doing that! So wouldn’t have had time to pretend he likes it etc

OP's post didn't say "casual sex" check it out again...

That made me laugh but think they meant cat fisher

I married two similar. First one completely bowled me over. Changed day after wedding to a controller.
Second one came and pulled me out of a conference after two weeks dating, proposed, bought diamond ring same day. Then....started to criticise having persuaded me to give up my job to be his PA. On honeymoon he started making eyes at other women. Continued throughout marriage, he enrolled on dating sites. Alienated my friends and family isolated me from others. Classic narc but they weren't a known phenomenon then.
BE VERY VERY CAREFUL...your kids are your priority he may manipulate them.
His behaviour is not rational.
It took me years to get away and rebuild my life. I pray for you.

This was exactly my first thought. Potential predator. Be careful

That is on her second post I was referring to her first post which is about him telling her before they met he doesn't do casual.. The second post does say he doesn't do casual sex but looks like it means if he has sex with someone it means much more than a quick shag. Of course if he has now disappeared into the sunset I will take it all back...

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be cautious, especially when you have 2 children. But, when I met my husband (married now for 44 years with 2 kids and 5 grandkids), he’d already told his friends he’d met the girl he was going to marry. And yes, I suppose he love bombed me, although that term wasn’t around then. He was very very keen and very flattering and we just clicked. When you know, you know as they say. But that’s my story. I would proceed and fingers crossed he is what he seems, but take things slowly because you have 2 children

Definitely take things slow - it's good you're questioning things. Also, read up on men who try to traffic women. Sorry, but we need to open our eyes / plug in our brains and give each other realistic advice. And then, when it's been enough time and you feel comfortable, you will have a better idea of him. Hope it works out!

If you’re asking then you feel something is off. Also you’ve had sex - while naturally you can do what you want having sex early can make you feel a bond with someone for biological reasons and cloud your judgement imo. Hope it all works out though. Stay safe.

I just looked up Ashkay Kumar when he was young. Very good looking OP. But you sound like you are pretty too so its probably all very genuine. You have 2 kids but he obviously isn't bothered. Enjoy it all and don't over think it all.

The overall agreement? After two dates? OP, this is moving way too fast. Please remember that you don't know this man from Adam. He could be hiding any number of horrible traits and this could be the start of one of the worst episodes of your life. He's already showing huge red flags with his love-bombing. Imagine him on the toilet making a huge smell if you must, but you really should stop being so excited about him, or you'll have no judgement at all where he's concerned. Two dates! A stranger!

Why not wait until he asks?
Seems much too soon.

Another thing ...has OP heard from him since he went away ?

Yes, every day

Seeing each other again Wednesday

Good to hear that OP and wish you well. It sounds like he has missed you when he was away.

He is now returning Monday morning and I’m seeing him Monday afternoon, so the update is closer than you think

He has to fly back early.

I know people will still argue this could be fake but his (verified via company house) business is all over social media and I can literally see what he has told me is true about flying out to Singapore… plus he is tagged in multiple posts from other people, some high profile. Again, I am not saying he’s an A List mingler! But there’s enough info to be satisfied he’s telling the truth about where he is right now

Why wouldn’t I answer? 2.5 years.

I have dated one more serious type of relationship about a year ago and it just didn’t work out. Too different in lifestyle. He never met my kids, before anyone asks. Nor would he for about a year

My actual relationship was over long before the divorce. I was married at 21

I agree with everything you say, I am just cautious of oxytocin release as I know that can be a pain in the arse for women and attachment (says she sleeping with him. Again, it isn’t meant as judgement).

Can I ask, as I’m being a bit dim here, is that 10 of of 1000 thing about compatibility true? Like is it an Adrian statistic or fair estimate? If so I am shocked

I knew finding someone would prove tricky but those are really bad odds. That’s 1%

Moody arse. Would be lovely when things went well, but handled any disappointment or conflict (not necessarily with me, anyone or anything) with sulking. I just didn’t want to put up with it so left. I would’ve left sooner too but DS1 had childhood illnesses that meant lengthy stays in a specialist hospital so it didn’t work out to leave beforehand. We muddled along okay. No name calling or put downs

Co parent okay

I’m in a similar scenario but a year down the line.

We were date four or five iirc before we slept together and he didn’t say that directly (doesn’t do casual sex etc) but the second time we spoke he asked what I was looking for and he offered up he was wanting a partner to have a future with, found out my plans to move many many miles away in a few years and said he’d come with (and it’s looking like he really did mean it since he’s looking at areas and house prices still) and sometime between dates two and 4/5 he’d removed his profile from the site we met on

Hes solvent, successful, very responsible job, committed (he sees through what he set out to do and doesn’t back out of commitments to others even when he’s not well), kind, funny, intelligent, caring, amazing in bed…the list goes on. Abc yes, I thought he was too good to be true…but I’m sat on his sofa right now waiting for him to wake up, almost a year later.

I honestly thought he’d be a future faker….its all still looking rosey right now.

The only thing you can do is wait and see. People can let you down 40 years down the line and you suddenly realise things were a sham - but you’re never going to find out if they’re genuine or not unless you travel down the road with them (just remember, it’s all bullshit until it happens)

Good luck