Asking to be exclusive after 2 dates?

[Heyandheytoday]

He seems too good to be true.

Unspeakably handsome. Funny. Intelligent. Has his life together. Warm. Great in bed.

He told me before we met up for the first time that he doesn’t do casual, and he hopes this isn’t that. That’s after speaking for a while before meeting.

I thought this may be a sign of love bombing? He kept saying how he couldn’t believe I was available, how amazing I look, etc etc.

Met up for a walk. Then we had our first date. And then second date (had sex). He has gone away for the week now to Singapore for work and says he’s so happy, and really wants to talk about something properly when he’s back. And says he can’t wait (in an excited way).

Do you think he is going to ask for exclusivity? I mean, I am unofficially giving him that. Not because I feel I must but I just can’t entertain anyone else with him on the mind. He’s lush.

Is it a red flag that/if he wants to move things so quickly?

He seems to genuinely think I am too good to be true. Which is incredibly odd because I think the same about him.

He is like a male version of me, looks aside. He doesn’t just mirror. I’ve mentioned stuff and he’s said he likes the same, and there’s been examples of that happening where he either shows me that thing there and then or shows me on his phone pics of him doing that! So wouldn’t have had time to pretend he likes it etc

Red flag vibes. Big red flag vibes.

I hateeee when people say they have something to tell me but can't right away! It just causes unnecessary anxiety.

I hope things work out for OP and he's some unicorn, but if he's trying to rush things, I'm concerned about the safety of those two small kids. Maybe I watch too much SVU but alarm bells are ringing.

The feelings OP have are delicious and exciting especially having been alone for a while BUT do not give him the impression that you are desperately waiting for him to come back.

So many women come on MN after a year or two having ended up with some dreadful man because they were so keen to be with someone

Can you give him a (whatsapp = free ) call in Singapore ?

My golden rule; hope for the best; plan for the worst.

It sounds like lovebombing. Be careful

🤣

Sounds like you are well suited. Why not go steady and enjoy it. Wanting to settle down makes sense for his age and you seem to be well matched for attractiveness and interests.

What's wrong with that ?

@Heyandheytoday Yes, I am (sorry, you did ask!). Naturally good looking, good figure etc. But as I say, 29, divorced, 2 kids etc.

This one is easy then. Given that men rarely receive attention from women, he's probably just thrilled by the fact that an attractive woman seems to like him. That's probably all there is to this one.

If you are like this after two dates and slept with him, then he is going to break you down in no time at all. There are red flags flying everywhere in everything you say. Do not introduce him to your children nor move him into your property until you have at least a 12 month relationship. Big houses and flashy cars can be rented. It is a very old story. Keep your finances safe, do not give your phone passwords nor allow him to have you linked via location. He is bombarding you with whatever you need. He will have checked your profile via Facebook etc. and it would be easy for him to align with you. No matter how lonely you might be, straighten your back and stand tall. To have posted here, you have a niggle somewhere and should listen to that. Our gut feelings are usually right.

Who else thinks we may never find out what he wants to discuss when he comes back.

🙋

He's not coming back.

They can't even speak on the phone weirdly 🤔

Hopefully he's genuine but if youve got any doubts and think he may be love bombing, apply for a clares law!
He never needs to know, and it gives you some peace of mind before you get too invested, or he meets your little ones :)

2 dates you still know basically nothing about him. I’d be suspicious of someone who’s made it to 37, but apparently doesn’t date casually, and doesn’t have causal sex, but had sex with someone on the 2nd date.

Think sensibly about what lines you don’t want to cross until it’s serious and don’t cross them. Meeting children, staying over etc etc. Don’t run into something dangerous.
Your senses are telling you this doesn’t feel right or you wouldn’t have posted. Trust that. You need at least 100 hangs with someone to really start to know them.
btw a relationship usually starts out casual with no pressure and room for something to grow. You can’t look at a seed and say you will now be a sunflower without giving it the time and resources it needs to do just that.

Oooo exciting! Fingers crossed, keep us updated please 🤍

Sorry there’s something that doesn’t add up here, met young, but were only together 6 years and he’s 37? So he was over 30 when they got together, that’s definitely not what most people would class as getting together young

He’s completely and utterly love bombing you and doing ‘the chat’. It’s a story older than time, please please be cautious, I sense he will break your heart

I second this.
I would proceed with caution.
What is his past relationship history?
He must have one.

This. Like OP, oxytocin kicks in for me, so I’ve never been one to have sex before exclusivity has been established.

How do you know that a new man feels that way about monogamy too, if you never have the conversation?

Sorry, doesn't do casual, yet sex on the second date? I don't mean to upset you, but they contradict each other I feel, so I'd be thinking is he saying what I want to hear for easy sex? If you don't do casual you would be officially together before sex, and know someone better than 2 dates.

I like that. 100 hangs...