Asking to be exclusive after 2 dates?

[Heyandheytoday]

He seems too good to be true.

Unspeakably handsome. Funny. Intelligent. Has his life together. Warm. Great in bed.

He told me before we met up for the first time that he doesn’t do casual, and he hopes this isn’t that. That’s after speaking for a while before meeting.

I thought this may be a sign of love bombing? He kept saying how he couldn’t believe I was available, how amazing I look, etc etc.

Met up for a walk. Then we had our first date. And then second date (had sex). He has gone away for the week now to Singapore for work and says he’s so happy, and really wants to talk about something properly when he’s back. And says he can’t wait (in an excited way).

Do you think he is going to ask for exclusivity? I mean, I am unofficially giving him that. Not because I feel I must but I just can’t entertain anyone else with him on the mind. He’s lush.

Is it a red flag that/if he wants to move things so quickly?

He seems to genuinely think I am too good to be true. Which is incredibly odd because I think the same about him.

He is like a male version of me, looks aside. He doesn’t just mirror. I’ve mentioned stuff and he’s said he likes the same, and there’s been examples of that happening where he either shows me that thing there and then or shows me on his phone pics of him doing that! So wouldn’t have had time to pretend he likes it etc

There are a lot of lovely men out there. As there are with women. Just a case of using caution to start with. 👍

The risk I'm talking about is that this person might not be The One.

So what? You can realise at any point that you aren't as compatible as you were. Maybe she clarified but they could have been together a decade or more before that.

Just because a relationship didn't work out, it doesn't mean anyone has made an awful mistake. It's just part of their journey.

Yep, I think she's investing too much to soon on a total stranger. She should take things slowly and with a pinch of salt and get to know him slowly, make sure he's the guy he claims to be and his words match his actions. I would tell this guy I would like to take things slowly, if he respects her and wants something serious and solid he will understand,if he doesn't like that I would toss back this one to the river.

God. Is that how you view divorced women?

I just think that we are at a point where people arent trapped into relationships they know aren't good for them, and so people can choose to get out, even if they are married.

Stop saying "already divorced" like it's this awful thing!

Casual sex can turn into regular sex, but it doesn't negate it having been casual in the first place,.and in my books having had sex after meeting for a few hours then leaving the country.... I'd say that's casual right now....

Ordinarily I would have said if it sounds too good to be true it probably is, however he sounds exactly like my partner when I first met him and I was just waiting for the red flags/bomb to drop. However 6 years, two children and a dog later I still feel exactly the same way about him! Keeping everything crossed for you OP!

Thought "exclusive" after 2 dates seems mad, however, in reading you've slept together, I have to agree. For me, once intimate, then I don't want someone sleeping with someone else while I am.

Trust Love...Im sure you deserve it💛

I don’t think being exclusive after 2 dates is unreasonable if you’re both feeling it. I’ve only ever dated one person at a time.

I’ve lived with DH since our 3rd date as we fell head over heels immediately (15 years ago). But, and it’s a bit but, there were no kids to consider. I’d definitely be wary of taking things slow with kids involved!

OP.can you schedule a call with him and say you'd prefer to know now what he wants to say and not wait til Wednesday? Or via texts if a call isn't possible. You (and mumsnet!) could do with knowing.

Which app did you find him on / he does sound too good to be true

tho my friend met someone via one of the sites and knew within 2/3 dates she liked him and didn’t want to see others

for me it’s the sleeping with him first - before knowing his views

he could be shagging/seeing/texting someone else at the same time

tho what do i know. Thinking of dipping toes into dating - after being widowed and divorced - it’s scary stuff !!

Yes but you’re not recognising he could easily just be lying that it’s his dad. What proof do you have, other than him telling you, that this famous person is his dad? And what made you ask him anyway? Does he look like this famous person or was it his name that made you think it?

It all sounds like one of those Netflix romance scam documentaries 😬

Committing to be exclusive and honest with each other is fine, but that's still just the starting point for you both.
Take your time: see him in different situations: see him with your friends and family, and with his. Listen to what the people you trust say.
Exclusivity in terms of dating is sound: exclusivity in terms of you not having any time with friends and family (and same for him) would be a red flag for me.

I moved in with my husband after being together for two weeks - it just felt right. We’ve been together for 22 years and married for 18 and there’s a 7 year age gap - we met when I was 31. We met online and did talk a lot before meeting. So yes, it can happen.

However, neither of had children so there was a lot less at stake if it didn’t work out.

This exclusivity nonsense is for teenagers I thought. When you sleep with someone for me that would be exclusive.

It all sounds fab OP. Go with it. x