Asking to be exclusive after 2 dates?

[Heyandheytoday]

He seems too good to be true.

Unspeakably handsome. Funny. Intelligent. Has his life together. Warm. Great in bed.

He told me before we met up for the first time that he doesn’t do casual, and he hopes this isn’t that. That’s after speaking for a while before meeting.

I thought this may be a sign of love bombing? He kept saying how he couldn’t believe I was available, how amazing I look, etc etc.

Met up for a walk. Then we had our first date. And then second date (had sex). He has gone away for the week now to Singapore for work and says he’s so happy, and really wants to talk about something properly when he’s back. And says he can’t wait (in an excited way).

Do you think he is going to ask for exclusivity? I mean, I am unofficially giving him that. Not because I feel I must but I just can’t entertain anyone else with him on the mind. He’s lush.

Is it a red flag that/if he wants to move things so quickly?

He seems to genuinely think I am too good to be true. Which is incredibly odd because I think the same about him.

He is like a male version of me, looks aside. He doesn’t just mirror. I’ve mentioned stuff and he’s said he likes the same, and there’s been examples of that happening where he either shows me that thing there and then or shows me on his phone pics of him doing that! So wouldn’t have had time to pretend he likes it etc

Whats the red flag then?

I mean... this thread is 14 pages long, mostly of people expressing wariness. If you've not got a sense of the poss red flags yet, spelling it out again won't help.

5-6 yrs what the heck.
What a strange list.
Nothing needs to be so set in stone as this is a adult woman.
Op no need to rush.
Keep up with your own life and needs

Age is a number.

When are you next seeing him @Heyandheytoday ?

Rushing a single parent of two young kids in to committing to you is not exactly a green flag is it!

I mean….2 dates. Is that maybe 10 hours together so far?

How about he is a good looking decent guy? They do exist ........

Sad that so many people think a single parent would be fine to move a new partner in to live with her and her children when she has not even known him for five years.
How long do you think it takes to get from 'total stranger' to 'I know him well enough to live with my kids'?

Edited to add, Remember if you delay introducing him to your kids for a year, then when you have known him two years they have only known him for one.

5 years is a very long time. And you could argue that you don't really know them after 5 years anyway. Especially if you're not living with them.

I'm not suggesting women move men in after a few months at all. However, there is a happy medium between 5 weeks and 5 years.

Better to string her along then?
He might actually really like her and not want to see other people...
Not sure how the kids are relevant TBH. I doubt they're going along on the dates....

They do....

But this isn't one of them his "I don't do casual sex, but will sleep with you after having known you matter of hours" rather implies he isn't being 100% truthful or sincere....

I don't see that 'being exclusively dating' is at all the same thing as 'committing to you'. It simply means not dating or having sex with other people. Which is miles away from committing to a future.

And thick as a plank

Possible yes.
I mean life is just a series of possibilities isnt it?

Better to stay home and take a chance at nothing then yeah?

At my age, five years is a reasonably short time.
I can see that if you are in your twenties it seems like a long time, but in the context of your whole life it really isn't.

The absolute bare face lying?

What lie?

How long ago did you divorce @Heyandheytoday ? Is this your first foray in to dating since the divorce?

That he doesn’t do casual sex
they shagged on date 2

Nobody is saying don't pursue a relationship... :/. Just act with caution. Especially if you have kids.

Because it's a very real possibility that the man wants to sexually assault or rape your child.

These men target single/vulnerable women who have children in their lives.

https://www.lbc.co.uk/article/paedophiles-single-mothers-dating-app-child-exploitation-sex-offenders-5Hjd57k_2/

https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/safeguarding-child-protection/child-groomed-signs

https://www.preventchildabusenevada.org/awareness/child-sexual-abuse/abusers-and-grooming-tactics/

As hard as it is to accept, even Rich good-looking men can be like this.

Proceed with caution!!!

Uh, nope. Just take a bit more time to get to know someone. Why be so extreme? It's not about assuming he is a paedo nor about assuming he is the one. Just about being sensible and waiting to see who he really is beyond the first couple of dates.

As PP said.

Told a lie about not having casual sex with people, proceeded to have casual sex with OP... And then conveniently left the country 😂😂😂

If he was being honest about not having casual sex, he would have waited a fair few weeks to make sure it was going somewhere.... Not a few hours!

I think he means that it wasn’t casual sex because they are soulmates 🤮

Sorry what would be a good line?

I dont think normal people operate in the way you're suggesting. I know a lot of men of that type of age who arent willing to spend their time with people they know from the outset that they would never marry.

If they generally like the person and there arent any deal breakers, they're just up for giving it their best shot.

I think uncomplicated, decent people will be put off by paranoia and those kind of negative traits.

Nonsense.

He said that to get the op to sleep with him 😂