Date tried to put a hood on me during sex

[solosunflowers]

I've been trying to date and honestly not had the best time so far.

I don't get a lot of free time because I'm a solo parent to my son.
So I went on a date recently. It was a low pressure walk (my suggestion). It went really well and we hit it off a lot better than expected. The only thing was that he made reference to being interested in the D/s dynamic. Can't remember how the conversation came up. I didn't make much of it because that is something I can enjoy, but didn't want to discuss at that point.

So second date we were at his house. He kisses me and things get heated. We're about to have sex and he gets about a hood to put over my head. Apparently one of his fantasies. I said no.

This doesn't sound like a man who's looking for a relationship, right?

They have been separated three years. I was told he's divorcing but it's complicated due to finances. He is a single man!

He's not going to say... "My wife ended our marriage because of my porn addiction and the fact I kept trying to put a bag over head like she's a kidnap victim".

Yep. The issue wouldn’t be the hood (not my thing at all but if OP were to like it… anyhow.) but i would absolutely expect him to discuss this beforehand!! And not just get it out… wtf?

edit: seems like he may have taken OP’s general interesting (or at least a lack of an outright rejection) as the go-ahead to do whatever he wanted… which obviously isn’t okay at all and highly worrying as well!

The hood without consent how long till choking comes into it.
Not to be trusted on any level

You show total ignorance about BDSM.

He did choking too.

nailed it!

We do that -,love it
Not on a 1st date though

Yeah of course I do.

No, your comment certainly doesn't make you extraordinary on this website. I wouldn't have commented had it not been for the username. Maybe Idontcoatitinsugar would be a better one for you?

ohhh.... Another "separated man" that "can't get divorced because of kids and finances"?

the dating apps are plagued with them.

Yes seems that way. It's hard to remember what was said now. I certainly was interested at that point. Now I'm thinking and reflecting on everything, it's not something I want to explore at the moment.

Basically, yeah. Don't you think that's genuine?

.

According to data compiled by the advocacy group We Can't Consent To This, men have used the "rough sex" or BDSM defense in more than 60 murder cases (and at least 67 total homicide and non-fatal assault cases tracked across broader studies) in the UK between 1972 and 2020.

Getting Away With Murder? A Review of the ‘Rough Sex Defence’

Several high-profile murders of women killed during alleged consensual sex ‘gone wrong’ have led to widespread calls for reform to prevent the use of what has been termed the ‘rough sex defence’. Concerns about the use of this ‘defence’ are located within broader concerns about the high rates of domestic abuse and fatal violence against women.

Lobbyists, campaign groups and members of parliament have drawn attention to the increase in this ‘defence’ featuring in criminal cases in England and Wales and have consequently proposed two amendments to the Domestic Abuse Bill (2020), namely a statutory prohibition of consent as a defence to actual bodily or more serious harm, including death, and introducing additional scrutiny in charging decisions by requiring the Director of Public Prosecutions to authorise charges of manslaughter (rather than murder) in cases involving rough sex/sadomasochism (SM).

This article provides a critical analysis of the use of rough sex/SM in female homicide cases and proposed legal reforms and concludes that the proposed reforms would fail to capture many of the ‘rough sex’ cases that have come before the courts in recent years and may not have the intended effect. We consider potential alternative approaches.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0022018320936777

Of course he did. Beta male sad fucker.

And that's your perogative and not have that scenario sprung on you.
It can get scary when a man sets his sights on something youre not expecting.

It's always something weird, gross or violent isn't it? Can you wear a hood? Can you peg me? Can I choke you? Will you fuck other men?

Why is the fetish never - can I give you a million pounds? Can I pay for you to go to Barbados? Can I pay off your mortgage?

Total fucking losers.

@byedriver or not ask and force participation.
Scary AF.

"Pay of your mortgage" is my fav fetish.

Did he ask you if that was OK, too?

Did he actually choke you? Maybe he needs reporting? He’s a weirdo

Why is the fetish never - can I give you a million pounds? Can I pay for you to go to Barbados? Can I pay off your mortgage?

Apparently this is a thing! Men who are into financial submission/being financially dominated. Generally really wealthy men!

I’ve unfortunately never been courted by one of these submissive millionaires.

Did you let a friend or relative know where you'd be that night, this was after all, only the second time you met this man?

Run like fuck.