How would you react to these emails?

[suspiciouswife]

Have name changed for this post.

Went to a party at the weekend a client of DH. A number of his colleagues were there. I don't know any of them very well but one girl was clearly talking about me and looked away quickly whenever I looked over.

I checked his phone last night. DH works very closely with a very glamorous and beautiful former model. In amongst lots of very normal professional emails there were various email exchanges between them which were not professional. They contain lots of smilies and winks (which is very unDH).

By way of example.

Girl - I feel really tipsy after that drink
DH- have some more
Girl - I really do feel tipsy. someone might take advantage
DH - Come and have another bottle. In here.

Girl - are you hungry yet. I want to go
DH - bit busy don't wait for me
Girl - of course I'm going to wait for you.

DH - Tea
Girl - no thanks
DH - Oh. That was a short conversation
Girl - got any gossip
DH - only that you came in looking very ruffled earlier covered in make up and dodgy stains.
Girl - I must be having an affair.

I am mad. Am I overreacting? To me this is crossing the line and goes beyond normal flirty behaviour.

If I didn't know it was a man and a woman it could be 2 women talking.

This sounds like the sort of emails I would send a friend. I've had worse conversations with ds's teacher (male, involving his legs).

TBh it doesn't sound like flirting to me. Yes she may be beautiful, but she may have the personality and charisma of a used nappy.

Are there any other signs?

not really

I'm overreacting aren't I

The only other thing is that he insists that she isn't attractive and she clearly is.

That last bit sounds to me like they are having an affair to me. Sorry to say that but it's like they're joking about it. So he comments on it knowing full well why she was looking like that and that she responds in kind. Just my opinion though.

I wouldn't like it tbh, but to me it does just sound like flirting - not like they are having a torrid affair. Still annoying though.

The other thing, and probably the reason I'm so suspicious, is that we met at work and he was married. This is how things started with us.

Probably me getting my comeuppance

If he was having an affair do you not think he would go to greater lenghths to hide the evidence?

I think you are right to be suspicious and that last line is a give away as far as I can see.

I'm sorry to say that I don't think you're over-reacting, all my alarm bells would be ringing, very loudly!

I don't know how you should proceed, but I would be very suspicious indeed

sorry
NO NO NO
this is NOT on
he IS haveing an affair or certainly thinking about it

even if he isnt these texts suggest an unpreofessional realtionship and i woudl NOT like it

oyu need to check his phone

why not do the old mn wife trick of replyig to a text when he is out " as " him

He clears his deleted items and changes his password quite frequently. He called her at 8am and then at 6.15 on Friday.

He is always moaning about how crap she is at her job (which I now think might be to throw me off the scent)

He was always very flirty. When I was first seeing him he flirted with my secretary so much that she asked me if she could borrow my best dress for the christmas party because she thought something was going to happen between them. he always denied he flirted with her. Think he was probably seeing whihc one of us he could get first!!!

He has been a model husband and father. No reason to suspect anything until now.

i also agree i dont like the last line over all of iot as not saying this is the case but if me and dp or should i say when we used to have sneaky moments i would text him and say your looking bit flustered and he would write back just had hot date with sexy girl

not saying its the same but the way its written to me sounds like the same sort of way we would text knowingly just the thrill of hearing it from other person

but thats just speculation but it does sound like you have reason to worry more so as you know he is capable

Put a spambot on her email account

Girl - I really do feel tipsy. someone might take advantage
DH - Come and have another bottle. In here.

Is also ringing alarm bells. I agree with Cod you need to text her as him.

IMO suspicious.

I think suspicious. But I think I may be a suspicious person!

"Someone might take advantage"
"Cone and have another bottle. In here"????

And that's not suspicious????

I'm a bit confused - was the girl at the party the model/colleague? If not, are you saying other people know/are talking about it?

God now I don't know what to do. I was going to drop it.

I think if nothing is going on, they want there to be

Ask him. You know him better than anyone and could read his rections. Better to get it out in the open.

No girl at the party was a different girl.

Model girl was at a wedding a few weeks ago (with her husband) and despite the fact that she is DHs assistant she didn't speak to us at all. To me that's also now suspicious