How would you react to these emails?

[suspiciouswife]

Have name changed for this post.

Went to a party at the weekend a client of DH. A number of his colleagues were there. I don't know any of them very well but one girl was clearly talking about me and looked away quickly whenever I looked over.

I checked his phone last night. DH works very closely with a very glamorous and beautiful former model. In amongst lots of very normal professional emails there were various email exchanges between them which were not professional. They contain lots of smilies and winks (which is very unDH).

By way of example.

Girl - I feel really tipsy after that drink
DH- have some more
Girl - I really do feel tipsy. someone might take advantage
DH - Come and have another bottle. In here.

Girl - are you hungry yet. I want to go
DH - bit busy don't wait for me
Girl - of course I'm going to wait for you.

DH - Tea
Girl - no thanks
DH - Oh. That was a short conversation
Girl - got any gossip
DH - only that you came in looking very ruffled earlier covered in make up and dodgy stains.
Girl - I must be having an affair.

I am mad. Am I overreacting? To me this is crossing the line and goes beyond normal flirty behaviour.

reactions NOT rections. Thats another matter entirely

Did he send texts or emails along the same lines to you when your relationship was first starting? If yes, then I would be suspicious.

I'd be suspicious of this too.
The 'in here' bit, to me is basically saying 'I'll take advantage'
Sorry.
Be him, see what you can get out of her before you confront him.
If you confront him first then he'll be aware, as will she, and they'd hide it better.

Yes we spent all day emailing when we were first seeing each other.

Maidamess that's a good idea. I'll get them into a room together and read his erections!

I would be suspicious of emails like that, but the best thing to do would be to ask him, however if he always denies it that wont get you far, perhaps you should try texting, but I would be sure of what you think cos you will have to explain it afterwards.

I'm so sorry!

Um, I wonder his his first wife said he was a model husband, too.

It sounds to me like he's having an affair, and he'll just continue having them until no one wants him anymore.

Sorry to sound blunt, but it seems to be in his nature.

Don't worry you made me laugh.

He has always said it was so awful having an affair that he'd never ever do it again. He adores the boys and I'd be surprised if he'd jeopardise his relationship with them.

So do you think the girl at the party knows something? Is she friendly with dh's assistant?

Did you know that you typed "read his erections"???

I bet if you confront him he'll deny it and say we just flirt, there's nothing in it blah blah.

I'd be doing lots of sneaky prying if I were you.

Sorry just read the rest of the thread.. [idiot emoticon]

girl at party works in same department.

I know about the erections - maidamess did it first and it made me laugh!

Right, something is up. The other girl knows something. First instincts are always right. The texts are suspicious at least. Gather your evidence and confront him.

Sorry

There is a saying, and it is awful but so often true -- when a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy.

Now I don't know about 'comuppance' and it's not my place to judge but if I was reading that exchange between my husband and another woman, fecking great big alarm bells would be ringing!

I mean! Come and have another bottle of wine in here so I can take advantage of you (is basically the gist of one bit!) and what seems a very clear allusion to some hanky panky "you came in looking very ruffled earlier covered in make up and dodgy stains.
Girl - I must be having an affair."

I'm sorry. Regardless how you got together, you must be feeling pretty crap.

He will completely deny it

Doing what Cod suggested sounds good. Then you could have actual proof to show him. Or hire a private detective. Or follow him yourself.

You're not going to be able to shake this until you know for sure, though

God I don't even know what I would do if I found out he was having an affair.

I don't think I'd leave him.

I think he is probably preparing to have an affair though. This is just how he used to be with me.

I've gone all shaky now.

God I don't even know what I would do if I found out he was having an affair.

I don't think I'd leave him.

I think he is probably preparing to have an affair though. This is just how he used to be with me.

I've gone all shaky now.

oops

Is there any chance that by getting it out in the open and telling him how upset you'd be if he went through with it, and how much you love him that he'd stop?

why does he have a code on his phone? is it a blackenbergen?

yes its a blackberry. none of the messaes are textx they are all emails.

I think he would stop. But then I didn't thnk he'd do it in the first place

hmm.
oh shiterroney