Am I overreacting to my wife chatting with dads and coaches?

[thunderkiss77]

At our son's games and practices, my wife is very chatty with the other dads and coaches and it's starting to get on my nerves but I want to be sure I'm not overreacting or being jealous. She'll walk off from me to go talk to another dad or one of the coaches and I think that's sort of rude. She will occasionally send me to go ask something for her, but a lot of times, its something I don't think is worth asking in the moment and if don't budge, she'll go. Last week she left our spot in the bleachers to go chat with one of the other dads who was spectating by himself (granted we all know each other of course). She was there for about 15 mins until some other parents showed up whom she doesn't care for. I'd understand chatting in passing, but leaving your seat in the middle of the game to go visit? I don't know.

I don't think it's her flirting and she's very social and an involved mom and it's related to our son and the game mostly. I do think the optics are bad, especially while I'm sitting around while she's in the face of some other dad. Last season, she was talking to one of the assistant coaches for 45 mins on the phone (regarding the team- our son was around but not me for most of it) and it was a call I thought was unnecessary and went too long. Now, I do think she has a bit of a liking for this guy. He's married and we saw him with family at a game last week (his kid is on the same team) and she led the charge to go speak to him, and his wife interjected with a big "hi" looking right at my wife, almost as if sending her a message- at least that's what I read into it.

Another season, there was a quiet dad she seemed to happy to talk with (seemingly more than him even) who I never had an exchange with. She may have known his son prior through teaching if I recall. She was always engaging this guy and even once left me in the middle of a game to "get a better spot" but wound up right next to him, grinning and chatting away. I was fuming. He was married but the wife didn't show that often. I actually looked up his phone number in the team directory and checked our call log to make sure I didn't see any calls between the two.

Sorry for being so verbose. Do I need to tell her to chill out or am I just being jealous? If we had a girl in sports and I ran around chatting with all the moms and female coaches with and without her, I'm sure she'd have something to say.
I feel like it's borderline disrespectful and she's doing more than necessary.

How many men exactly do you think your wife may be angling to cheat on you with? There are three in your first post alone but I assume she doesn’t limit her conversations with men to the soccer field.

Depends whether it is a fact and you know it as fact. My husband knows that because of my OCD that I have a hard time not giving a perfectly true answer and that I’ll research to the nth degree to make sure it is correct if I’m committing to it, so he likely wouldn’t consult someone else…are you ALWAYS right? Are you coming from a place of FACT or OPINION?

If you feel undermined that’s one thing, then talk to her about it. If it is justified then she will adjust her behavior so as not to upset you, but I suspect it isn’t justified and so she shouldn’t change her behaviour and won’t.

You need a counsellor, and you’re giving narcissistic vibes too, ask them about that.

How to say you're American, without saying you're American

I'd like to but I work a ton of hours and have a lot of other things on my plate like studying to change professions.

Guilty as charged 😅

It is thoughtless if her-I agree as in if the sexes were reversed,you’d get different answers.
Maybe you need to have a calm
discussion about how you feel.It could just be she is much more of a social butterfly than yourself,in which case either you join in the conversation or get over it
She might have no clue how you feel! I would certainly be upset if my husband did this

You're giving condescending vibes. I've kept things to myself with her, and the things I just said to you are things I get nailed for when the roles are reversed. When you research things and come back to your husband, do you give him a "hey baby, I checked it out and thats correct" or do you pass it off as an idea that you came up with?

You sound grossly controlling. Leave her alone with the autonomy to talk to who she wants. If you were secure this wouldn't bother you.

It's good that you are questioning this but yes, you do sound jealous.

You are sitting around watching your wife's every move. She is socialising and speaking to the parents of her DC's friends. That is completely normal. It also sets a good example for your DC.

you are even jealous of her talking to a relatively silent shy looking person, but didn't consider that she might just be being kind and inclusive.

Maybe you should try talking to people and socialising yourself. It would take your mind off being jealous and you might enjoy your time there more.

So you are both as bad as each other? Co-dependency 101.