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Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

1000 replies

BigSpongyHelmet · 21/09/2026 14:04

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 22/09/2026 20:58

Take him to Corbiers … that will help you work out if he’s a keeper …

BrunchLunch · 22/09/2026 21:00

Hopefully, it’ll blossom into something. It’s like reading or watching a love story! Have a lovely time.

My friend met her husband while she was on holiday, and they’ve been together for over 20 years.

YoungSoak · 22/09/2026 21:06

I’ve been following your thread and I can’t wait to hear how the date goes! I’ve also planned out your future together. No need to thank me. So you could both move somewhere equidistant from Manchester and Leeds. My googling tells me your options are Huddersfield or Rippendon, West Yorkshire. Perhaps you could discuss in more detail on the date?

Namechangewegovyjune26 · 22/09/2026 21:09

Edamcheese · 22/09/2026 19:38

Come on your 52 not a shy 15 yr old. Just message him if you don’t you’ll regret it. So what if he ignores you, as you’ll never see him again. Some you win some you don’t.Just don’t sound too keen and keep it simple. Other posters have given you plenty of tips on what to say. .

YOU’RE

Read the full thread!!

Come on now!

carly2803 · 22/09/2026 21:11

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 20:37

You do realise the thread has moved on, contact established and a date arranged

ive just read your post from start to finish - im SO pleased for you OP!!

Enjoy the date, this is so exciting!!

Lmnop22 · 22/09/2026 21:13

CrazyMidget · 22/09/2026 17:44

Excellent addition to the insults list, thank you.

So, for pointing out that we should not set such store by a stranger, and others who counselled caution, we currently stand at

Miserable cynical man-hating bitch
Negative dried-up old shrews
Bitter x 10
Unhinged
Hate men and women
Misandrist
Fruit loops
Emotionally unintelligent

Jesus Christ - it’s perfectly acceptable for someone to get excited by a first date without that making them some emotionally stunted man lauding anti-feminist!!

How does anyone ever get into a relationship if we are meant to remain aloof and suspicious forever…

Chickpeacurrywithrice · 22/09/2026 21:13

shhblackbag · 22/09/2026 20:03

I don't have social media. They're welcome to Google.

What if they were the same, would it be red flag? If he had no socials that you feel appropriate to stalk, would it worry you or put you off?

Booboobagins · 22/09/2026 21:16

I wouldn't message him, you've already done that. The ball's in his court.

Patience is a skill we should all use. If he likes you and nothing horrible has happened, he will message you.

BinNightTonight · 22/09/2026 21:17

Invested!!

WigglywagglyWanda · 22/09/2026 21:21

I mean

Are people just taking the piss now or what?

37 pages and they are still answering the first fooken post🤣🤣🤣

mrshiddleston69 · 22/09/2026 21:21

Just going through the same thing except mine was over this past weekend. Great connection and conversation and him saying positively he would love to meet. Met at a work event where he was a vendor. Anyway we meet up again next day and same energy. The day after that we speak on the phone and text - initiated by him. Then yesterday nothing. So I decide to text then he says yeah sure come to my place 🤦🏽‍♀️. Doesn’t want to go on a proper date and the enthusiasm has all fizzled out. I’m glad I texted though the silence should have spoken for itself. Text him - his response or lack there of will give you the information you seek. Good luck 🤞🏼

Ifyounevergiveup · 22/09/2026 21:22

This thread has made me SO HAPPY! I hope you ride off into whatever sunset suits you both! 😍

Taytosambo · 22/09/2026 21:22

Booboobagins · 22/09/2026 21:16

I wouldn't message him, you've already done that. The ball's in his court.

Patience is a skill we should all use. If he likes you and nothing horrible has happened, he will message you.

You've got to be fucking kidding right? 😩

Namechangewegovyjune26 · 22/09/2026 21:23

Booboobagins · 22/09/2026 21:16

I wouldn't message him, you've already done that. The ball's in his court.

Patience is a skill we should all use. If he likes you and nothing horrible has happened, he will message you.

Jesus

GilmoreGirly86 · 22/09/2026 21:25

No idea what all the negativity's about from a lot of commenters (quite sad really) but I just wanted to say I hope you have a great time together, OP.

RapunzelHadExtensions · 22/09/2026 21:43

So excited for you OP!

I hope you connect just as well on home soil. 💚

You treat yourself to a nice, long, dirty yomp.

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 21:56

Thanks again everyone, I'm going to leave this thread here now, can't believe it's not far off 1000 posts, because if one more person says to message him I may spontaneously combust!

I'll start a new thread when the date has been had, or even during, how exciting will that be? Grin The new thread name will be that suggested in this one earlier today.

Thanks for keeping me company ❤️

OP posts:
OnlyUsername · 22/09/2026 21:57

JeanSimmons · 22/09/2026 19:28

I'm sorry, but you seriously think that it was the same person? That is unhinged. I think that some people both have main character syndrome and have watched far too many Harlan Coben series.

It's the right accent area for OP to run around attractively in a baseball cap yelling "I'm in the car! I'm Maya Stern! My husband is dead! Tommy Dark! Corey the Whistle!"

This is quite a specific reference, I'm aware.

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 21:59

OnlyUsername · 22/09/2026 21:57

It's the right accent area for OP to run around attractively in a baseball cap yelling "I'm in the car! I'm Maya Stern! My husband is dead! Tommy Dark! Corey the Whistle!"

This is quite a specific reference, I'm aware.

Grin
OP posts:
RapunzelHadExtensions · 22/09/2026 21:59

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 21:56

Thanks again everyone, I'm going to leave this thread here now, can't believe it's not far off 1000 posts, because if one more person says to message him I may spontaneously combust!

I'll start a new thread when the date has been had, or even during, how exciting will that be? Grin The new thread name will be that suggested in this one earlier today.

Thanks for keeping me company ❤️

Edited

OK fine but can you at least confirm if you've messaged him?

😂

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 22:03

RapunzelHadExtensions · 22/09/2026 21:59

OK fine but can you at least confirm if you've messaged him?

😂

Fuck off! Grin

OP posts:
PinkEasterbunny · 22/09/2026 22:06

The new thread name will be that suggested in this one earlier today.

I must have missed that - what will the new thread be called?

HazelOP1972 · 22/09/2026 22:06

Married or cant be bothered now he is back to reality unfort.

FannybygaslightinGovan · 22/09/2026 22:07

HazelOP1972 · 22/09/2026 22:06

Married or cant be bothered now he is back to reality unfort.

😂😂😂

Chickpeacurrywithrice · 22/09/2026 22:07

Booboobagins · 22/09/2026 21:16

I wouldn't message him, you've already done that. The ball's in his court.

Patience is a skill we should all use. If he likes you and nothing horrible has happened, he will message you.

Some posters try other posters patience to the extreme!! 🤦‍♀️

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