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Would you message him after a lovely holiday connection went quiet?

1000 replies

BigSpongyHelmet · 21/09/2026 14:04

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

OP posts:
NoCommentingFromNowOn · 22/09/2026 19:47

Pinky1977 · 22/09/2026 19:45

If he wanted to he would sorry end of , men chase what they want

If you wanted to read the thread you would have.

But you didn’t.

BewareTheGurus · 22/09/2026 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JeanSimmons · 22/09/2026 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Lol at your reverse ferreting.

BewareTheGurus · 22/09/2026 19:56

JeanSimmons · 22/09/2026 19:52

Lol at your reverse ferreting.

No 'reverse ferretting' whatsoever. I haven't even got out of neutral.

Are you doing this to try to wind me up? Clearly you don't have anything better to do.

Enjoy your evening.

OP _ Delighted! Have a brilliant time!

Netcurtainnelly · 22/09/2026 19:57

BigSpongyHelmet · 21/09/2026 14:04

Name changed obviously as I feel really pathetic.

Recently returned from a solo holiday, met a really lovely man on the Thursday evening (I went home the following Saturday), whilst watching a live band and we chatted for hours about everything and anything. It all felt really natural, he was a little shy but we had a lovely time and I felt comfortable when he offered to walk me back (near to) my apartment. I'd had a few drinks as had he and he asked if I wanted to link arms as I seemed a little unsteady...I probably was to be fair, I was merry but as I don't drink often, it probably takes me much less to get tipsy than others!

Anyhoo, the walk back was 20 mins, in that time we went from linked arms to holding hands, chatted all the way about our jobs, friends, holidays, the fact that we were both single, and ended up sitting on a bench near the apartment until 4.00 a.m. just chatting. It was so lovely. The next morning he messaged me saying he'd had a lovely time and could he see me again, we decided to go and see a singer we'd both talked about the night before, so I met him at 4.30 in a seafront bar, had a couple of cocktails, saw the singer at 6.30 and then he asked if he could buy me dinner. Ended up at the same bar as the night before watching the live band again, didn't stop chatting and laughing and we also had a couple of snogs (discretely, it was very dark). He walked me back again, took a bit longer this time as we were constantly stopping for a kiss, he was a gentlemen, didn't try anything else, walked me to my door, bit more kissing, said he'd love to see when he gets home and then he said he better let me go as I was leaving for the airport at 9 the next day.

He messaged me whilst I was at the airport, said how lovely it had been to meet me and he really wanted to see me again and he'd message/call me when he got home (he was there until Thursday last week). I responded to say I'd really enjoyed meeting him and I'd love to see him again....and then nothing. And still nothing.

I have to say this has really hit me hard and I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, I really liked him and I honestly thought he would get in touch. My friends are in 2 camps, some have said message him (mostly blokes), some have said you messaged last, you made your feelings clear and he DID say he'd message you once home. I have stopped myself from messaging him so many times as I don't want to feel like I'm prompting him, but I would have really liked to see him again. It could have been all bullshit on holiday but then why text me when I'm on my way home.

We're both 52 for context.

WWYD?

Has he seen the message? Could you call him once just in case?
Messages aren't always the best things.
Nobody here can know what he's thinking.

shhblackbag · 22/09/2026 19:57

Calliopespa · 21/09/2026 17:55

Woah steady on ...!

Surely that's more relevant when you ARE seeing someone, not when you are not?

I don't know. I would definitely check before dating anyone these days.

Chickpeacurrywithrice · 22/09/2026 19:59

Netcurtainnelly · 22/09/2026 19:57

Has he seen the message? Could you call him once just in case?
Messages aren't always the best things.
Nobody here can know what he's thinking.

If you filter the OPs posts, things have changed a lot since that post!

Chickpeacurrywithrice · 22/09/2026 20:00

shhblackbag · 22/09/2026 19:57

I don't know. I would definitely check before dating anyone these days.

Are you happy for them to do the same? Know where you live, work, hobbies etc?

shhblackbag · 22/09/2026 20:03

Chickpeacurrywithrice · 22/09/2026 20:00

Are you happy for them to do the same? Know where you live, work, hobbies etc?

I don't have social media. They're welcome to Google.

SweetForce · 22/09/2026 20:04

Netcurtainnelly · 22/09/2026 19:57

Has he seen the message? Could you call him once just in case?
Messages aren't always the best things.
Nobody here can know what he's thinking.

It’s page 36. Read the OP’s posts.

SeaSunandSand · 22/09/2026 20:05

What an adventure reading that thread was! And what an adventure for you!
I hope your date goes wonderfully and he is as you remember him being.
This could be the start of a beautiful romance… or a funny story to tell for years to come.
Fingers crossed for you OP! Have a lovely time!

Oh and have you thought of messaging him? Maybe you had the dates wrong? 😜
Don’t forget to cancel the cheque and borrow a police dog…

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/09/2026 20:14

BigSpongyHelmetFanClub · 22/09/2026 19:03

I hope it all works out with Mr Lover Man. He sounds great and so do you.
Don’t bother responding to the nay sayers who think he’s trying to harvest your organs 😂

Your fan club awaits op. So sooo going to be papping them ‘yomping’. Wink Wink

Mindfulmother01 · 22/09/2026 20:16

Read all of your posts in one go OP 😂 just want to say I'm happy for you and enjoy!

Lugol · 22/09/2026 20:18

Copperoliverbear · 21/09/2026 16:04

I’d message him incase he’s lost his phone or something. If he doesn’t reply then you will know.

If he'd lost his phone, he wouldn't reply 🤷🏻‍♀️

GreenHuia · 22/09/2026 20:21

Pinky1977 · 22/09/2026 19:45

If he wanted to he would sorry end of , men chase what they want

You realise men can be shy or insecure?

OP, hope you have a lovely yomp. Please keep us updated!

Copperoliverbear · 22/09/2026 20:31

@Lugolwell he could have got a new phone by now but not have all the numbers because it hasn’t saved them all even though he will have the same number

CleverlyBeery · 22/09/2026 20:31

Ah OP, it wouldn't be a Mumsnet thread without people getting so invested they post on MN to tell you that posting on MN about something is proof you're far, far too invested....

BigSpongyHelmet · 22/09/2026 20:37

Copperoliverbear · 22/09/2026 20:31

@Lugolwell he could have got a new phone by now but not have all the numbers because it hasn’t saved them all even though he will have the same number

You do realise the thread has moved on, contact established and a date arranged

OP posts:
Lugol · 22/09/2026 20:37

OP I am delighted he responded and a date is set.

But what if he turns out to be the original Mr Big Spongey Helmet? 😩

Copperoliverbear · 22/09/2026 20:39

Ohh brilliant I didn’t check was just responding to an email. Great news.

Imaginingdragonsagain · 22/09/2026 20:46

This is lovely, was reading through your updates hoping you had a response. @BigSpongyHelmet Hope the date goes really well.

SquirrelMadness · 22/09/2026 20:51

I thought I was a bit of a suspicious and cynical woman, but even I can still enjoy a good romance story. Surely feminism should make us feel more confident to take the bull by the horns and make a move, rather than sitting demurely and waiting.

I'm so glad you texted him OP, I hope your date goes well. All the stuff about identity theft, fraud, condiments (!), lying about flight arrivals for no clear reason - it's all been quite entertaining. I'm glad you continued to update as it's been really uplifting to read (your posts that is!).

IwouldlikeanewTV · 22/09/2026 20:53

Good luck. Sounds like an old fashioned holiday romance. Have fun and enjoy it. Much safer than OLD. Some of the posters on her are bonkers and have probably not dated for many years so have no idea how hard it is to meet nice men in real life.

RingInTheNew · 22/09/2026 20:53

I have only just found this post and think it’s lovely (apart from the mad responses). You and he sound fabulous and I hope you have a brilliant time together when he comes to Manchester x

WigglywagglyWanda · 22/09/2026 20:54

Lugol · 22/09/2026 20:37

OP I am delighted he responded and a date is set.

But what if he turns out to be the original Mr Big Spongey Helmet? 😩

I hadn't thought of that!

So that's just another worry to add to getting her identity stolen, he's married, he's out to scam you, he's after selling your body parts.....now hes the ORIGINAL Big Spongy Helmet😭😭😭😭

I think you should just sit shaking and crying behind the sofa like a few examples on here.

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